What To Do When Life Sucks And We Go Nowhere

Try switching on our internal navigation — self-reflection

Imagine traveling in a plane or boat without any navigation equipment, we are not going anywhere and may crash and burn! This was exactly how I lived for years. Weeks after weeks, and years after years were the same old same old. It was unproductive, without purpose and downright boring.

Until at one point the pain was too much to bear with the work stress, depression, mounting debts and living paycheck by paycheck, I sought help and changed.

To make sure I did not fall back into that pit again, I made regular self-reflection my priority. This habit became my internal navigation system.

This is how:

1. Over the weekend, mainly on Sunday, I allow thirty minutes to:

· Think of five things/people that I am grateful for.

· Check where I am at with my goals.

· What are the key things that I learned from the past week?

· What are the main items on next week’s planner?

· Who am I going to connect with next week?

2. During the day, I would do a reminder of my to-do list first thing in the morning (usually ten minutes) and a reflection (fifteen minutes) before I go to bed.

This is a summary of how it went last week.

Last Sunday morning’s reflection:

· I was grateful that my brother and sister-in-law visited from Sydney, Australia, to see my family, and my wife at the stroke rehab facility; my wife is still with me; the support that we received from families, friends, work team, church and government; a roof over my head, and a vehicle to get to places; and my colonoscopy result was clear from cancer.

· I still have a bit to catch up with my spiritual, relational, health, and vocational goals.

· I learned that stress and anxiety towards my wife’s health contributed to my chronic bowel pain and I am learning to trust and let go of what I do not have control of.

· I checked my weekly planner for the tasks and the list of the people I scheduled to contact.

I was ready for a new week.

Weekday reminder and reflection (last Thursday):

My wife was admitted to the hospital on Tuesday. She felt better but not quite over the hill yet. In the morning, I reminded myself to trust and focus on the task on my hands. We had a scheduled family meeting with the multidisciplinary teams to discuss how we could improve my wife’s quality of life while recovering in the stroke rehab facility. So it was a big day ahead on top of my work tasks and I finished the day visiting my wife at the hospital.

At night, I reflected on how the family meeting went well and was productive. There was hope that my wife would have better care. I was also pleased to see her regain her energy. I fed her dinner and she managed to finish all the puree food, and she smiled. I have not seen her smile like this for weeks. I was grateful that her brother and sister-in-law visited. They teased my wife and made her laugh. It was a good day among all the challenges.

I slept well and had peace.

I was ready for Friday.

My life is nothing routine and I have a few things to juggle. With this daily morning reminder, brief evening reflection, and a proper reflection over the weekend, I find peace and different perspectives to tackle my challenges.

I am very grateful to have trusted families and friends and learned to let go of things that I don’t have control over.

We don’t need to learn from making all the mistakes, this article by Suzie Alexander shows us five profound wisdom in life.

When I feel like my life sucks, I refer to Leonard Tillerman’s journey for encouragement. He faced so many challenges and yet he chose to see things positively. You are an inspiration Leonard!