What Makes Your Heart Sing?
Listen closely because small joys sing faintly.
In early March, I decided to resign from my previous job. By the end of that week, the Philippines declared a community lockdown.
As ominous as this may sound, this turn of fate has honestly been the best thing that’s happened to me in a long time.
Despite the unemployment and an unutilized, running rent (I stayed home with my parents for the quarantine), I am, by all means, one of the lucky ones. Without having to worry about shelter, food, or safety, all I needed to do was stay home and make the most out of it.
Getting out of the corporate hamster wheel, I knew this was my chance to recalibrate my life. This meant discovering & defining the kind of person I am today. And at the end of one of the longest lockdowns in the world, I finally have a better understanding not just of myself, but of the process itself.
Self-discovery needs time and attention — a conscious choice that you need to work on every day. Self-discovery has quite a broad definition, so I’ve found that the easiest way to start is by asking, “What do I like?”
I’m not just talking about passion or calling. Those are obvious, glaring questions — things that buzz loudly in your ear more often than you’d like.
I’m talking about the simple things — The things you do but barely notice. The things that you once liked but ended up in the backseat because “life happened”. The things you wish you could do if you had more free time. The things that, if you gave just a little more thought, actually excite you more than you give it credit for.
To discover the little things that make your heart sing, listen closely. Revisit your past, and confront the present. Then use the answers to find, create, and amplify happiness in your daily life.
What Was Something You Used to Like?
When I was little, I used to grab a piece of paper and pen, sit on our dining table, and pretend to write. I say “pretend” because I was at the age where I barely knew how to spell basic words or form simple sentences. Yet, I wrote, not for school or anyone else. Rummaging through my old things, I found one of those childhood pieces:
I’m not sure why writing excited me then. Maybe it made me feel smart? Maybe I just had a lot on my mind (if this was even possible for a child)? Maybe there were things I wanted to say but, for some reason, couldn’t?
The point is before we had to grow up and our lives were complicated by the demands of adulthood, our rapidly changing world, and the pressure to adhere to society’s standards of an ideal job or lifestyle, there are things about ourselves that will always remain the same — an affinity that, for some inexplicable reason, naturally spur our curiosity and spark joy in our lives.
For me, that’s writing. I guess some early hobbies & dispositions don’t really disappear due to a lack of interest. They just unconsciously get swept under the rug, dormant in the deepest recesses of our hearts.
What Do You Like Now?
Recognizing the present sounds easier than recalling the past. But I’ve found this to be more difficult and, at times, even scary to answer because it requires introspection and action.
I had a long list of things I wanted to do over the quarantine. After exploring them all, only a few stuck. These were the things that bumped off the others in my quarantine list. The things that I looked forward to doing or feeling more of. The things that, as simple as they seem, made my heart flutter.
So far, these include:
- The morning, specifically waking up at daybreak
- A good night’s sleep
- Attachment to memoirs/biographies
- Home decor
- The feeling of being able to contribute
- Knowing I can make it on my own
- One-on-one conversations
- Perfecting a playlist
- The sound of my nutribullet
- My final draft
But what makes it tougher to nail this question is explained by Neil Gaiman:
…the most important thing for human beings is to be aware of the change. The biggest problem we run into is going, “This is who I am, this is what I’m like. This is how I function.” while failing to notice that you don’t do that anymore.
Looking at my list I was caught off guard by how different I am today. Early 20s Ria would probably ask mid-20s Ria, “Who is she?”
Answering this question forces you to confront that you probably might not be who you think you are. You may be faintly aware that you’ve changed, but it hasn’t dawned on you just how much. You’ve outgrown your past self, so you can’t expect to draw happiness from the things or practices that used to matter to you.
Why Is it Important to Know What You Like?
The things that make your heart sing are what give you joy and happiness. So being aware of what these are, allows you to live more purposeful lives. Here are three ways this is manifested:
- You stop taking these things for granted and develop an attitude of gratitude. Appreciation for the little things becomes invaluable especially when you’re going through a rough time. And though these things might require some effort, you’re willing to put in the work to make them constants. To illustrate: I love the rush that comes with finishing a final draft. On days when I feel that I’ve hit a wall with my writing, I remind myself of how rewarding it feels at the end of the tunnel.
- You can design a life that makes you happy. Your happiness starts to rely less on the achievement of ambitious goals and more on how you experience and enjoy daily life. So the goal now is to fill your days with these little sources of joy. You ultimately create a lifestyle that suits you. To illustrate: I love nutritious food, which is probably why I find such an unusual thrill in using my nutribullet. So I prepare a week’s worth of make-ahead smoothie packs, store them into the fridge, and pop myself a post-workout drink every day.
- You can empower yourself at work by injecting these unique quirks into your job. Work-life shouldn’t have to be a zero-sum game. You can redesign, or even enrich, your work by integrating your innate interests into your role, to make work-life a win-win scenario. To illustrate: I love the high that comes with being deeply engaged in a memoir. So I can challenge myself to read biographies or related material of industry experts and share a recap to my colleagues in either a formal or informal setting.
On one hand, I am extremely fortunate to have had this much time to rediscover myself and what I like. On the other hand, I do wish it didn’t take a pandemic and a 76-day lockdown for me to understand just how vital and rewarding this process can be.
Listen to what makes your heart sing. Pay attention to the little things. Recognize that knowing the answers to “What do you look forward to when you wake up?” is just as important as “What is your passion in life?”
Because even though listening to my nutribullet whip up the perfect smoothie is hardly a passion, it makes all the difference in my daily life.