What To Do When Your Reality Stops Being Realistic

You Really Have Only One Choice

What do you do when years of your reality stop being realistic? Well, you change your reality, of course. Right now you’re probably (most likely) swearing under your breath (or shouting curse words at the screen) that it’s a hell of a lot easier said than done.

You’re right. It is.

For most of us, I dare say all of us, our realities are heavily steeped in routines and ritualistic habits. In order to change our reality, we discover we need to break almost every one of those habits and create new ones to help shape our perceptions of a new reality.

Some of us have been performing these habits, these ritualistic routines for so long they’ve become an ingrained part of our psyche. Like a comfortable sweater, or a well-worn pair of pants (my choice is relaxed fit) stepping away from these habits will more than likely create unbearable anxiety and stress.

We often feel as if we’d perish without all the habits which have constructed our reality. But here’s where it gets even more paradoxical.

For a lot of us, the current reality we often experience has become completely unrealistic. It’s too hard, is always taking us away from our happy space, makes us feel miserable, and frustrates the hell out of us.

Almost daily. What’s strange is that our current reality didn’t always seem as completely unrealistic as it somehow does now.

At one point we loved our current reality. We were all giddy with excitement as we stared into the future and dreamed of the things we would accomplish and the lofty goals we would achieve.

And we worked, and we toiled and we developed good habits and positive routines which we knew would support and sustain this reality of ours.

For years we lived our reality dreaming about the time we’d one day break the glass ceiling and thrive. All around us, we saw others achieving that same reality and at first, all it did was make us want to work harder, longer, and even hopefully smarter.

It will never get easier. Life never gets easier, it just gets shorter.

But while others were changing their realities and taking their lifestyles higher and higher, our reality seemed to get more unrealistic each day. And our reality continued to do so until one day it seemed as if that which we’d dreamed of so many years was now completely unreachable, utterly unrealistic.

So now, we understand we’re toeing the line of another decision point in our lives. We’re at a point where we feel as if it’s time to decide whether the goals and dreams we had so many years ago are realistically obtainable.

Do we make a change?

The change to a different reality will be just as hard and difficult as the first reality we chose. It will never get easier. Life never gets easier, it just gets shorter.

Unfortunately, for some such as I, the fuse on my powder keg of life is burning short. Today I realized the last two years of my life spent chasing a reality has seemed to be an unrealistic endeavor.

It may be time for me to change.

Now, the results which I have ignored for so long continue to tell me it may be time for a change. It’s possibly time to level-set my expectations against a new reality.

Personally, the bad part of developing such strong habits and routines when chasing my reality is there is a large part of me that doesn’t want to break these habits and routines. There is even a larger part of me that still believes I can turn this unrealistic reality into real life.

But being the results-driven person I am, I only have to look at my efforts for the last two years to see my expectations aren’t matching the unrealistic results playing out each day.

At the beginning and all the way through yesterday, my perceived reality has at all times seemed like an unrealistic goal forever out of reach. But I had the burning desire to make it happen.

Now, the results which I have ignored for so long continue to tell me it may be time for a change. It’s possibly time to level-set my expectations against a new reality.

The problem from my perspective is I don’t know what that reality is or will be. I’ve spent the better part of forty years trying to exist in this reality of mine. It’s been forty years of writing stories with the last two here pounding out something each day.

Maybe it’s just me having a bad morning. Perhaps I’m just feeling sorry for myself. I’m pretty certain right now I’m not taking the advice I’ve offered the writing community over and again about staying the course and continuing to move forward.

I’m human, sue me.

I’ve only got so much living left to do, and I wonder if this is how I want to die, with my fingers on the keyboard desperately trying to get the one thought, the one story out that will put my career on the track.

I never was aiming for stardom or fame, I never wanted great wealth and riches. I just wanted a modest income to pay my even more modest bills.

Perhaps I started far too late, learning only now from the results I’ve seen for the last two years, that my writing in the past hadn’t been very good, but I tricked myself into believing it was. I never was aiming for stardom or fame, I never wanted great wealth and riches. I just wanted a modest income to pay my even more modest bills.

Now, after two years I’ve learned the truth about myself and my talent. It’s good, just not good enough to be the reality I’d hoped it would be.

So where does that leave me? I really don’t know at the moment. I know how I’m feeling, but I’m not sure I have the courage to continue or the courage to shift gears and head off in another direction.

I haven’t experienced such tremendous polarization of emotions in such a long time it’s got me frozen in place wondering what the hell I’m going to do.

Whatever I do, I’m crossing my fingers. At this late stage in the game of life, if I do make the choice to change, I need to make sure I choose the right reality this time.

Thank You So Much For Reading

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