What Manholes Say About Your Sexual Fantasies
You might be surprised
Manholes have been the subject of sexual fantasies since men are men. And that’s a long time ago. However, with time and development in urban sanitation technology, manholes literally started to litter the streets of our cities putting the topic at the forefront of our preoccupations.
In this article, we will study Japanese manholes exclusively, as they are to manholes what my articles are to Medium. That’s “works of art” for those of you in the back.
All the following commentaries about your sexual fantasies are to be taken in the same way you’d read your horoscope in Cosmo.
#1 — The Escaping Caped Person with Fireworks
If you liked this manhole, it means you like doing it with or in a cape. Your sexuality might be partially repressed.
The cape can symbolize the desire to hide from the view of others, which is fair — we’re not all exhibitionists, but also from yourself and your partner. The cape manhole could be an indicator that it’s time to interrogate your sexuality again.
As you can tell from the positioning of the feet, the caped person in the picture appears to be leaving. Be careful. The so-called cape manhole could imply life-altering sexual decisions to come.
Alternative interpretations include a love for batman cosplay, but this is somewhat contradicted by the top-right fireworks. It’s well-known that fireworks scare bats away.
#2 — The Angry Person with a Cool Hairstyle Holding a Bending Stick
We need to set the record straight from the beginning because this manhole is too frequently misinterpreted. The drop we can see under the left eye of the main character is not a tear. The whitish color should be sufficient information for you to infer its true meaning.
This is confirmed by the aspect of the mountain top in the background and the fact the handheld stick is less erect than it could be.
If you liked this manhole, it means you enjoy mutual masturbation and/or masturbation by your partner. The drop below the eye is a metaphor showing you might even enjoy the attention too much. The angry face would then be a reminder that the sexual pleasure of your partner is as important as yours, if not more.
#3 — The Flying Eagle Chasing the Two Stylized Plums over the Lake
If you liked this one, your sexual fantasies are complicated. This is one of the hardest manholes to interpret, but that’s not about to stop us.
Honestly, we must admit that interpretations vary as to exactly which fruits are depicted bottom-right. Plums? Peaches? Bananas? We’ll most likely never know for two main reasons. One, we don’t speak Japanese. Two, we didn’t ask anyone. However, that gives us room to say anything we want, and that’s good news for our readers.
As you might’ve guessed, in the classic view the two plums symbolize testicles, and the eagle’s beak represents high-end stilettos ready to cross the metaphorical lake and step on firm ground.
This is not our view.
If you liked this picture, it means that you like it when your partner swoops down like an eagle on the two sexual attributes of your choice. Could be testicles. Could be breasts, buttocks, knees, feet, eyes, ears, and, our personal preference, nostrils.
As a parting gift, we’ll leave you with “The Masturbating Manhole” from Wazuka, Japan
We admit this is a personal interpretation and might be biased. However, the kind of smile we observe on the character’s face can only be achieved, from our experience, through orgasmic masturbation.
Maybe it’s because he has a small penis, but Gunner Barrett didn’t dare write this article and told me to write it instead. It was fun. Thank you, Gunner.
Smillew is a Medium writer who writes mainly about testicles, his Medium newsletter, and his Medium referral link. No need to follow him; he’ll show up in your feed.
