24TH. SEPTEMBER 2022
What lessons did you learn this past year — how have you grown and improved?
30-Day Writing Challenge #24
Giving up control This year I learned to give up control over something for which I have no control.
I was constantly bumping heads with my mother’s carers at her ‘Retirement Resort.’ She has her own apartment, and the idea is to keep her there until, well, she cannot manage on her own. Or the inevitable happens.
Mum is almost 97. I’m not stupid. I know the rest of her days are numbered. But I had been trying to keep all the threads of her existence tied neatly in a bow, feeling that if they unravelled, that would be the end.
I admit I have been a pain in the butt for the carers, who struggled through Covid, many of whom left or were layed off temporarily.
Now, I am paying extra private carers to manage her needs, rather than trying to juggle everything myself. The people who do this work are wonderful, kind people who anticipate and use their initiative, as much as I do.
Hard work and sacrifice To clarify, it is my mother’s money used to pay these workers, but now I realise she deserves to have everything she needs for the end phase of her existence.
Until now, I held tightly on to the purse-strings, in the name of ‘responsible management’. But I know it is time to let her benefit from all the hard work and sacrifice she did during her life.
I still do a lot for her, but it has freed me up to spend ‘quality time,’ rather than seing it as a ‘chore’ to be accomplished.
This lesson about ‘letting go of control’ has changed everything.
Seeing her relish the occasional meals I cook for her, and knowing how well all of her needs are being met, is not only a huge burden removed, but a joy, and a privilege.