What You’ll Learn About Friendship As You Grow
What we learn as time goes on
If there’s anything that’s been difficult to unlearn it’s that not everyone will want to be your friend. If you’ve grown up as a people pleaser, you’ll find yourself struggling a little bit to come to terms with this discovery.
It isn’t to say you can’t have an abundance of friends but it does make you realize that quality over quantity is something that applies to nearly all aspects of life.
Lesson # 1: Just because someone isn’t there all the time doesn’t mean they’re not a good friend.
Everyone has their own respective lives and that’s okay. What proves the test of a genuine friendship is if they reach out every once in a while. It’s also if they’re there for you in times when you reach out to them and vice versa.
Lesson # 2: Sad to say but more often than not, friendships that happen at work very seldom translate outside of work.
Some friendships do last outside of work but it’s very far and few in between. Figure out where your boundaries stand and go out from there, if you don’t it’ll be hard to know what you’re okay with.
Lesson # 3: ALWAYS be careful (and this applies to family in some cases too) when having a friend work in a business setting.
We love our friends, we trust them but including them in a business or professional setting usually does more harm than good. In my personal experience, I did work for a friend only for them to completely disappear on me when it came to compensating me for the work I did. It sucks but the biggest way to ruin a relationship is to add a monetary value to it.
Lesson # 4: Friendships change because priorities change
There’s nothing wrong with that but depending on where we are with our lives, we want people who can share those common experiences. Usually when those changes happen, people decide whether or not they find it wise to invest or not.
Lesson # 5: It’s difficult in adulthood to make friends because we’re stuck to our comfort zone
When we’re younger, we don’t care how we make friends. Be it going to school, meeting up at clubs, or in any social setting. Depending on how much a person makes an effort to meet people in a social setting they’re comfortable is all the difference it takes to make new friends.
Most are content with their friendships from their formed friendships, spouse/significant other and families.
From what I’ve observed outside of school, college, work or religious gatherings, the next walk of life where people tend to make friends is usually while traveling or simply due to having kids and befriending other parents.
Lesson # 6: We decide how we let others treat us.
When we’re younger, we try to keep the peace for the sake of friendship. In adulthood, because time is a valuable asset, we need to have mature conversations that may be uncomfortable at times. The more truthful you are about how you feel (there’s a difference between being tactful though!), the more friendships will prosper.
Friendships where we help each other grow is what helps us become better people.
Ultimately, friendships in adulthood can be just as light hearted as they were when we were younger, but we decide what we want in our lives or not.
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