Summary

The author embarks on a journey of self-discovery and emotional decluttering after being inspired by a flyer asking, "What Would You Like to Let Go of?"

Abstract

A year after moving back into her shared flat with her ex-husband, the author finds a flyer with a profound question that prompts her to evaluate what she needs to release from her life. This introspection leads to a significant decluttering of her physical space, which she realizes is a reflection of her inner emotional state. The process involves not just discarding material possessions but also confronting and letting go of unhealthy relationships, habits, and emotions, particularly guilt. The author describes a transformative experience where she uses a fire ritual to release past traumas and make space for new beginnings, emphasizing the interconnectedness of our inner and outer worlds.

Opinions

The author believes in the symbolic and practical significance of decluttering one's physical space to achieve emotional clarity.
She suggests that our possessions can be anchors to past emotions and traumas, and letting go of them can be liberating.
The author values the role of friends in the process of self-reflection and growth, as evidenced by her sharing of the question and the subsequent insights.
She emphasizes the importance of rituals, like the fire ritual, in processing and releasing emotional baggage.
The author acknowledges that the journey of letting go is ongoing and encourages others to consider what they might need to release from their own lives.

What Would You Like to Let Go of?

The question that launched me on a journey to less

The question came to me exactly a year ago, written on the front of a flyer left behind in my gym locker room. I immediately gravitated towards it and picked it up. Staring at those words, I felt as if the universe was trying to tell me something important. I slid the flyer in my pocket, unaware of the significance this small event would have.

At the time, it was also exactly one year after I’d moved back into what used to be mine and my ex-husband’s shared flat. We’d had a messy end to an even messier relationship, and it was crucial for me to make my space my own. Over that year, I’d rearranged and organized multiple times, but it never felt finished, and still, tokens from my past were lurking in every corner. I knew I had more work to do.

The new moon was just around the corner and I decided to make the question my mantra for the next few days and proceeded to send it to a handful of friends to hear what they would like to let go of.

What did I want to let go of?

Many things came up, from piles of unused clothes, books, records, rogue kitchen equipment, and half the things in my basement, as well as a couple of unhealthy relationships and habits. I was ready to start another round of decluttering.

Then, I got a response back from a close friend:

—I think it’s an obvious answer for you—your guilt!

—Wait, what?

The audacity—how dare he? Besides, I didn’t have guilt. Or did I?

My friend’s comment unleashed an avalanche, and the dots started connecting. It felt like when you’ve been staring at an optical illusion for ages, when suddenly, in the blink of an eye, you see it so clearly that it’s absurd to you that you didn’t see it earlier. Now, you can’t unsee, no matter how much you squint or change focus.

Our inner worlds are reflected in our outer worlds, and vice versa

The connection between my inner and outer world became tangible to me: It became clear that objects I was clinging to, storage boxes with unknown contents, sentimental knick-knacks, and un-filed paperwork were directly linked to unprocessed and unhealthy emotions, trauma and feelings.

Propelled by my newfound realization, I systematically went through all of my belongings. While before, it had taken me hours to fill a single bag to take to the second-hand store, I was unstoppable.

Release Fiercely

Seeing the clear connection between my emotional and physical baggage, it became effortless to let go, as if I had activated a previously undiscovered release-button.

Out went bags and boxes, and I’m sure hundreds of kilos, of angst, guilt, fear, self-doubt, and disappointment. For each item leaving my doorstep, my shoulders felt a tad lighter. For each physical object that I let go, or put in order, something similar happened internally.

Release with ease

Some objects and emotions were harder to offload. Many of my things, especially nostalgic and personal objects, couldn’t simply go in the trash, recycling or donation bin. Some had to find new owners—others had to burn.

Yes, you heard me. I held a late-night fire ritual with my friend to gently release trauma and memories held onto from past relationships. As cards with best-wishes for my marriage went up in flame against the starry night sky, my guilt for ‘not making it’, of letting others down, and of being a disappointment, incinerated with them. Trauma turned to cinder and hitchhiked on the ashy flakes of relics to disperse into the crisp autumn sky.

Throughout this process—one that is still ongoing—the words, I need to create space, played on repeat in my head. I realized that I’d been suffocating under the weight of my excess baggage, and I needed to breathe. I needed to create space for something new, and they weren't physical, but rather a new way of living.

On this new moon in Scorpio, a whole year later, while much has changed, there’s still far to go. I, therefore, bring back the question, and ask you as well; what would you like to let go of?