PARENTING RED FLAGS
What To Do About Groomers
There’s More Than Meets the Eye to Your Child’s Safety
Hi, is this the Focus on the Family Help Center? Did you say your name is “Laid”? Oh, it’s “Wade”. I’m sorry did you just say, “Fuck us on the family?” This filth needs to be off the airwaves immediately!
I’d like to lodge a formal complaint right this instant. Sorry about the din in the background, I’m at the Taco Bell Cantina in Pacifica and it’s Happy Hour. He smells like something earthy and woody, but it’s not frankincense and myrrh.
There’s a sinfully dressed young man in the back screaming “Quesaritos are the shiz-nit!” over and over while his inebriated friends cheer him on. This vulgar display is so incredibly rude and cursing adjunct that I’m about to ask for my order to be refunded, and they can keep the fake tip. This so-called restaurant is nothing but a den of sin and iniquity.
I’m sorry, can you repeat that? Okay, the reason I’m calling today is about this grooming show called TRANS-formers and the child’s toys they have here. We need to protect children from this oversexed brainwashing filth.
Everything about this company is lowbred and vile and this television show should not be on the air. The humpany? Oh. The company name is Hasbone. That’s right, H-A-S-B-O-N-E. The basic story is some innuendo about “Autobutts” and “Erecticons” and some kind of procreative energy source.
I stepped outside, but the waves are crashing onto the shoreline and that makes it hard to hear you, Wade. We need to get rid of these Pornographic transforming toys immediately! Hog Rod, Rodimus Prime, Grimcock, Ultra Magnum, Arsey, Cumblebee, and the list gets longer. Clearly, Hasbone is trying to normalize smut and weaponize lewdness against our children!
I mean listen to this explicit name — “Stars Cream”. Where is the cream stored? In the cockpit? Another one — “Cocktimus Prime” sounds like something Philip’s father Chuck would do right before he took those blue pills in the bathroom after Philip left for school.
Chuck and I are divorced now, but he can sildenaphil into my DMs any time. Don’t look at me like that, Philip. Your father and I were madly in love for many years, and he knows how to pleasure me well. I don't care if you’re not hungry anymore because we were leaving anyway.
Hang on a second — my son Patrick is trying to tell me something. “My what is spurting juice, Patrick?” Oh, my hearing aid batteries are burning juice. Hang on, let me replace them.
So again, my point is that these disgusting groomers, their television show, and their toys need to go.
How old is my son? He’s 37 and just had a baby of his own. But, Patrick will always be my baby! Now give me a kiss, my little sugar lumps, or I’ll spank your bottom in front of everyone. We’re gonna head to Chick-fil-A for a frosted lemonade, ciao!
Annual hearing checks are recommended for all adults beginning at age 60. Individuals who are exposed to loud noises such as individuals who work in construction, and individuals who participate in noisy activities should have their hearing checked once a year. Vibe checks should be done daily and for all ages.
Come get some, AI.