What the Hell Just Happened in That Tuk-Tuk
The moment I realized Bangkok’s tuk-tuk industry is bigger than I thought
Shark Bait
In July of 2023, I set off on a solo mission to backpack the entire country of Thailand and discover what this beautiful country is really like.
As I roamed Bangkok’s busy streets, awe-inspired by everything around me, I became walking shark bait for all the tuk-tuk drivers who make their living off visitors like myself.
To be honest, tuk-tuks are a blast and a pillar of the Bangkok experience.
With no real plan for my first day in Bangkok, I set off to explore the city and do some photography.
I typed ‘The Grand Palace’ into my phone, and began walking in the direction of the temples. As it soon became hot and humid, I began searching for shortcuts in my route.
Cutting through a quiet backstreet, I passed a tuk-tuk driver parked out on the corner under a shady tree.
He was leaning against his shiny tuk-tuk, having a smoke, and reading through a magazine as he noticed me walk by.
“Tuk tuk?” he called out.
I strolled on past him, waving back— “Thanks, I’m good!”
“Hey! Wait, hold on,” he said stashing away the magazine, “Where are you from?”
“Maui,” I told him “ I just flew in today.”
He proceeded to ask me questions about who I was and where I was going. Our talk was short-lived, as you could tell there was a pitch coming. After 15 seconds of small talk, he pulled out a map.
I told him I was planning to visit The Grand Palace, but he shrugged and said that was a bad idea. He claimed it to be overrated and too crowded, but he would still take me there if I wanted to go. But first….
But first, for the same price, we could check out three other spots along the way, and he’ll even wait for me outside of each stop.
The truth is when getting offered deals like that, why not? What do I have to lose?
I’m in.
The Map
I climbed into the white glittery back seat and set my backpack down by my feet.
The driver leaned back and passed me over his shoulder a paper map of the city, black and white, showing only the major streets and tourist attractions around Bangkok.
He then pulled out a sharpie, pulled off the cap, and began to circle a cartoon of a temple on my map.
“Here, my friend,” he says, “is the oldest temple in Bangkok. Not many people get to see it, but I’ll take you there first.”
Well, that sounds interesting. I nodded in agreement.
Next, he found his way to a cartoon of a Buddha. He circled the Buddha as he looked back up at me.
“Then, we go to the Giant Buddha,” he said, “It’s great for pictures.”
I could tell he noticed the camera around my shoulder at that point and was accustomed to reading people.
“Alright cool,” I agreed.
Next, he paused and pointed at a store cartoon just beside the Giant Buddha. He then asked me if I owned a good suit back home.
Taken off-guard, it took me a moment to respond.
“No, I pretty much live in swim-shorts.”
He quickly mentioned his friend had a big sale going on, today only, on tailored suits for men like myself.
He still had yet to realize, that I don’t wear suits.
I shook my head and waved off the store cartoon, “No. Thanks, I’m good. Just the temples would be great.”
He then carried his marker over to a cartoon of another Buddha and circled it.
“Reclining Buddha,” he said looking back up, “Beautiful temple. I’ll take you there next.”
There was another cartoon beside the Reclining Buddha, of a store. A moment of piercing eye contact passed as his marker grazed over it. He did not circle it and continued on.
Finally, he finished by offering to drop me off at my only originally requested destination, The Grand Palace, at the very end.
Unsure of what adventures were to come, I decided to see what his whole map operation was all about.
I handed him 200 Thai Baht, and we were off.
The Temple Was a Set-Up
As soon he stashed his cash away, we were full speed ahead.
Flying through the busy streets again, I enjoyed the sounds of laughter from the bars and the spicy smells of all the delicious street food as we passed by.
If the traffic stopped, we would make a sharp turn down a narrow alley and come back out the other side, dodging pedestrians all along the way.
Finally, we turned down a tall white alleyway and arrived at this mysterious open-squared plaza, with a temple right in the middle.
Buildings on each side shielded this temple from the street, and many would pass by without ever knowing it was even there.
‘This guy is legit’ I thought to myself.
Excited to see this hidden-away temple, I hopped out and grabbed my bag. He smiled and waved me onward, as he pulled out his magazine.
“I’ll be here,” he said lighting a smoke.
I went up the stairs, took my shoes off, and bowed before entering the temple. Taking in a few deep meditative breaths, I soaked in every small detail of this quiet temple. For a moment it was just myself, the temple, and a silence that felt to marry the two.
A moment later, an older Thai man took a bow and entered the temple. He was dressed in a slick blue suit, had a friendly smile, and seemed to be escaping on a short break from work. For a moment, we just nodded hello to each other, and carried on without speaking.
“Where are you from?” he finally asked with a smile.
“Maui,” I said. I could tell he had never heard of it.
“We’re a real small island in the middle of the Pacific.”
He may have never heard of it, but he was excited to become acquainted. We spoke for 15 minutes about life, spirituality, and our different countries. He was polite, well-spoken, and made me feel welcome in Bangkok.
He asked me if I wanted a picture of myself in the temple, and though it struck me as odd, I said, “Sure”.
He then snapped this photo, which I’m sorry to say I was under-dressed for. If you don’t know, there is a dress code within Thailand’s temples, and my tank top doesn’t quite cut it. So, sorry about that. We were off the beaten path by this point.
He hands me back my phone and I say “Thank you.”
“You must certainly have a map, don’t you?” he says gazing out the window. His body language shifted just a bit here, as I grew slightly suspicious.
“I have this,” I say pulling out the map.
As I open it up and he peers over it, he becomes enthralled to see where I’m heading next. The man looked up at me as if a light bulb had just ignited in his head.
“Do you have a nice suit?” he asks with a growing smile.
“This is my friend’s place,” he says pointing to the map, “and just for today, I know he’s having a special sale on tailored suits. You need to go there and see.”
It’s at this moment, that I got it.
He goes on to tell me how every man needs a good suit, and I would be crazy to not get one. He flicks his blazer out as to show it off while telling me he got his suit down there too.
I was disappointed by the turn in our seemingly authentic conversation and was shocked he was also in on this whole tuk-tuk operation.
“Khop Koon Krap,” I said as I thanked him on my way out, bowing out of the temple.
As I came down the stairs, my driver stashed away his magazine yet again and started up the ride.
I hopped in the back and we were off to the Giant Buddha.
Or so I thought…
I Got Smacked by a Monk
Flying through the streets of Bangkok yet again, I tried to brush off the weird encounter from back at the temple.
The Giant Buddha looked amazing, as I saw it from afar earlier that morning on my boat tour. I was excited to get there and check it out for myself.
Everything was going smoothly until my driver made a hard left turn down into another alleyway, punching the gas all the way through. Holding onto the bars in the back, I tried to grasp where the hell we were going.
A sharp left and quick right later, we pulled into an isolated parking lot, stopping directly in front of an all-glass storefront. Just like the last temple, this place was hidden off the main street. This was becoming a much bigger adventure than I expected.
As we rolled to a stop in the parking lot, a man dressed in a slick grey suit exited to store and approached us still sitting in the tuk-tuk.
“Yo! Dude, what is this?” I asked the driver, “I thought we were going to the Giant Buddha?”
He leaned back with a look of desperation in his eyes, “I’m sorry, I need you to go in there, just for a minute or two. Please.”
Taken off-guard by the whole situation, I was quickly approached by the well-dressed man, his hand already extended for a firm handshake.
“Hello sir, nice to meet you. Thanks for coming. Come inside please.” he immediately ushered toward me. I looked over at my driver as he gave me a wide-eyed plea as if to say ‘I need you to go in there’
Okay, let’s see where this goes.
Inside the store, everything was sectioned off into bold colors. All the red blazers in that corner, all the blue blazers in that one. It instantly felt just a little awkward inside.
“What are you looking for, sir?” he asked.
“Honestly, I’m not looking for anything. It’s a very nice store though.”
“Please, come back this way,” he suggested pointing towards a small table covered in magazines, “I’ll show you what we have in case you like anything.”
Again, I gazed over at my driver, who continued to watch me with wide-telling eyes. They pleaded, ‘keep going.’
I sat on the couch, belligerently uncomfortable, and crossed my arms waiting for him to to begin his pitch. He began to scatter some old magazines around the table, probably from the late 90’s, of very generic men wearing suits. Even the photos in the magazines had a weird vibe to them.
He opened a magazine and flipped through a few pages before pointing to an image of a black man wearing an all-blue suit.
“This one, this one would be good for you,” he said, “ and today we’re doing half off. So that means, normally you would pay...this much.”
He typed “600” into a calculator, and turned it around for me to see.
He dared not say the number out loud.
“For you- today I can do this price.”
He then nervously typed “300” into the calculator, and turned it around for me to see.
I stared blankly at the calculator for a moment.
It was at this moment, I began asking myself how the hell I got in this situation.
I could feel the hoovering eyes and ears of everyone in the back of the store, all waiting for my response.
“Thank you,” I said “I appreciate you showing me around, but I’m just not looking to buy a suit today. I’ll take a business card if you have one.”
In a panic, he shot up from the couch and rushed to his desk. He came back offering me a beer if I’d stay and keep browsing his suit collection.
He handed me an ice-cold Chang, and I once again thought, ‘You know what…why not?’
I went on to drink my free beer in the store while pretending to browse a few blazers. He reluctantly handed me a business card, as I exited the store heading back to the tuk-tuk.
Returning to my tuk-tuk, I told the driver I didn’t want any more detours.
“Please just take me to the Grand Palace — thank you.”
He continued to apologize for the tailor shop incident. He promised to take me to the Giant Buddha and Reclining Buddha without any further detours.
We carried on to the Giant Buddha, where this time I had an appropriate shirt on.
Exploring the Giant Buddha and its beautiful waterfront temple was an amazing experience. The newly built Buddha was massive and awe-inspiring, while the riverside temple was stunning.
I enjoyed the temple’s many shrines and eventually found my way over to the edge of the temple facing the Chao Phraya River. Beside the flowing river, I came across two monks sitting in chairs studying my approach.
I bowed to both monks and one of them then offered to give me a blessing. I knelt on my knees as the monk passed a wet brush over my shoulders, whispering a blessing.
Suddenly, he pointed to my Buddhist tattoo on my forearm and gave me a scolding look. The monk then slapped my arm and shook his finger at me.
I’m not sure if anyone’s truly mentally prepared to be slapped by an elderly Buddhist monk, but I’m glad I can cross that one off the list for now.
I enjoyed exploring the Giant Buddha and everything began to feel a bit more going as planned.
By temple, you mean jewelry shop?
I exited the temple as my driver stashed away his magazine and fired the tuk-tuk.
By this point I was hungry, and the sweet smell of all the street food became all I could think about.
Watching all the faces pass by as we flew down the street, we suddenly turned onto the sidewalk and parked right in front of a beautiful glass storefront. Outside was a photo of a woman flaunting a necklace, probably taken in the late 90s/early 2000s.
Before I can even say a word, the driver hops out and comes around to the back. He quietly begged me to go inside and take a look around for a minute or two. As strange as this entire operation was coming to be, he seemed to really need my help.
The truth is I had no idea where I was, and at that point, my phone was completely dead. I didn’t want to hire another tuk-tuk driver and possibly deal with the same thing all over again.
Plus, what do I know? This is my first day here.
I went inside and allowed myself to be awkwardly pitched jewelry I had no intention of buying. After a few minutes of looking around, I left.
Exiting the shop, my tuk-tuk driver looked as happy as could be. He fired up the ignition with a big grin on his face. He did his part, and I was finally off to Wat Pho, home of the Reclining Buddha.
This temple was amazing, and the highlight of my day. I finally got to take some photos after all.
Mission Successful
I eventually made it to my final destination, The Grand Palace.
For just 200 THB, I saw not only the Grand Palace but three other temples as well. It can be quite an adventure taking a tuk-tuk around Bangkok, especially if you’re open to their wacky offers along the way.
I saw a side of Thailand I wasn’t expecting, which is exactly what I came here to do.
Thus, I am thankful for the experience.
I can zoom out and appreciate that man and his network of families and businesses, doing whatever it takes to support their local economy.
Still, to this day I wonder, ‘What the hell just happened in that tuk-tuk?’
A Note From the Author
Thanks for reading along!
If you‘re planning an upcoming trip to Thailand, check out my FULL guide:
Thanks for reading & stay safe out there!
Cheers
Jason
Follow me on IG!: @thecurious.nomad
