WHAT TO DO SERIES
What To Do When You Get Stood Up
Boneheads happen

“Whatever. I’ll just date myself.” Unknown
Have you ever been the victim of a no-show first date?
Sitting in the parking lot, I waffled between scanning incoming vehicles and attempting to read my book. According to my GPS, I was at the right address. I had sent a message warning that I would be late. Pre-Christmas nutbars were overcautiously driving 20km an hour on the slightly icy highways and I pulled in two minutes after the hour we had agreed upon.
The dude, who had sweated through a night shift ending only a couple of hours before our meeting, was due to arrive at any moment. I’d informed him about my gray van and lapis-hued jacket. Why hadn’t I thought to ask what type or color of vehicle he drove?
I had referee-ed my family, carved out a block of time in my schedule, and had driven an hour to meet. As I waited and watched the only automobiles passing by were ones zipping towards the nearby crowded hardware store. Even blasting 80s beats didn’t comatose my nerves.
After 21 minutes I texted a friend asking her whether I should continue crumbling the ozone by idling my van to stay warm. Or if I should wave the white flag and head out on my mission to find new running shoes.
“Leave,” she messaged back. “If he can’t text and he is late, not worth it.”
What to have
Preparations for such a disheartening situation are fairly simple. You really only require a juicy book or music and a Plan B.
On a side note, your book can be used as a super effective rate your date tool. Do their eyebrows lift higher than a kite when they see Sonya Renee Taylor’s mostly naked body adorning the cover? Do they squirm when spying Unf*ck Yourself tucked beside your coffee? Does the Bible cause them to cough out a Covid-like bark and hightail it in the opposite direction? Your reading material may prove to be a better judge of character than you are.
What to Do
Because I live in the arse-end of nowhere, my trips to towns where people drive cars rather than horses and buggies always involve a To-Do list. Get an oil change, spend my paycheque at Starbucks, empty Costco’s Cheerios section, fill up on sushi.
This handy agenda also means I have a Plan B for when Prince Charming is mysteriously stranded between the rinse and the wax cycle at the automatic car wash or has his penis attached to the lips of the woman he’d scheduled to meet the hour before me.
Before you get all Katniss Everdeen, though, be sure to give them the benefit of a doubt. Communicate. Don’t be afraid to ask why or to suggest they apologize. Maybe their feline friend really did have explosive diarrhea. Perhaps their great uncle’s funeral was re-scheduled for that morning and their excessive grief led to memory loss.
Or maybe they’re just a bonehead.
Remember that a prospect gone AWOL is in no way a reflection of you or your worthiness. Dating coach Alessandra Conti encourages us to
“just accept that sometimes it happens, but it’s hardly the end of the world”.
You can decide whether you’ll watch them grovel and accept their sincerest of sorry or if a no-show is a no-go.
Takeaways
Back-up plans are your best friend when it comes to dating. My absentee scoundrel may have tumbled into sleep on his couch but I still landed a sweet deal on cross-trainers, finished my Christmas shopping, and met my BFF for a late lunch.
And that probably turned out for the best. He may have stood me up but I didn’t. And I’m the greatest sidekick I’ve ever dated.
©Jennifer J. McDougall 2022





