What Writing Means To Me: A Conversation With Those Who Have Done It Longer

May 1st Writing Challenge

It is always difficult to declare yourself an expert. We often look to the experts for advice before we rely on our own experience. What we often forget is the value in learning along the way. In this discussion with authors I respect and admire, I came to realize that my own experience deserves the same merit and praise. Don’t forget the value of your own story.

William Faulkner said, “Don’t be a writer, be writing.”

Well, Mr. Faulkner, ain’t that the truth. The first step to becoming the writer you want to be is, believe it or not, writing. I have definitely learned this the hard way. I walked around for years thinking, I want to write. I need to write. When I finally had the time and energy to make writing an every day activity, I feel like I unlocked something I had shut off from the rest of the world or set down the heavy load I had been lugging around. To say it is a relief, doesn’t even cover it. Freeing my thoughts and letting them out onto the world has been absolutely liberating.

Pablo Picasso said, “Learn the rules like a pro, so you can break them like an artist.”

Yes, Pablo, Yes!!!! I love language. I love the rules of language and I love breaking them. When you can break the rules you took so long to learn, you feel like an expert. You are aware you are doing it. You know it is not right but you know it is right for you at this moment. It’s like running a red light or being late for work and not getting caught.

Language is beautiful. To truly embrace it, you need to explore beyond the posted signs and parameters placed upon you. You need to test the limits and stretch the rules. You need to take risks and to wander beyond the space given to you. To truly take ownership of your thoughts, you need to write them your way. This takes courage.

F. Scott Fitzgerald said, “All good writing is swimming under water and holding your breath.”

Yes, it is. Think about when you sit down with an idea. You know what you want to say but you can’t be sure exactly how you’ll say it until the words escape your fingertips and land on the page. Then, once you have freed them, you can take a deep breath, and spin them into exactly what you want them to be, shuffle them around, build on your idea, take some words away, make them pretty or make them work.

Ernest Hemingway said, “As a writer you should not judge, you should understand.”

I believe that it is my reading and writing that allows me to look at situations from all perspectives. Even when I dislike a person or their behavior, I can usually grasp why or how they became this way. I can roll around in their thinking and shed some light on the whys. I can respect their journey even when I can’t justify their behavior. I usually, then, file them accordingly.

Anne Rice said, “To write something, you have to risk making a fool of yourself.”

I think it took making it to middle age for me to realize that it really doesn’t matter what others think. I am who I am and I got this way my own way. I am my journey. I am my successes and my failures. I couldn’t do any of it right, if I hadn’t (at least once) done all of it wrong. I am not saying that every word I put to paper is my truth. It is my truth at that moment. It is what I believe at that time. I might not even agree with myself later in the day. Don’t take yourself so seriously that you can’t find something to laugh at or something to fix. You can’t be the butt of any joke, if, you too, see the humor.

Gloria Steinem said, “”Writing is the only thing that, when I do it, I don’t feel I should be doing something else.”

I can tell you that if I am cleaning the kitchen, cooking dinner, in meetings or creating lesson plans, I have wished I was writing. Never when I was writing, have I wished there was a meeting to join, a lesson to plan, a meal to cook, or a kitchen to clean. Yes, when I am writing there are few places I’d rather be. I attribute this to the fact that my mind allows me to travel anywhere I’d like to go in writing.

Harper Lee said, “The book to read is not the one that thinks for you but the one which makes you think.”

Something started you thinking. Something led you to sharing this story. When you can offer your readers the same gift, you have come full circle. When your story stays with someone after they have turned away from your words, you are a successful writer…and they are successful readers.

Margaret Atwood said, “If I waited for perfection, I would never write a word.”

I know, Sister. I have tried that. It’s never too late to write and, more importantly, to live.

Eudora Welty said, “Wherever you go, you meet part of your story.”

There are stories everywhere. I gather. I gather dialogue and ideas wherever I go. I keep notes in my phone and in notebooks. The world is compiled of stories that are there for the taking.

Ann Patchett said, “Writing is a job, a talent, but it’s also the place to go in your head. It is the imaginary friend you drink your tea with in the afternoon.”

Sometimes you are your own best friend. Sometimes it is quieter and more peaceful to be alone with your thoughts than to be in a room full of comrades. Sometimes you need to build on your ideas, dissect your thoughts, or plot a plan before you can talk about it with anyone. Creating the time and space to do this is the best gift you could ever give yourself.

Anaïs Nin said, “We write to taste life twice, in the moment and in retrospect.”

I think at this stage of my life, I have more to remember than I do to experience. Although, I know, as I write this, that I will never stop experiencing new things. Memoir writing to me is about exposing your experience from your perspective. How something happened for you is not always as someone else experienced it.

I know that my childhood was different than my siblings’ childhoods. This was honestly hard for me to grasp when I first realized it. It’s all about perspective. It’s all about individual thoughts, feelings, and experiences. You will never get the same description of a car accident or a party. People see things through different lenses. The stories I share are my versions and it can be both terrifying and intriguing to think that there are several different versions of the same story.

Annie Proulx said, “You should write because you love the shape of stories and sentences and the creation of different words on a page.”

I am truly empowered when I see my words populate a page. I feel free when I let them escape my thoughts. I feel brave for letting them go. I am proud when I see readers’ responses. When my stories take shape and I see the shape that every sentence or paragraph takes, I gain strength. I manipulate the words and string them with punctuation. What’s not to love? It’s a beautiful experience.

Maya Angelou said, “There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.”

And, she knows why that caged bird sings. Spill it. Write it. Free it. Don’t carry around what’s heavy. Set it free. Let it out. Gift your story to those who may need it. When you let your story go, you unburden yourself. Set your story, and yourself, free.