Summary

Lyuba, a person with an unusual name, shares her experiences with the challenges and unique aspects of having a name that is uncommon in her community, detailing the journey from disliking her name to embracing its distinctiveness.

Abstract

Growing up in California with a name that stood out among her peers, Lyuba faced teasing and a desire to change her name to something more conventional like "Ashley." Her Russian name, meaning "love," was met with frequent misspellings and difficulties in everyday situations, such as making reservations. Despite these challenges, Lyuba's perspective shifted over time, and she came to appreciate the memorable nature of her name and the special connections she formed with others who also had unique names. The article reflects on the duality of experiences with an unusual name, from the frustration of never finding personalized souvenirs to the joy of being remembered distinctly by others.

Opinions

Lyuba initially disliked her name due to its uncommon nature and the teasing she endured, wishing to adopt a more conventional American name.
She acknowledges that having a common name like "Ashley" would not have erased her cultural differences, such as her Russian heritage reflected in her food choices.
Persistent misspellings of her name on legal documents and in social situations have made Lyuba more conscientious about correctly spelling others' names.
Making reservations under a friend's name is seen as an easier alternative to avoid the hassle of mispronunciation or confusion.
Lyuba observes that people either remember her name distinctly or forget it quickly, with some being so taken by its uniqueness that they name their pets or children after her.
The rarity of her name means Lyuba rarely finds personalized items like keychains, which were considered cool when she was younger.
She feels a special camaraderie with others who have unusual names, as they share similar experiences and can find humor in the situations their names create.
Ultimately, Lyuba has come to embrace her name, recognizing its memorability and the absence of negative associations that can come with more common names.

What It’s Like To Have An Unusual Name

I wanted to change my name to “Ashley”

I grew up in California surrounded by Melissas, Nicoles, and Kyles.

People with normal names.

My name, on the other hand, was not normal. It was different, and most people had never met another Lyuba before (it’s pronounced in a way that rhymes with “Cuba”). Even as a grown-up, most people I meet have never heard my name before.

That is unless I go to Russia. There, my name is common. Lyuba comes from the Russian word for love, “Lyubov”.

Anyone who’s grown up with an unusual name will know what it’s like to go through the process of hating your name, then slowly starting to accept it and even love it. Even so, having an unusual name comes with its own set of special circumstances.

You go through a time when you want to change it

When I was 9, I‘d had enough of the kids at school making fun of my name so I told my mom I wanted to change my name to “Ashley”.

I had a friend at the time named Ashley. She was so cool and “normal”. Her dad was a police officer and she came to school with peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. I thought it was a solid American name, and if my name was Ashley instead of Lyuba, then I would fit in too.

Little did I know that having an American name wouldn’t magically erase all the things that made me different. I would still get sent to school with a Thermos full of borscht. Needless to say, my parents thought Ashley was a horrible name and wouldn’t take my pleas seriously.

It always gets misspelled

I’ve been married for 6 years and my mother-in-law still misspells my name. I’ve had my name misspelled on work contracts, legal documents, invitations… the list goes on.

It happens so often, that I’m more surprised when someone gets my name right. Because of this experience, I’m always extra careful to double-check how I spell other people’s names. Cause they always notice.

Making reservations is a pain

When making reservations over the phone, I usually use a friend’s name.

Then there are situations where they call out your name to let you know your order is ready. That’s when I use a fake name. It’s just easier that way, and also kind of fun. You feel like you briefly take on a new identity.

People either remember your name forever or forget it instantly

Whenever I meet someone new, usually one of two things happens:

They get extra curious about my name and ask about the spelling, origins, and comment on how unique it is. Or they’ll nod and forget it instantly. Then, they’ll be forever too embarrassed to ask about it again.

To be fair, this happens to people of all names. Someone tells you their name and two seconds later you realize you have no idea what they just said.

However, when your name is unusual this happens to the extreme. I know because when I meet someone with a complicated name, it happens to me too.

On the flip side, some people love your name so much they end up remembering it forever and even finding ways to use it in their own life.

I’ve had a cat and a baby named after me by total strangers because they liked my name so much. I was very flattered about the cat.

You never find souvenirs with your name on it

Remember when it was super cool to get a keychain, pen, or some other souvenir with your name written on it?

Whenever I’d be traveling somewhere with my family, I’d always check to see if they had something with my name. The closest I ever got was Ludmila. Close, but not close enough.

You instantly bond with others who have unusual names

My best friend from college is named Souhail. Another close friend is named Sezer. I recently met someone whose parents gave him the medieval name Dolgar. He said he’d never met anyone else with his name.

When you meet someone else with a unique name, you instantly have an understanding of all the small ways it impacts your life. And it gives you something to laugh about and bond over.

You learn to embrace it

Over time, you realize that having a unique name is pretty awesome. It’s memorable and often has a meaning behind it.

Plus, people don't have bad associations because there’s no one in their life with your name who left them with a bad memory. Sorry to all you Donalds out there.

So eventually, you learn to love your name and all that comes with it.