What Would Have Happened If I Quit Drinking Sooner?
Pondering the life I would have had if I had chosen a different path
I started drinking somewhere around 15–16 years old and didn’t stop until I was 34. Did I binge every single weekend for all those years?
Yeah, pretty much. The only time I quit for longer than a few days was if I was on an antibiotic. Even then, I’d be counting down the days until that 10-day mark came and I could consume my favorite thing in the whole world.
It was usually a huge deal if I made it through the workweek without a drink. That was super rare though. I usually couldn’t get past a Tuesday night without a binge drinking session.
I don’t dwell and obsess much over the past. I can’t, or I’d be in an endless shame and despair loop that I wouldn’t be able to get out of.
But I do sometimes wonder what kinds of things I would have accomplished by now, had I cut my drinking years in half. If I quit drinking at year 9 instead of 18, I would have only been 25 years old.
While I can only speculate, I have a pretty good idea of what I would have done if I quit drinking sooner than I actually did.
Spent more time doing what I loved
I would have left my toxic relationship sooner. When I was 23, I got back with my high school sweetheart. I knew better, but apparently, I needed a reminder of why he was not the one for me.
It took me 6 years until I would leave him. I said no to a lot of fun things during those times just to avoid fighting with him. I stopped doing all the things I loved, like traveling, hanging out with friends, and living in a city that offered more opportunities.
Instead, I lived in a mouse-infested trailer in the middle of nowhere while he smoked meth. Ah… the dream life.
I was so gaslit, that one time I found physical evidence of the tinfoil and meth residue left behind (called ‘smoking a boat’), and he still convinced me that it wasn’t his.
While staring at the drug paraphernalia in my hand, I actually believed him when he told me I was crazy for thinking he was smoking meth.
I drank a lot then — it was the only way I knew how to cope. Had I quit drinking at 25 years old, I think I would have seen clearly that I did not deserve how I was being treated and what I was settling for.
I could have 4 years of my 20s back. How fun would that be?
Fatter Wallet
My hometown didn’t have very many job opportunities. I settled for jobs that I was overqualified for and happily accepted $10 per hour (with a Bachelor’s Degree), so I could at least have gas and groceries.
Not much has changed in my hometown regarding the employment situation.
Had I quit drinking sooner, I would have left town at 25 and started making better money. This is just a fact, as I did exactly that when I finally left at 29.
I would have taken more trips and paid off my debt sooner. Not to mention, the money saved by not buying alcohol. 9 years of drinking money would have probably made a huge dent in my student loans.
Physical Health
I am learning to love my body, no matter the size. But, let’s just be honest here — drinking adds unwanted weight. It has a lot of sugar in it. Yes, even your red wine and your light beers. There’s sugar and empty calories in all of it.
Not to mention the 2 AM binge sesh that your drunken mind convinces you is the best idea in the entire world. While you’re creating culinary masterpieces from Ramen noodles and Cheetos, your waistline isn’t thanking you.
My 25-year-old metabolism was faster and I’m sure I would have been much more fit, resulting in not only better health but more confidence.
We all know that so many things change once you cut out the booze. You become a different person — a better one in my opinion. One who is more self-aware. One who has numerous hobbies and is a good friend/sibling/child/spouse.
We can’t look back on all the things we could have accomplished had we not spent so much time imbibing. Well, we can, but don’t stay there too long. There’s too much life to live right now. We can only live day to day, one day at a time.
I look back on my life with gratitude and sometimes a little bit of embarrassment. But, my lessons have been learned and each day I stay sober, the more I learn about who I really am.
I wrote this walk down memory lane, not to dwell on the past, but to hopefully inspire you to quit drinking sooner rather than later. The only thing I regret about quitting drinking is that I didn’t do it sooner.
