Love | Relationships

What My Twin Flame Taught Me About Self-Love

Twin flames are just here to make you better

I recently met my twin flame, or so I thought. I have gone back and forth about whether “twin flames” are even real every day since a post I wrote about it, and probably lost my mind about a thousand times. (Such is the twin flame journey!) You can decide for yourself, but I believe that at a minimum, this person was uniquely equipped to push me past my spiritual boundaries toward a higher level of awakening, and I’d never met anyone like that before.

Expanding further, into more controversial ideals, he was destined to meet me at the right time to take me on a wild and wonderful journey of my soul. Was he literally a mirror of me? Maybe. But that’s not the point of this post. The point is to explore how relationships with others can push you to find new truths about life.

Lots of people responded to that post about my twin flame. Some were skeptical and some had been on their own twin flame journeys. The skeptical ones were really missing the point.

What’s the point? Well, that a twin flame journey, no matter how “real” it seems to you or others, is a blessing because it creates an opportunity to get to know yourself. It lets you love yourself deeply if you play it right. No matter what you believe, you can reap the benefits of letting yourself be expanded by painful experiences.

So, there’s a stage in the twin flame journey when the twins are separated. Imagine: the most incredible love you’ve ever experienced has been torn away from you violently. You can sit there and let that eat you alive with grief and sadness, or you can spread your wings and break free of the worldly suffering that has been placed in your life.

Let me explain.

Ego vs. Oneness

The pain in your life is there for a reason. It isn’t there to make your life miserable. Why not? Because you can experience pain without suffering.

Your pain, whether it be from a twin flame journey or from some other kind of heartbreak, has been given to you as a gift.

When the pain arises, you are invited to look one of two ways. One way, you can give into the ego and look into the suffering caused by the deep feeling of separation, which is in fact an illusion. If you look the other way, you can feel the oneness and total self-love of the universe and understand that things happen for a reason.

Which one should you choose? It’s obvious, but it’s also very difficult.

The trappings of the ego are so enticing that most of us choose ego over oneness. It’s so beautiful when we’re in love, on a high, that we form attachments to these feelings and we let our egos convince us that we need another person to make us happy. So, when that person rescinds their love, it feels like the world has been shattered since the ego has taken such a strong hold on our perceptions.

You were never separate, and you’ll realize this when you embrace oneness.

If you can look the other way, toward oneness and trust in the universe, you’ll be able to flow through the trials and tribulations of your life with ease.

Twin Flames and the Push

Twin flames, whatever they may actually be, have one certain thing in common: they push you toward a spiritual awakening in a way that you can’t possibly experience in any other way. They give you a promise of perfect union with another human being and then allow you to experience disillusionment, forcing you to live without that perfect union to see how crazy things can get.

You get a glimpse of the greatest beauty that the universe has within it, and then it’s taken away. There’s no way you can’t grow from this experience.

You start to see that all relationships you’ve had until then were fine for companionship and love, but they didn’t challenge you spiritually.

For me, I was in pain for a day or two and then I threw myself into inner work. I started figuring out all of my insecurities and working on them. I found that I lacked self-love greatly, and my task was to love myself as deeply as I could love another human. Why shouldn’t I show myself love, respect and forgiveness if I could give it away so easily?

I realized that any insecurities and triggers I was experiencing in the relationship were my chances to heal and let go of emotional baggage. I stopped and focused on healing my wounds. My karma was being cleansed. I found every reason why I wasn’t enough for myself and why my attachments were driving me crazy, and focused on those things deeply.

I still am. Healing is a neverending journey.

The push toward being a better human is nothing to take lightly. The pain is necessary for the ascension.

It’s for Humanity

Why should you try to be better, instead of staying in your 3D ego-based existence, unable to heal or even move? What benefit is there in doing the spiritual work that is presented to you by the relationship with another human?

It’s for all of humanity, people.

If you become the best kind of human possible, it adds that energy to the collective. It inspires others. It moves them on pure energy levels. It raises the vibe of the whole planet.

You’re not just doing this for you. No love you can experience is just between you and that person. It’s a love that proves true love is possible. It’s inspirational.

If you can also prove that self-love is possible to the world, then you’ve given the rest of us a valuable lesson beyond all other things that can be acquired in life. Thank you!

So, pursue self-love. Pursue true love. Stay hopeful. And use your pain to ascend.

Hi, I’m Emily. I write about consciousness, philosophy, and deep considerations of existence. I also teach meditation, Ayurveda, and I am a spiritual coach. I’m the author of the book Twin Flames and the Love Story Within. For more about me, have a look at my website.

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The divine in me recognizes the divine in you.

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