What’s the Secret to living until 104?

Rachel’s story of 104 years of faith, movement, & never giving up

Rachel, a few days from turning 104, went to the doctor’s office for a cortisone shot. She asked where a couple of specific doctors were, and her daughter-in-law let her know that they had already died. Rachel responded, “What! All the doctors have died and I’m still here?!!”

That’s the Rachel I know, or for me, Grandma.

Rachel was born on Nov 29th, 1915, in Hope, Indiana.

She lived through the Great Depression, losing her life savings she had put away in the bank to attend college.

She was a female reporter in an era where few women worked. She went door to door around the square in Hope, Indiana and walked into the local shops and asked them what news they had.

When she was 26, she found herself smitten with Lewis Ross who was stationed in New Jersey, getting ready to be deployed to Iceland during World War II.

Lewis asked his Captain for a 5-day pass to go back to Indiana. He was told that they weren’t giving out more passes because they would likely be getting shipped off soon. But the Captain proceeded to ask, “Why?” Lewis let him know, “I’d like to get married.” The Captain, Frederick Abraham, let Lewis go but required one thing in return… that Lewis and Rachel’s firstborn would be named after him. Lewis took the train to Hope, Indiana and the next day, after getting married, he got back on the train to New Jersey before being shipped off.

Years later at an Army reunion, Captain Frederick met Lewis and Rachel’s son, my dad. Dad introduced himself as William which left the Captain perplexed. Lewis looked over at him and said, “I take orders from a new boss now.”

One day, as we sat in the back of my sister’s car, I asked my grandmother, “What’s the secret to living to be 100?” She replied, “I just keep moving and I hang out with people who keep moving as well.”

It was simple and profound.

For those who know Rachel Ross, how true it is that she just keeps moving.

I’ve never known Grandma not to be moving. When I would visit her as a child, I don’t think I ever saw her sit longer than 10 minutes. She would stand up and say, “I can’t do this, I’ve got to keep moving!,” while I continued to lay there and watch cartoons for hours. As I got older, and she got older, I would be sitting on the couch watching a football game and still, after 10 minutes, a nearly 100 year old Rachel would stand up, hold on to her walker and start moving her arms up and down, “I’ve got to keep moving!” She would push her walker up and down the hallway that went about 8–10 paces.

Grandma was a big Colts fan and was particularly fond of Andrew Luck who she had the chance to meet in Indianapolis. She was watching the big matchup of Peyton Manning’s return to Indianapolis versus the Colts. When the Colts beat the Broncos, she decided to celebrate with ice cream. She walked to the kitchen, and at the age of 97, she fell to the floor and broke her hip.

She knew the ‘gas man’ would be there the next day so she decided to just lay on the floor until he arrived. But as time passed, she realized, he would come, knock on the door and then go away when she didn’t answer. She needed to hatch another plan.

She crawled over to the wall and yanked on the phone cord which pulled the rotary dial phone off of the counter and on to the floor. She dialed 911 and told them, “I want Jeff Porter sent to my house.” Jeff was the local Deputy Sherriff in Greensburg, Indiana. The 911 operator told her, “That’s not how we do things here.” Grandma responded, “I don’t care how you do things. I want Jeff Porter.” The 911 operator again explained how they did things and Grandma again explained how things were going to be.

They called Jeff Porter, a neighbor of Rachel’s who she had known since he was a kid. Jeff showed up, kicked two doors down and the paramedics took her to the hospital.

The prognosis was that she would make it another 6 months max. I got on a flight from Portland, Oregon the next day and flew to Indiana, not sure if she would even make it another few days.

She was still awake when the surgeon came in to operate on her. She told him, “Don’t put me to sleep, just give me an aspirin, I want to see what you’re doing.” The surgeon gave her a shot and put her to sleep.

After my flight landed, I hustled to the hospital which was an hour away. I walked into Grandma’s room, just a day after surgery to see her… exercising. I was a bit confused. She was laying on her bed going through physical therapy and every time she finished a set of 10, she would do one more and shout, “11!”

She told the nurses and therapists that not only would she get well, she would get well and move back home to live on her own.

5 months later, she did just that.

But I guess she did have her limits to what she would do as she told me, “If someone suggests I get brain surgery, I’m not doing it.”

She always had a sharp mind. When Steve Harvey accidentally announced the wrong winner of the Miss America Pageant in 2015, Grandma asked me, “Did you see what that guy did at the Miss America Pageant?” “Yes, I did, Grandma.” “Well,” she said, “at least I still have my right mind!”

Rachel never got her Driver’s License. “I didn’t really see the need to drive,” she would say. She walked everywhere. She walked to work each day and back. She would walk to get her haircut. And she even walked to the grocery store where she would only buy as much as she could carry back home.

When she was in her late 90’s, there was a big snow. My parents warned her about going outside and asked her not to. When the weather cleared, my parents went over to visit her and noticed nicely shoveled paths along the walkways and to the mailbox. My dad confronted her, “Mom, did you go outside and shovel the snow.” She responded, “No, I didn’t… I was just pushing it around.”

After she turned 100, she said, “I think I’ll relax and I’ll be more careful about how I take out the garbage.” She had broken a rib while kicking the trash to the curb at the age of 99.

At times, when we were at her home around the holidays, I would walk into the kitchen and find half of her body dangling from inside the attic. She would look at me, startled like a child who had been caught with a hand in the cookie jar, and put her finger over her mouth, “Sssshhhhh, don’t tell your parents!”

She told me she played the banjo and took piano lessons as a kid but that she wasn’t good at practicing, she ‘just wanted to be outside.’ She said, “I was a farmer girl, milking cows and driving horses.”

Even when my dad was a child, there was Grandma in the fields playing softball with all of the young neighborhood boys. She was in her 40’s and oftentimes, she would take on all of the boys herself only requiring that she would have a catcher. She played all the other positions. When she batted, if she didn’t hit a homerun, they would put a ghost man on second base.

And to this day, she still tells me about her basketball exploits. “I was a good guard. I was real shifty. Because I was short, I could go in and out in a hurry. In and out, in and out.”

The secret to her living is surely not her diet which has consisted mostly of chocolate ice cream (the generic kind, ‘don’t get me that good stuff!’) and Reese Cups.

When Angie (her granddaughter) told her, “Grandma, you need to drink some water.” Always the combatant, grandma lobbied back, “I am, I had ice cream.” Angie plainly stated, “That’s not water.” And grandma plainly responded back, “It’s milk.” If it’s ice cream, it must be milk, and if it’s milk, it must be water. You learn to follow her logic.

Grandma never took medicine. When she got older, she was encouraged to take vitamins so she took a quarter of a Vitamin C one time and it made her feel ‘dizzy’, so she went back to her plan, ice cream and Reese Cups with the occasional chocolate cake.

One time she got dehydrated and went to see the doctor. He told her, “There’s some tests that need to be run so they may have to keep you at the hospital overnight.” She got really irritated as she waited hour after hour for a doctor. Finally, a young, spry doctor came cheerfully walking her way and asked her, “Well, how do you feel today?” She looked at him sternly and responded, “I feel with my fingers.” The nurses keeled over laughing.

She would even open up tubs of ice cream so they would be ready for her in the middle of the night.

“I should open up the ice cream,” she told me at 11:37pm, “See, in case I get up (in the middle of the night), it’s already open.”

When I asked her what her go-to item at the grocery store was, she responded, “Chocolate, ice cream, and Reese Cups” before interrupting herself, “Did your mother get some (Reese Cups) today?”

For some reason, she thought that diet must work for others as well. “John, do you see that box of cookies over there?” “Yes,” I replied. “You’re going to get sick if you don’t eat all of them,” she said.

You can’t be around Rachel for long without hearing words of encouragement, ‘Keep your Faith,’ ‘Pray to God,’ ‘Stay Positive,’ ‘God’s got a plan.’ And she’ll likely be quoting the 23rd Psalm or singing an old church hymn or children’s song.

She always seemed to bounce back no matter what. One time, Angie was helping her in the restroom when she said, “I’m done.” She left the restroom, walked to her room, and started quoting the 23rd Pslam. She told Angie how much she loved her, “I love you so so much.” And then she laid down. Angie walked to the kitchen sobbing for the next 30 minutes thinking it was the last time she’d ever talk to her grandmother. And then, all chipper like nothing had happen, Grandma walks in, “You’re still up?!” and proceeds to get a bowl of ice cream.

I asked her, “Are you excited about your birthday?” She responded, “No.” And I said, “Well I am! You’re going to be 104 Grandma!!” And she said, “I’m glad you are” and then she started counting… “1… 2… 3… 4… 5… 6… 7… 8… 9… 10… 11… 12…” and then blurted out, “I’m tired” and proceeded to quote the 23rd Psalm from memory and then sing ‘Eeny, meeny, miny, moe.’

My sister Angie asked, “How does it feel that you’re outliving so many people?” Grandma responded, “I just don’t know why. But if I can help somebody (I will). I want to do good. I want to help people. I love people. I just have so much to be thankful for.”

“I try to be a good person and love people. I don’t have an enemy. If I could help anyone, I would. I wish I could do more.”

At Christmas, she shared with her grandkids, “I don’t have any presents, all I have to give is my love,” which melted each of our hearts.

When asked about what her perfect day would be, she responded, “I’m just thankful for a perfect day. I’m just so thankful for everything. For everybody. I’m a positive thinker. God has a purpose for each and every person and whatever happens, happens.”

Always the humble one, when I told her how great her hair looked, she responded loudly, “My goodness! All the men have been telling me that. It’s just plain ole me!”

I think this sums up the second secret well. First, keep moving, and second, do good and love others. Even at 104, she hopes that her living so long can encourage and inspire someone else. Even though, for the last several years, she has been ready to go herself often sharing with tears in her eyes, “I just want to meet my mother.” Her mother passed away from complications of childbirth. It’s something special to see someone over 100 simply wanting to meet their mom.

When Kelli (her granddaughter) asked her what her hopes were for us, she replied, “I want you all to be what my mother would hope for you to be.” “What is that?,” Kelli replied. “From what I know of my mother, she was very kind and she always took care of others.”

Even when Grandma passes, she’s still going to be thinking of others. “When I die, I want to have a short funeral because people have stuff to do.”

So what’s the secret?

Keep moving. Stay positive. Be kind. And don’t give up.

At her 100th birthday party, she grabbed the microphone and gave a speech, “I’m just so thankful. So thankful. Don’t ever forget. There’s the good Lord with you. Keep looking up. Don’t give up.”