What Kind of Life Would You Like to Have When You Grow Up?

Yes, you too

Whether you’re a recent graduate or someone in your 60s with only a few more years of the office grind, the question is just as relevant for both.

We often hear: “What would you like to be when you grow up?”

Not nearly as common is: “What kind of life do you want to have?”

Among the people I graduated with, only a handful of them are still in journalism. Most left for marketing, some left for nursing, and one swapped the local newspaper for an assistant teaching job. A few of my friends started for themselves within the media field. Most of those who left got tired of pressuring deadlines.

In Norway, pay is generally pretty much the same whether you’re a teacher, nurse, marketer or journalist. There are some varieties here and there, but it’s mostly similar throughout the spectrum. So when you do decide to pursue a career, it’s because you want to.

Not because the pay is great, or not great.

When I decided to give journalism a go, it was mainly because I loved photojournalism. I figured a job within journalism would be more stable and less competitive than becoming a photographer or photojournalist, and with local journalism, photography would still be part of my job. I had always enjoyed writing, so in my eyes, this choice was a clear win-win.

What kind of life I wanted to have took priority over what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wasn’t very keen on starting on my own, competing with a handful of amazing photographers in Norway. I wanted all things stable, and I wanted my off-hours. I know, I’m boring.

The off-hours

The truth is I loved and still love my off-hours.

When spent with my husband, all the better. The time we get to have together, wasting time in front of the TV, going on walks, sitting on the porch doing nothing, are some of the things I treasure most in life.

It’s exactly the kind of life I wanted. Actually, it’s better.

I ended up loving my career, too. I’ll never know what my life would’ve looked like if I made different choices, pursuing photography, but I never regretted the choice. Hanging up the drafts in the newsroom, seeing the pages being put together minutes before our deadline. Helping decide what feature photos or cover photos to use and which ones to skip.

I absolutely loved it.

In Scandinavia, it was easy to do this as my husband and I started our family. Kids and work were fine; a good combination, if anything.

Now, living in the United States, I work part-time and my whole reason for doing so is to maintain that life I want to have when I grow up. I don’t want to give that up, sacrificing sleep and those off-hours for the grind and climbing up the ladder as fast as possible.

I still get my share of journalism, and my brain rests when I’m not working. I know being a full-time journalist here would look very different than what it did in Norway. The work culture is just not the same.

For some, off-hours might be something you dread. Perhaps you love that grind, expanding your goals every year, improving. Perhaps work is a true passion, a number-one priority.

For me, it’s work. It’s work I enjoy. But I love my time off.

A different outcome

I was inspired to write this story after seeing a LinkedIn post recently. It was a personal story of someone who left journalism for a writing job.

The post highlighted that life-part. Rather than asking what you want to be when you grow up, ask, what kind of life do you want to have?

The outcome might look very different.

For her, journalism turned into lack of sleep, anxiety, stress, you name it. She thrived in her new career and was able to relax.

Sometimes, what we want to do changes over time, too.

It’s normal to change careers. According to the U.S. Department of Labor, the average person will change careers five to seven times during their work life. In fact, about 30% of the total workforce in the United States will now change jobs every 12 months.

Some people change because what they wanted to be when they grew up wasn’t what they had imagined. It was different than their childhood dream. It was more than a title.

Perhaps it was all-consuming, or perhaps, it wasn’t consuming enough.

Some simply just wanted a change, early or late in their career. Fairly common within my network is that people change it up a little in their mid-30s, when they’re establishing a family.

Ditch the question

An excellent article in The New York Times by organizational psychologist Adam Grant simply asks adults to stop asking kids what they want to be when they grow up.

Why?

It forces children to define themselves in terms of work. When we define ourselves by our jobs, our worth depends on what we achieve.

Life is more than work. Life is more than what we achieve.

It’s about how we treat others, who we are as humans. The article also brings up how this question can be stressful and confusing for kids.

Why?

Because, not everyone knows what they want to be when they’re 8. Sometimes, adults don’t even know it.

If we asked “what kind of person do you want to be” and “what kind of life would you like to have”, I have a feeling the workforce would be a more enjoyable place to be for everyone.

We’d probably be happier, too.

The kind of life I want to have when I grow up is one where I am excited about work, but where my brain is quiet enough for me to enjoy the small, moments in life that are so much bigger than what they seem.