What’s the Best Response to a Man’s Infidelity?

Perhaps we can learn some lessons from Liv in “Wilderness”

I don’t think men should be killed for infidelity.

But I can enjoy watching a woman as she plots her wandering partner’s demise, can’t I?

This is the theme of “Wilderness,” staring Jenna Coleman as Liv, the betrayed, and Oliver Jackson-Cohen as Will, the betrayer. Described as a “deliciously” twisted thriller, some early scenes seem almost comedic.

But this tale turns dark, revealing the depth of Will’s depravity while also demonstrating William Congreve’s point:

“Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.”

Despite all the plot twists that go against her favor, Liv turns out to be more clever than we might ever have imagined. As she suggests in her final monologue, if you push women too far, we may become the wolves.

[Spoiler Alert]

Newly married, Liv gives up her work as a journalist and moves from London to New York with Will to support his career. At first, the two seem fantastically in love.

Liv attempts to embrace her housewife status as the one who cooks, cleans, and decorates. But you can sense her reservations about her new role and her loss of a professional identity. Occasionally, she stares at an almost blank screen with the title of her first novel displayed at the top of the page.

When Liv accidentally discovers Will’s infidelity, she does the right thing in my view. She kicks him out of the apartment and tells him not to come back. Liv can’t believe she’s suddenly turned into her mother, who had been betrayed by her husband decades back.

As you might guess, Will begs for forgiveness. He claims it was just a meaningless one-night stand and the worst mistake of his life. He proclaims his undying love for Liv and promises to never be unfaithful again.

Liv caves and allows Will to return—her first mistake.

To bolster their marriage, Will suggests they take the long-anticipated trip of a lifetime across the USA. They drive through wide-open Southwest spaces in a top-down powder blue vintage Ford Mustang looking very happily-ever-after.

But Liv’s smiles serve as a mask to hide her devious plans.

Before they embarked, Liv had discovered the one-night stand was anything but that. Her happy appearance isn’t due to regained marital bliss, but rather her delicious inner schemes to get the ultimate revenge.

Liv doesn’t want to become like her mother. Decades later, her mom continues to follow her ex-husband’s social media feeds. She constantly remarks about him and his new wife. “She doesn’t feed him right!”

From Liv’s perspective, it’s not enough to leave Will in response to his infidelity. How would she ever be able to get him out of her mind? Murder is the only way out of this man-made labyrinth of lies and betrayal perpetrated upon her.

On the road, Liv teases Will to the edge of the Grand Canyon. She’s just about to give him a fatal push when a woman drives up in an R.V. and yells, “Can you help me?”

After this fail, Liv envisions more bizarre life-ending scenarios. She could leave food outside their tent, tempting a bear to claw Will to death. Too messy, she decides. Maybe a car accident? But she might get hurt.

“Wilderness” has many twists and turns—too many to share here. But the whole story pivots when, in a bout of rage, Liv mistakenly kills Cara, Will’s lover, instead of him.

Will and Liv now become each other’s alibi for Cara’s murder. He fears becoming a suspect if the detectives ever discover their affair. And Liv has her own murderous secret to hide.

This mutually beneficial pact makes their toxic relationship deteriorate all the more. Eventually, Liv discovers Cara wasn’t the only other woman. Will had a second lover and perhaps there were more.

Finally, Liv steals up the courage to insist on a divorce. But the ever-possessive Will refuses and resorts to violence to establish his line.

Liv remains trapped in this now even darker and more disastrous marriage, at least for the moment. But ultimately, she cooks up a way to get rid of Will for a very long time.

Do you think I’m sick to even enjoy such a plot?

Honestly, I liked the first half more than second, when murder scenarios were more like whimsical fantasies. The second half felt dirty and dark but also a realistic representation of the way some marriages go.

Having been betrayed more than once myself, I’m stuck with the belief that men lack in trustworthiness. It doesn’t help that I live in a country where famous men are often called out for cheating, sexual abuse, and rape—reinforcing the idea.

So, a little vicarious revenge—why not?

It’s not clear infidelity statistics bear out my personal conclusion on the trustworthiness of men. Accurate statistics on infidelity are hard to come by. Some sources claim men cheat more than women. Others say the two genders cheat at equal rates.

I know from my own personal experience it can take a long time to recover when you’ve been betrayed by the person you trusted the most. Studies show you can suffer from anxiety, post-traumatic stress, depression, and mistrust for months and even years after your spouse has cheated on you.

So, I’m not alone in my mistrust. But perhaps it’s not as gender specific as I imagined.

The first time I discovered a partner had cheated, I took all his clothes and dumped them in a pile on the front lawn. The second time, I had more years invested in the relationship. We spent the next year in relationship counseling.

But in the end, he cheated again.

In retrospect, I realize I wasted a year of my life holding onto a relationship that was fated to end. I could have removed myself from the situation, focused on my own healing, and moved on with my life.

Based on my lived experience, if you were to ask my advice about a cheating spouse, I would say follow Liv’s first example. Kick him out of the apartment and tell him to never come back. Or, follow my first instinct. Throw his clothes out on the lawn and lock the door shut.

Don’t make the mistake of letting him back in. And it’s okay if you have a few murderous fantasies.

We know you won’t act them out (right?).

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