What would my ideal adult do?

One child psychologist in her stories told why children ask their parents to read them the same fairy tale for quite a long time (a year, for example).

Poor mothers cannot understand why their beloved child chooses the SAME fairy tale all the time (we have already read it 100 times and know it by heart!!!), they silently hang themselves, but stoically continue to carry their parental cross and read their beloved book. Where to go?

PS By the way, when I was 6 years old I liked “Song of the Prophetic Oleg”. I even slightly altered it in my own way: “How the prophetic Oksan now climbs to take revenge on the foolish Khazars…”

THE CHILD IS NOT A FOOL

He chooses the same fairy tale because for him it is SAFE (he knows how everything will develop and how it will end) and THERAPEUTIC (using the example of the hero, he models some of his life situations and plays them out — what he can do to get one or another result).

ADULTS DO THE SAME

Each of us has our favorite movie (and maybe someone even has a favorite book), where the main character has a problem similar to ours. It’s not in vain that half the country is staring at it: “Moscow doesn’t believe in tears” (and it’s not just about good actors and excellent direction, believe me).

PPS Let me remind you that a film is interesting for the viewer only when the main character goes through the so-called “hero’s arc.”

What does it mean?

He has a certain problem at the very beginning, which he has been going around with for quite some time. Then life gives him some proposed circumstances that allow him to solve this very problem. The hero FINALLY accepts the challenge, solves his seemingly insoluble problem (he will definitely be given some other tools to solve — people, money, weapons, a sage, a gray wolf, a psychotherapist) and voila, life is good. That’s the end of the fairy tale, and whoever listened, well done.

While watching a film, we try to write off the actions, character, and behavior of the hero (heroine) in order to solve OUR pressing problem. From the series: “If he (she) succeeded, so can I.”

Only through the film you do this unconsciously, and I propose to add a little awareness to this action (to make sure it works).

PROBLEM SOLVING EXERCISE

Remember your favorite character (from a book or movie). What is he like?! Write three characteristics of it. What do you like most about it? Record your thoughts on paper so as not to lose or forget.

Now look through the eyes of your favorite hero at your problem. What would he say? How would you solve it? Who would you turn to for help (who in your life can act as such a helper)?

PPPS Honestly, solving your problem on behalf of someone is much easier than doing it yourself. That’s why we so easily give advice left and right to everyone when someone has problems, but when we ourselves are faced with a similar situation, we end up in a mess.

If you resort to this exercise when solving problems, you will ultimately achieve the fact that you integrate the image of your hero into yourself and will no longer be able to solve life’s problems on his behalf, but on your own. The hero can be changed!!!