Monday Prompt
What Shadows Can We Welcome into the Light of Our Awareness?
And who’s that lazy spoiled brat lurking under my fear of change?
Blessed is the Eternal Light who grants us so many epiphanies in the darkness.
We’re having a heatwave here in the Bay Area.
As someone prone to skin cancer and reactions to even mild heat, I stay out of the sun, keeping as covered up as I can.
In fact, I hug the shadows. I crave their cool soft respite from the harshness of direct sunlight. it can feel ten degrees cooler to me in the shadows.
What about metaphorical shadows?
Swiss psychologist C. J. Jung referred to our shadow as the person we would rather not be.
He described our shadows as energy patterns, often archetypal, with gold in them. Yes, they may contain all that we would repress and ignore, but they’re also highly creative and filled with raw vitality.
Who is that person I’d rather not be? What are the parts of me I’ve disowned, hidden, kept at arm’s length to not have to deal with or acknowledge?
If I’m honest, I will tell you I am a lazy, spoiled brat who does not like change. Change terrifies me. My routine provides comfort and the answer to the question, what do I do now?
I like having structures in my day that answer that question. At my last job, I had a schedule with blocks for every half hour. I followed it faithfully or came back as soon as I could when an urgent task knocked me off course. That schedule anchored me.
Now that I’m retired, there’s no such schedule. It’s up to me.
Unscheduled time can feel like being tossed and turned in waves too big to swim. The underlying fear is that without structure, I’ll fritter away my day and not get anything done. Nothing to show for myself. So there’s a big drive to be productive. The more I accomplish, the better person I am.
But it has to be creative accomplishments. Not chores, or errands. I need to replace the front tires on my car, but that doesn’t count.
These two “needs” explain why I’m so enamored of the Ninja Writers program I’m in. Not only is there great teaching in the craft, structure, and marketing aspects of writing, there are more zoom classes and workshops than one person can sanely attend and still get their writing done.
That is until there’s a break.
The structure is eight weeks on, then a month off. Two months of classes and workshops and a month off with just a few drop-in sessions. Then it starts up again with new classes or continuations of the old.
June is a month off I’ve been waiting for so I can get caught up where I’m behind. Like editing my novel. So on the one hand I welcome the extra time. On the other hand, it scares me.
What if I have all this free time and I still don’t get any editing done? I can’t blame all the classes. I’d have to look at myself.
So that’s what I’m doing now. How did Diana know?
Underneath this fear of change and unscheduled time, lurks that lazy, spoiled brat who doesn’t want to do any work. She tends to putter. She can get lost on Facebook or Instagram, liking and commenting and making new friends.
She can spend too long on the phone, or in the shower, not thinking about how much water she’s wasting, or time.
In response, I go to the other extreme, cracking the whip.
Forget to take breaks from the computer my eyes, back and circulation system need. Forget to fix healthy meals and instead nibble out of my deskside snack stash — trail mix and chocolate.
So the inner taskmaster may be part of my shadow as well. These two are connected at the hip going back and forth in a silent shadowy tango tug of war neither can win.
But they can certainly tire me out.
Whatever happened to moderation? Balance. Striving to be healthy in body, mind, and spirit.
My work schedule had two fifteen-minute breaks as well as an hour for lunch. My retirement schedule is much more grueling. But I’m only just now figuring that out.
To my credit, having written about making incremental changes, I am doing just that. I stretch in the kitchen while heating water for coffee or tea.
I walk daily or take a Zumba class — online still. And recently I’ve added a 25-minute Essentrics Classical Stretch workout into my day. It’s its own reward. My head, neck, and shoulders feel stronger and more aligned immediately!
This month is a great time to get some better eating patterns going.
Especially since I’m gaining weight again. Going into the kitchen to fix proper meals means I get the veggies and protein my body craves. And it’s time away from the computer — a double blessing.
According to Debbie Ford, best-selling co-author of The Shadow Effect, along with Deepak Chopra and Marianne Williamson, our shadow can only wield its power over us when we keep it in the dark.
So rather than repress, hide, and fight our shadows, let’s remember they are a vital part of us and as such, just as holy as the rest of us. They contain gifts and lessons, as well as pain and fear.
What shadows can you welcome into the light of your awareness?
Thank you, Diana C., for such an abundant plethora promptastic prompts!
Marilyn Flower political humor and satire to delight socially and spiritually conscious folks. She’s a regular columnist for the prison newsletter, Freedom Anywhere, where she writes about faith and prayer. Five of her short plays have been produced in San Francisco. Clowning and improvisation strengthen her resolve during these crazy times. Stay in touch!
