What Should we be Grateful For?

There’s usually someone worse off than yourself

I’ve never seen anyone eat chicken the way my Indonesian wife does. The bones are picked clean. She eats the crunchy white cartilage stuff between the bones too. Everything edible is eaten, and nothing goes to waste. I’d never seen anyone eat the head or feet of a chicken until I met her. You wouldn’t realise how many tiny bones are in a chicken’s head until you’ve seen someone suck them clean.

To me, it’s gross. Imagine what conditions that chicken had been walking around in. Hearing my wife’s slurping sounds is equally as rank.

Until I get over myself and my western conditioning and understand that she’s simply enjoying her food-this way of eating is ingrained in my wife.

You see, my wife comes from an impoverished village upbringing. She had none of the luxuries I take for granted every day, like running water or even a soft bed.

In my wife’s childhood, food in poor communities like hers was hard to come by. It wasn’t unusual to have only rice to eat, sometimes with sambal — a spicy paste made from chilli and garlic. As a child, my wife would often argue with her grandmother about adding msg in the sambal to make it tastier.

It was (and still is) normal in some places in Indonesia to give babies the water from washing rice as a milk substitute. It has the same milky consistency, so mothers with no money for formula provide this instead. Obviously, and incredibly sadly, this leads to the malnourishment and stunting of children.

Food takes high importance in Indonesia. Whoever is cooking — usually the household women — spend a considerable amount of time preparing fresh food each day. Sometimes it might be simply stir-fried vegetables, perhaps with tahu or tempe mixed. Other days, it might be a little more laborious.

It’s scarce for any food to be thrown away, even though most houses in the kampungs are without basic refrigeration. Whatever prepared food is uneaten will be covered and left on the kitchen table, finished off the next day. Nothing lasts long enough to spoil. The household cat will get the bones to crack open and enjoy.

My wife will only take on her plate as much as she thinks she might want, perhaps even a little less. If she’s still hungry after finishing, there’s always a chance to have a little more. There’s no gluttonous overloading.

This is a contrast to the wastefulness of western society. I’ve seen countless people loading up their plates, with eyes bigger than their stomachs, only to leave half untouched and destined for the bin.

This doesn’t only happen in the restaurant business. It’s happening at your family functions, the lunchtime birthday party for your grandmother. That uncle carrying a little extra around his waist always seems to take an extra scoop when he doesn’t need it.

It’s a trademark of the throwaway society that has developed right under western society’s noses. Everything is disposable now. No one seems too bothered about being wasteful because replacements are easily found.

There needs to be a return to an attitude where appreciation is commonplace. It should start with food, being the cornerstone of all society and flow down to other aspects of our daily lives. It’s a simple concept. Some of the poorest people I’ve ever met have been grateful for everything they possess. And they would be only too happy to share everything and more.

Being grateful for what we have might be a change the world needs right now.