What others think of you should not concern you.

Your life is unique to you. Live it to the fullest without letting other people's judgment bother you.

I was a people pleaser all my life. I got excellent grades to make my dad happy, helped out my mum with her work to simplify her life, did most chores in the house to make sure everything worked like a machine in the house and everybody is comfortable, and I started doing all of this when I was about eight years old. Yes, people complimented me for being so helpful and caring blah blah, but no one noticed how burdened I was by carrying the world on my shoulders.

Soon, I was the person people came to solve their problems, and I did everything I could to make life easier for them. All because I wanted to avoid criticism. I wanted everyone to like me and say nice things about me. The compliments became like drugs, and I went on with it for a long time till one day, I finally said,” Enough is enough.”

People around me were shocked by my change of attitude. They did not realize that I have been carrying others’ burdens because of my people-pleasing nature.

I was morbidly scared about what people thought about me and my life. I was the ‘Miss goody two shoes’ who can do nothing wrong. I did not realize how self-defeating my behavior was until I made a conscious effort to stop living my life as per other’s standards.

Let us face it. We place too much importance on other people’s opinions. Be it how you should live your life, who you should date to what you should eat, and where you should take a vacation, the list is endless.

Not just words but a slight raise of eyebrows, a nudge, or a stare can throw you off your comfort zone and make you question everything you do.

It is funny how we let everyone, be it our spouse, kids, office colleagues, or even random strangers give us their unwarranted opinions about how we should live our life.

“Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.”

-Dr. Seuss

Tell me one thing, who do you love the most? You might say your kids or parents, or you might think you cannot live without your friends or your adorable pets,

but have you forgotten the person you love the most? Just look in the mirror, and you will get the answer.

Yes, you love yourself the most, more than anyone else in the world. Then why do you live that wonderful life of yours trying to please people who don’t even contribute to your happiness?

Reasons you allow other people’s opinions to get to you:

1.You don’t feel important-

In life, we always long to hold a significant position in people’s thoughts. We desperately want others to approve of our lifestyle and what we do in life. Craving for a sense of belonging can make you jump through hoops to get other’s attention.

After living my life pleasing people and living by other’s standards, I realized how much I lost out on life. I learned the hard way to love myself and be true to myself, whatever be the circumstances. You have one life to do all the things that you want and to fulfill your dreams. If you constantly look for the validation of others, your dreams will lay unfulfilled and neglected.

“Today you are you; that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You.”

-Dr. Seuss.

2.You are a people pleaser-

You love to please people and follow in their footsteps. A people pleaser is a person with low self-esteem. Her entire world revolves around other people and their hope and dreams. She spends a significant amount of her life doing things just so that others can live happily, often at the expense of her own needs. Being a people pleaser can prevent you from living the life you want.

3.You don’t want to be accountable for your life

Crazy as it sounds, many people are afraid of taking charge of their lives. They want their parents, partner, or even kids to make decisions for them just so that they can avoid being criticized in the future. Living a life based on other’s thoughts can be frustrating. You cannot give your power of how to live your life to anyone else.

Take risks for your happiness. You might fail, but if you live your life in your comfort zone based on other’s beliefs, you have already failed even without trying. A life lived true to ourselves is one we all should hope to live as that will give us the greatest fulfillment and happiness.

“The key is taking responsibility and initiative, deciding what your life is about, and prioritizing your life around the most important things.”

-Stephen Covey

4.You want to be a martyr-

You have an undeniable need to sacrifice for the sake of others. You want to be remembered for the things you let go of to make other’s life better. But people are busy with their own lives and often do not acknowledge your sacrifices, leaving you with a feeling of dejection.

Remember, you loved yourself when you came into this world.

The concept of self-love is not foreign to us. Kids love themselves unconditionally. Have you noticed babies and how fascinated they are with their tiny fingers and toes? That is the first instance of self-love you will ever see. But as we grow up, our lives become complicated. We become engaged in too many things, and while navigating the complexities of life, we start to take ourselves for granted.

As we struggle through life and our relationships, we decide that the people we love must love us unconditionally, just the way we do. And when that doesn’t happen, we are crushed and often find ourselves in a pool of disappointment.

“No one cares about our feelings,” we grumble. Our goals and aspirations don’t matter to anyone. When your best friend forgets your birthday or when your partner forgets your anniversary, you feel heartbroken, as if life has lost all meaning.

But what if you don’t live your life based on what other people think?

Here are five things that will happen when you don’t let other’s opinions bother you as to how you should live. 1)You can be yourself-

You can be your authentic self and live the life as you want with complete freedom. You would look and dress exactly the way you feel like. You won’t feel the need to load up on cosmetics and makeup and buy expensive clothes to impress others. You would only buy things that truly make you feel comfortable and happy about yourself. The entire fashion industry will reinvent itself, trying to fit into what you want and not what some celebrity promotes that might make someone else appreciate you.

Speaking of me, I have stopped following fashion icons completely after reinventing myself from those people-pleasing days. I follow my own sense of style that makes me happy, and I don’t care if it is not the in thing right now. I sometimes even wear unusual combinations just to put off those fashionistas.

2) You would find your purpose in life

You won’t feel the need to fit in the role that society has imposed on you. You can be a hermit and move to the mountains if that’s what you want! Freeing from what others think about you would help you find your purpose in life. You no longer will have the urge to live as per someone else ideas.

To have a wonderful life believe in yourself. You are unique, and there is no one like you having the same qualities that you have. It is time to be your greatest hero and follow the path that genuinely calls you.

“I believed in myself before anyone else did.”

-Muhammed Ali

3)You would attract like-minded people

People will like you more for your independence and unique ideas. No one wants to be with fake people who follow the crowd. Being your true authentic self will attract other people who are also freedom-loving and unique like you.

Thanks to my attitude change, I made some friends who do not follow the rules and live their authentic selves. Having them in my life has broadened my horizons and has helped me live my life in a way that genuinely makes me happy.

4)You can ignore the haters

Haters will hate no matter what you do. Acknowledging that earlier in life will help you find your tribe and keep the haters at a distance.

I have developed a radar for detecting these negative people who will suck your positivity given a chance. I adopt a resting bitch face and total nonchalance in dealing with them.

5) You can focus on your growth and fulfillment

You will be less stressed as you will stop taking on other’s responsibilities and stress and live your life on your terms.

I have finally stopped helping people who are plain lazy and do not want to be in charge of their life. I dropped all burdens that are others to carry, and I am only concerned about my responsibilities.

So, in a nutshell, the fact that you won’t let other’s opinions drive your life purpose will allow you to live life just the way you want to! Be authentically yourself, and you will always find the path that is made just for you.