What’s Good For The Goose Is Not Always Good For The Gander

Just because I’m a worker bee, doesn’t mean you should knuckle down and write your way out of depression.

Many years ago I consulted an astrologist who told me I had the chart of a working girl. Direct quote, so don’t blame me for the “girl” label.

At least a decade earlier than that, I participated in an EST seminar where I had an insight about myself that I loved to work.

At the time, I worked in an emergency department at the medical center of a major university. I loved working in medicine. Working at my job, performing well, and the exposure to medicine gave me a great deal of satisfaction.

When I discovered writing, my enjoyment of that type of work increased exponentially. Writing wasn’t work, it became my passion.

However, during these years, I didn’t work in a vacuum. I had ups and downs, of course. But despite various upheavals, challenges, and changes in my life, I continued to work and write. I continued to get a great deal of personal satisfaction from these areas of my life, even though working and writing were not always easy.

Fast forward to my elderly years. In fact, that seems the way time has flown for me. Though I no longer work at a 9–5 job, I work daily at my first love, writing.

I find myself generally in an emotionally comfortable state of mind. It’s rare for me to have the blues or to find myself out of sorts. My business is writing novels, freelance editing, and now publishing on Medium. I pursue this work on a daily basis. I’d say I’m still a working girl, I still love to work. In fact, you can call me a worker bee.

I pride myself on a basic level of discipline that allows me to produce the work that keeps me in stretchy pants and orthopedic shoes. However, the last two days have disrupted my focus. I’ve found it difficult to resist turning on the TV the last several mornings to watch the televised impeachment hearings of our president.

I’m somewhat of a political junkie in addition to my other interests. I’ve also made a commitment to myself to publish daily on Medium. For the last few months, I’ve been able to publish daily, and happily, my income has reflected that work.

However, I can report that I’m not a multi-tasker. I tried writing with the hearings on low in the background. It turned out I was writing garbage so I closed my computer and dug into the hearings.

Last night, after not completing an article for three days, I found myself falling into a trough of negativity. I was recounting my flaws, my dissatisfactions with my life, my lack of blah, blah, blah.

If you’ve ever had the blues, you know where my head was headed last night.

The hearings continued this morning. My TV occupies a prominent place in my living room. I work on a laptop, which means I could move my working routine any place in my apartment. I confess I succumbed to the lure of the current scandal occupying my country and turned on the TV.

Hating myself the whole time for realizing I’d be wrecking another working day. I do my best work in the morning, and if I waited to get busy until the lunch break, I might as well kiss my workday goodbye.

And again, my prickly, negative thoughts announced themselves. This morning they attacked my thickening waistline, the fact that I can’t wear smart, sexy stilettos like Nancy Pelosi, who’s only a few years younger than I am. Maybe if I’d been better at exercising, I’d have better knees and back muscles so I could wear . . .

At that point, I turned off the TV.

I don’t believe I’m the finest specimen on the planet. But normally, I don’t waste much time worrying about the way I look. I realized why I was sinking into all this depressive thinking. I wasn’t getting my work done.

Sure, I wanted to be able to hold up my end of the chat the next time I got together with my friends. I’m happy to opine on the politics of the day, the current bestsellers, the endless road construction project outside my window that keeps me awake at night.

But if I continued staying on top of the hearings, it would be at the expense of not just my work, but my mental health. In part, I think, because of the depressing conduct of public officials, but also because I wasn’t getting the almost medicinal hit from doing the work that almost gives me a reason for living: writing.

I picked up the article I last worked on and spent a few minutes refreshing my memory about the objectives of the piece. Then I plunged into the work. I finished the article, ran it through Grammarly, and sent it to a publication.

I took a short break and turned on the TV to catch up on the news. But I had directed my focus back to my work. I listened with only half an ear. I realized I was eager to get back to work. Writing my article had cut the cord to my negative thinking. Writing is my solution to depression, the blues, feelings of uselessness, worries about my waistline, or any other issue that can cause me to give a knock on my life.

Say what you will about astrology, this episode was a reminder of the truth of the reading I received almost thirty years ago, and my own observation about myself way back when almost fifty years ago.

I’m a worker bee, not a lady of leisure. If I didn’t need to earn a living, I suspect I’d find a reason to pursue some serious work to absorb my time. I doubt it would be lunching and shopping.

The point of this revelation? I’m sure you’re thinking you have something better to do than read a recounting of my morning dealing with the temptation of political scandals.

However, if that’s what you think, I still need to make my point.

Many writers on Medium recount their difficulty with depression, negative thinking, lack of writing discipline, and issues with self-image.

A part of me likes to think I’m the boss of the world, or at least a boss at fixing other people’s lives. Probably that’s why I’ve become a life coach. However, I’ve learned that what’s good for the goose is not good for the gander.

I’d love to tell you that if you are down in the dumps, just open your computer and start writing. It works for me, and it will work for you.

However, humans are not made of the same type of protoplasm and sent out into the world by some cookie-cutter process. Each of us is an individual. We have different vulnerabilities and needs.

Some of us can use interests and passions, such as writing or art to break the grip of depression. Others need therapy or even medication.

I’ve come across other situations where experts propose one-size-fits all solutions to very complex processes. When discussing writing, proponents of outlining will insist that their method of approaching a long form work such as a novel or short story is the only way to go.

On the other hand, if you’re what’s known as a panster, someone who writes from an idea, by the seat of their pants, letting it flow without a structure, advocating outlining to them can thwart their flow, while pushing pantsing won’t help a writer who needs a step by step structure.

We have to be careful of advising people using remedies that work for ourselves but may offer no help to someone struggling with depression or writing block.

I’m certainly not advocating that we refrain from offering aid and comfort to our friends. Often, we have good advice and experience that can be helpful to loved ones dealing with pressing issues.

But we need to resist a temptation to force advice on others just because it works for us. It’s far better to try to put ourselves in another’s shoes and get a sense of what really works for another person.

It may take eating a slice of humble pie to pull back from offering advice we believe in but which may not be helpful for another.

This exercise may have a two-fold benefit. It can prevent someone from becoming unduly influenced to take a wrong step by a trusted friend. But also, by biting our tongue and recognizing that maybe our advice is either not welcome or not appropriate, we can learn a lesson in humility.

And that is never a bad thing.

I’m an editor and writer on Medium with Top Writer status. I’m also an editor for the publication, Rogues Gallery. I’ve published 55 titles on Amazon and edit for private clients. If you’d like to hire me as your editor for fiction, non-fiction, or business writing, please contact me here. If you’d like to read more of my work on Medium, click here to sign up for my newsletter. I’ll make sure you don’t miss a word. Thank you for reading.