What’s Done is Done

Summary

The text uses the parable of two monks to illustrate the importance of letting go of past grudges and resentments for personal emotional freedom.

Abstract

The article begins with a parable about two monks encountering a woman at a river crossing, where the older monk carries the woman across the river, upsetting the younger monk who believes they should not interact with women. Later, the older monk explains the futility of holding onto resentment when he asks the younger monk why he continues to carry the burden of anger over the incident. The article then encourages readers to reflect on their own grudges, emphasizing that holding onto these negative feelings only harms oneself. It suggests that forgiveness is a path to emotional liberation and that by choosing to let go of anger, one can achieve true freedom and stop blaming others for their emotional state. The text concludes with a call to action, inviting readers to subscribe to a newsletter for more content and to consider using an AI service recommended by the author.

Opinions

The author conveys that harboring anger and resentment is an unnecessary burden that only serves to harm the person holding the grudge.
Forgiveness is presented as an act of self-care and liberation, rather than a favor to the person who caused the harm.
The story of the monks serves as a metaphor for the idea that past transgressions should not be dwelt upon, as they only weigh down the present and future.
The article implies that people often hold onto grudges under the false belief that it punishes the other party, when in fact it only perpetuates their own emotional distress.
Letting go of grudges is portrayed as a conscious choice that individuals must make to improve their mental well-being.
The author suggests that readers should take proactive steps to manage their emotions, such as subscribing to a newsletter for ongoing guidance or using AI services to enhance personal growth.

What’s Done is Done

Free yourself by letting go of grudges and resentments of the past

One day, there were two monks, one old and one young, traveling between monasteries.

Along their way, the two monks encountered a river that they would have to cross. The water level was high, and there was no way to cross without getting wet.

At the riverbank, there was also an elderly woman sitting on the bank waiting to cross.

Without hesitation, the older of the two monks picked up the woman, placed her on his shoulders, and crossed the river. On the other side of the river, he put the woman down and continued on his way.

As the two monks continued on their way, the younger began to stew in silence, thinking about the events that had transpired.

Finally, his anger came to a boiling point, and he angrily asked the older monk, “We are not allowed to look at women, and yet you carried that woman!”

“Which woman?”, the older monk replied.

“The one at the river crossing”, snapped the younger monk.

With that, the elder monk replied, “I set that woman down long ago, why are you still carrying her around?”

Why are you still carrying this?

Think of something that bothers you. Something that you’ve been hanging on to for a long time.

Maybe it’s something one of your friends did to you long ago in high school that you just can’t forgive them for.

Maybe you were hoping for acknowledgment on your birthday and a family member forgot.

Or maybe you’re spouse upset you with their words or actions recently.

The point is to think of something that you’ve been holding on to, a grudge, the longer it’s been there the better.

Now, ask yourself, why do I still hold on to this?

The person in question, might not even know that you’re holding a grudge against them.

They may have never known that what they did upset you, and yet all this time you’ve been harboring anger towards them.

You think that by holding on to the grudge, you are, as they say, “getting them back”.

In reality, the only person you’re harming is yourself.

Practice forgiveness

Letting go of grudges is an act of forgiveness.

Forgiveness is hard. It means acknowledging when someone did something to hurt you and choosing to not hold it against them.

It is a decision to let go of hurt, anger, or resentment.

We think that forgiveness is about the other person, but oftentimes it can just be forgiveness for ourselves.

In the above examples, we see how holding on to grudges does nothing to punish the person who transgressed against us, but just causes our own emotional turmoil, for years and years.

By choosing to forgive you free yourself of the burden of hanging on to your anger.

Sure, you’re forgiving the other person, but you’re freeing yourself in the process.

First, is acknowledging the grudges you’ve been holding on to for a long time.

Second, is realizing that holding grudges does nothing, but put an emotional burden on yourself.

Thirdly, is when realizing that letting go of your grudges is true freedom.

The elder monk picked the woman up, crossed the river, and set the woman back down. He then proceeded on his way, leaving the entire situation and thoughts of the situation there at that moment.

The younger monk chose to hold on to the thoughts of that moment. Harboring anger and resentment along the way.

We can choose to carry our anger or not. We can choose to hold grudges or not.

When we choose to do so, we harm only ourselves.

When we choose to let it go, we unburden ourselves, freeing ourselves from the weight of these feelings.

The choice is yours, hang on to your anger or let it go. Choose what you will, but stop putting the blame on someone else.

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