NOVEL WORKSHOP
Climbing. What It Was Like When It Started
Little by little, without them noticing, it had begun to go awry.
This is part of a novel, chapter 10. To see all published chapters, go here.
#10 Climbing
As he got out of the car, the heat hit his face. He was not prepared for this. It was a hot day. The air vibrated, was almost electric. He stopped and turned and reached into the car and grabbed his cap and sunglasses. Both were in fact absolutely necessary. He looked down at his feet. He put on some light hiking boots. It was not advisable to go up here in such shoes. He went and took out the powerful hiking boots from the box at the back of the car. He brought a jacket with him for safety. One could never know; the weather could turn abruptly so high up.
He thought he should take it easy at first. With the heat that was today, it was not advisable to go out. He walked slowly. The sunglasses and cap were a good help against the bright sun. He was a little surprised because he did not remember this place like that at this time of year. The sun shone mercilessly on him. In fact, the sun was just above the top where he was walking. He felt the good light, the warmth that met his face. He knew it was good that this mountain lay like this, he did not have to worry. He was going to get sun on his face all the time as this mountain lay in relation to the Sun.
As he walked calmly upwards, he thought of the usual things. He was annoyed with himself. He could not quite put into words what he was annoyed about. — Yes, that was obviously what had happened to the alternative solution. That he had let it happen — had he let it happen?
Guilt.
— What kind of guilt?
“I should have done something different; I should have said something else. I should have answered when she said what she said. I should have kept quiet when she said what she said.”
He felt that no good thoughts were coming. He did not dare let this flow further. Yes, he should have done something else. He should have taken care of the opportunities, which he has not done.
He felt the hopelessness subside. He knew himself. He knew he was in such a negative, downward spiral. And he had to free himself from this here, this negative.
He set the pace and walked all he could. It became fast steeper, it got heavier and heavier, but he told himself that he should go as fast as he could. And he felt the sweat running, he had a taste of blood in his mouth.
It was on the edge, this. He pushed himself and after more than half an hour at this pace, he could suddenly cross a ridge and saw the very large surface down there. The sun was reflected in the large lake. It was unbelievably beautiful. A large black bird hovered overhead, not too far from the top. He bowed his head back to study the bird.
He feels that his body is getting hot. The mountainside is steep, breathing increases with ascent, heart rate increases as exertion increases.
He reaches the first cairn, where there is a ledge, a small, flat area, some short trees, some grass stumps. Hard-trampled, dry soil. There have been people here before. Many boots have pulled here, stopped a bit on this small plateau and turned around and looked out over the wide high mountain plain.
When it started, in the beginning, everything was simple. She was who she was, and he had been himself.
Little by little, without them noticing, it had begun to go awry.
“You said it!”
“No, I did not!”
“You said you wanted to.”
“No, I did not say that.”
They had crashed, without understanding what was about to happen.
“You do not hear what I say.”
“I do not want this.”
He did not want this either. And yet they carried it out.
They hurt each other. They misunderstand each other.
They do not take each other seriously.
“I’m talking. Listen to me.”
“I hear you.”
Silence.
He hears her breathing. She sighs.
“I say something to you.”
“Yes, I hear you.”
“But you answer something else.”
It’s hopeless.
He says so.
“This is not the way it should be.”
“No, it is not.”
“I do not want this.”
“I know that.”
“But you do not see me. You do not listen to me.”
Accusations, criticism of the other. Words thrown out into the room. Words floating there like dumb accusations.
Words that come to you. Words that do not stand up for friendship. Words that will make you smaller, put you in place.
“You’re not listening to me. You’re just interested in yourself.”
“No. You are the one who does not listen to me. You who are only interested in yourself. “
“I, who always listen to you. I, who is always here for you! ”
“Listen to that! Shiny lies! ”
Most often it ended like this.
Silence. Loose threads hanging in the air between them, without the problem ending properly.
She walked out of the living room and he was sitting back alone.
Novel fragments will appear here, as the fiction progresses. For the latest follow me here: https://oivind47.medium.com/
Novel in progress. Comments and feedback are welcomed.
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