What Makes a Man Less Likely to Cheat?
There are a lot of articles out there that will tell you “How to spot a cheating man” but when doing research for this article I actually had a hard time finding articles about what might indicate loyalty in a man!
I want to help women stop being hypervigilant about negative qualities that might indicate a philanderer and maybe highlight some qualities in a man that can indicate fidelity.
Although none of these are fool-proof. — we’ve all known or at least heard stories about men who had the happiest, most secure marriages and still cheated — -some of these are qualities even psychology today agrees can indicate a loyal partner.
So, let’s begin!
He doesn’t jump into bed with you
Whether there is a moral or religious reason for it, or he’s just a man with high standards, a man who isn’t quick to hit the sheets with just any woman has always been sexy to me.
You can only appreciate a man with (good) standards once you get out of the false mindset that:
- You are super special and that’s why men are just overcome with passion for you and must have you RIGHT NOW!
- You can change an “easy” man. That once the man is in a relationship with you, you will “inspire” him to be loyal.
- You never thought about the fact that easy men are EASY. Men often look at sex differently than women. Some men who are easy are that way because he believes having easy sex with women makes him more macho and it’s an ego thing, or he’s just desperate and will sleep with women without much care about it. Neither of these philosophies are going lead to a man who is loyal, at least not without a lot of pain and long suffering first on your part.
Habits are hard to break so don’t think just because the two of you get into a LTR he’s going to change and become loyal.
It takes practice to be loyal, especially when the greater culture encourages men to be as disloyal as possible to women. You want a man whose had this practice before you get in a relationship with him.
He’s happy in his relationship
That's kind of a no-brainer. If he’s happy in his relationship he has less incentive to cheat.
He has a positive outlook on life
A “glass is half full” kind of guy is naturally going to be happier in his relationship then a pessimist. And as we said, a man whose happy in his relationship is less likely to cheat.
You’re Dad/Brother/Ex would kill him
It’s sad that fear of retaliation from other protective males in your life might be the only thing keeping your man from cheating but…hey…Daddy with a shotgun is no joke and can make a guy think twice about playing games with you!
He’s afraid of Hell
Adultery is a sin (for many major religions). So, if your man is a believer, the risk of a burnt-up booty in Hell can help keep him loyal in your marriage.
He’s afraid of you
Yet hell hath no fury as a woman scorned. And no, I don’t mean fear as in you’re going to beat him up. His fear could be seeing you cry or see the disappointment in your eyes.
Or…his fear can be in the divorce papers, the bitter marriage he might now be stuck in, or simply the fact that now you have an unspoken green light to cheat on him!
His Father was Loyal
A man's father is his role model for manhood. If his father was a loyal man, he is much more likely to be a loyal man too.
He suffered a lot the last time he cheated
“The one that got away,” for men, hits them at a spiritual level. It can literally take years for a man to get over a break-up and if the break-up was caused by his infidelity, he’s less likely to want to put himself through that pain again.
You two have a real connection
Red pill bullshit makes romantic relationships between men and women transactional:
“She has to be beautiful and stay young. He has to make a lot of money.”
This is unrealistic. Women age. Men cannot guarantee their financial future. The only kind of marriage that’s going to work is one where two people genuinely connect with each other and complement each other.
She will be old but still able to decorate beautifully the homeless shelter she and her husband lives in when he loses his job. lol!
And if she ever gets worried or anxious about what their next step is going to be, he knows to make her laugh while he works hard to get them to a better place in life.
This example shows the exemplary character of both the woman and the man, regardless of their age and financial status. And this is the kind of relationship that can last. The red pill transactional relationship will be over as soon as everything is bought and paid for.
He cares about his children
A man whose truly family-oriented may not want to take time away from his children and family to have a side chick.
Trauma Bonding
So, the two of you were struggling in the homeless shelter together? Or you were both held hostage in a bank robbery? Or you actually met when you were both abducted by space aliens?
There’s a dark kind of trauma bonding, one where one partner abuses the other and that somehow binds them together.
But there’s a beautiful kind of trauma bonding too where the two survived some event or hardship together.
This kind of bond is rare. If he has this kind of bond with you, he might work hard to protect it.
He stays busy
“The devil will find work for idle hands to dooooo…” Morrissey croons into the microphone.
It’s an old saying but true, especially for men. A man who keeps himself busy and productive won’t have time for cheating.
He has an image to maintain
How he perceives himself and how others perceive him can be very important to a man. Whatever “image” of himself he’d like to project and maintain, he will likely protect it as well.
Unfortunately, a lot of men want to maintain the image of being a player. Some men, however, have the image of being a family man and a loyal man. And cheating would destroy that image for himself and for anyone who might find out.
He’s too lazy to cheat
Some bad qualities can be a double-edged sword.
Cheating can be a lot of work. Keeping an affair secret is energy-consuming.
Some men might have the desire to cheat but…uh…seriously, bruh? That actually sounds like a lot of work!
He’s not that sexual a person
Men are usually stereotyped as being the ones who want sex more but not all men are like that. It’ll be easier for a man with a low libido to say no to an affair. Just make sure his low libido isn’t due to any health problems.
He’s in the military
Certain jobs actually have prohibitions against things it deems immoral, like adultery. So, if your man is in the military, he could literally lose his job for cheating.
He’s picky about women
Some guys have no qualms about cheating itself, his only problem is finding another woman that “meets his standards.”
His friends are loyal
If he hangs out with loyal men who take their relationships seriously, they can influence his behavior and he also will be less likely to cheat.
There are no guarantees in life, but certain behaviors can indicate a man who will be less likely to cheat on you.
And it’s more about the character and characteristics of a partner than how much money he makes, or how he looks, or how much he swears he would never cheat.
Women need men less for financial support these days and more for companionship and (some for) leadership. And being loyal is part of what makes a good companion and/or leader.
After all, how can you lead someone who doesn’t trust you? And how can you demand loyalty from someone when you aren’t loyal to them? But the “alpha male” rhetoric that’s popular nowadays doesn’t encourage men to develop the loyalty skill, at least not when it comes to their most important human relationship. That between a husband and a wife.
It’s time to start encouraging men to develop these attributes of loyalty and good companionship rather than the “Alpha male” poison they’ve been swallowing lately. It will lead to men, women, relationships, and families that are much more balanced, happier, and fulfilling.
Which will be a win for society as a whole and bring us one step closer to ending the gender war!
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Coke Francis created the banners/animations from images purchased from Dreamstime.com. ←This is a referral link. Click on it and I get a percentage of every sale!
