Prompted by a Tweet

What One Should Do When Surrounded by Negative People

How to stay calm, cool, and collected in any environment and possibly cause a ripple effect of happiness

Positive People Versus Negative People

There are two types of people: positive people and negative people. Positive people choose to focus on the things they can control and negative people tend to focus on that which they cannot control in the simplest terms. Having said that all positive people have negative thoughts from time to time and there is also such a thing as toxic positivity which is equally as bad some would pose as negativity. However, for the sake of the question posed on Twitter I will stick to the simple narrative of positive people versus negative people. Remember in a negative situation that everything is temporary. Try to avoid all or nothing thinking and remain calm. You can only control yourself.

Ditch the Judgment

When I am surrounded by negative people the very first thought that comes to mind is a saying my parents taught me which is, “Never judge a book by its cover”. I try to have empathy realizing I have no idea what that person or those people have been through that day. Maybe they were diagnosed with cancer, perhaps a loved one passed away, maybe they are not feeling well, maybe they lost a job or have been unemployed for quite some time, perhaps they are dealing with a silent illness…I think you understand my point.

Go Within

The next thing I do is rather than focus on the negative energy surrounding me, I turn my attention inward. I scan my body. I notice where I am holding tension. I then practice deep breathing. I specifically breathe into the areas where I feel tension, which is usually my neck and shoulders. As I breathe, I silently tell myself:

Inhale Peace, Exhale Chaos

Inhale Acceptance, Exhale Judgment

Inhale love, Exhale love

I find breathing puts me in control of myself and it is very self-soothing. Then once I have turned inward, I find I am immediately less bothered by the negativity surrounding me.

Practice Gratitude

Once I have practiced breathing, I then have more patience and can think of things I am grateful for. For example, If I am in the grocery store shopping line and people around me are super negative, but I am stuck listening to their banter I can simply list people, places, or things I am grateful for in my head or even in the notes section of my phone. Sometimes I will take it a step further and text someone to tell them I am grateful they are in my life. Today, I am especially grateful for a couple of articles I read that brought me joy and inspiration so thank you pockett dessert for your lovely journey of orange which is titled Love Orange? You Are the Life of The Party and to all the other wonderful writers here.

“Gratitude blocks toxic emotions such as envy, resentment, regret, and depression which can destroy our happiness. It is impossible to feel envious and grateful at the same time.” ~Robert Emmons

Set Boundaries

When possible set boundaries. This is more applicable when the negative people are people you know rather than strangers in a public environment. This might be people you work with, friends, or family. An example of boundaries in this situation would be:

“I will not tolerate conversations that start with I can’t…”

“I would appreciate a more positive tone when you speak to me.”

“I need you to stop the self-deprecation.”

“I will remove myself from situations that feel toxic”

It is most important to evaluate your values, list what is important and what bothers you, and be upfront with these people to state your boundaries clearly.

The Ripple Effect

Just as the ripples spread out when a single pebble is dropped into water, the actions of individuals can have far-reaching effects.” ~ Dalai Lama

Smile

Extending a warm smile is an easy thing for me personally to do. It does not cost a thing, it does not take any energy, and it just may change someone’s entire day for the better. This is the start of the ripple effect. Maybe if I smile at someone they may smile back, but just maybe they too will smile at someone else. You see we do not know how far that smile will travel.

Give a Compliment When Appropriate

Sometimes I am able to tell someone in line their child is well behaved and who knows perhaps that mom was having a really rough day and hearing that really cheered her up what mom doesn’t love genuine compliments about her child? Sometimes I compliment the checkout clerk on her hair or nails. I try to give compliments when I can because the truth is negativity surrounds us and a compliment can cause a positive ripple effect and possibly change someone’s mindset.

“A random act of kindness,no matter how small, can make a tremendous impact on someone else’s life.” ~Roy T. Bennett

Random Acts of Kindness

I might buy the person's coffee in line behind me or pay the toll for the two cars behind me. Random acts of kindness go a long way in creating a ripple effect of positivity in this world. The key is to do it from the goodness of your heart rather than for something in return.

Again, you can only control yourself. If you remain calm and somewhat positive or content that ability to stay humble and kind might be life-changing for those around you. Lead by example.

Take Away

• It can always be worse
• Everything is temporary
• Set boundaries when possible
• Go within and practice breathwork and gratitude
• Create a positive ripple effect by smiling, giving compliments, and through random acts of kindness

You can choose to remove yourself from negative situations, however, it can be more exhausting to feel like you are always on the run. With these tools, you can remain calm and collected in any environment and you may even cause a ripple effect of happiness.

Thank you for taking the time to read this. I appreciate you and I want to get to know you better. I hope you will drop a comment and tell me more about yourself, maybe where you are from.