HUMOR
What You Said and How My Anxiety Blew It Up: Non-Binary Edition
What you said: “Woo! Girls night!!” My anxiety: “You have no friends.”
By Emily Knapp and Cassie Soliday
What You Said: They just decided they weren’t a girl anymore.
My Anxiety: So you woke up one day and POOF! You became a They! And I guess everyone has to deal with it now.
What I Wish You Said: They never felt like they fit into society’s gender binary and finally have the words to describe the truest version of themself.
What You Said: Omg! My bad! I used the wrong pronouns AGAIN! Thanks for reminding me. This is so hard for me.
My Anxiety: Your existence is a burden to everyone.
What I Wish You Said: I’m sorry. I promise I’ll do better so you don’t have to do the emotional labor of correcting me every time I forget.
What You Said: Woo!!!! Girls night!!!!
My Anxiety: You have no friends.
What I Wish You Said: Woo!!! Friends night!!!
What You Said: She’s great!
My Anxiety: You’re only great if you present as a girl. Are we sure non-binary is a real thing?
What I Wish You Said: They’re great!
What You Said: So you’re trans then? Are you gonna transition? Can I help you pick out a new name?! I’m great at naming pets.
My Anxiety: Did you hear that? You’re an animal.
What I Wish You Said: Gender is super expansive. I would love to hear what being non-binary means to you.
What You Said: What does your coming out mean for me?
My Anxiety: It’d be easier if you could just continue masking as a woman. Can’t you see how hard this is for other people? So selfish.
What I Wish You Said: I’m so happy you trusted me enough to open up about your journey. While this will be an adjustment, I will do my best to validate and support you in any way I can.
What You Said: What?! But we slept together. Does that mean I’m gay?
My Anxiety: You might be great at sex, but you’ll never get any again if you don’t stop talking about being nonbinary.
What I Wish You Said: Wow! We slept together and it was amazing. That must mean I’m pansexual! Look at me. I’m coming out pan! Yay!
What You Said: I think NB/Trans/GNC issues are important, but I worry we are taking away focus from women’s stories and struggles.
My Anxiety: There’s no way you have as many struggles as your female friends. You’re not even part of the binary, so how can you be oppressed? Just walk out the door and drown yourself in the sea.
What I Wish You Said: We are on the same side and I am frustrated by how both of us are treated by society. Let’s fight the patriarchy together!
What You Said: You’re non-binary? That’s great! I’m so glad you’re figuring out who you truly are!
My Anxiety: Oh… Thank you!