WRITING
What It Means to Have a Thick Skin as an Author
The silver linings of rejections and critiques
For full Storius experience consider subscribing to Storius Direct
As authors, we soon learn it: the thicker our skin, the better chance we give to our story to breathe. Taking that one first step to let people read our stories is exhilarating because it’s when we share them that our stories really start to exist. It is also very hard because we know that readers will start to judge them.
Appreciation is fantastic, but that’s not the only thing we’ll get. We will get criticism. We will get bad reviews. We will get lots of rejections. A lot of things we try will not turn out as we hope. Sometimes, we and our stories will face epic failures.
It may sound like a lot of negativity to endure, and maybe you think this is why we need a thick skin. When we develop a rhino skin, we won’t care about what people say, because we’ll have our own self-esteem to support us.
It is partly true, but I think there’s something even better.
To me, developing a thick skin doesn’t mean getting to the point we don’t care about negativity, but rather developing the attitude to turn that perceived negativity into actual opportunities.
Having a thick skin means developing the attitude to turn that perceived negativity into actual opportunities.
Most of the people who give us criticism, rejection, or point out our possible failures aren’t out to hurt us. Sometimes they might actually try to help us. But even when their position is neutral, they may still give us unexpected help. When we develop a think skin that distances us from our stories enough to see that most of the people out there are not trying to push us down, we’ll discover something extremely valuable: these people are giving us the opportunity to see where we have space to grow.
Criticism and bad reviews
Learning to take critiques has been one of the hardest lessons to learn as a writer and I won’t hide that at the beginning it was very very hard.
We tend to be protective of our stories because we love them. When we write them, we give everything, and it’s only natural that we want the best for them. We want readers to love them as much as we do. We want readers to think our stories are awesome.
As we grow as authors, we learn that actually, finding only partial appreciation is the most natural thing. Not everybody will love our stories. Stories touch our innermost chords, and at that intimate level, there will be readers that will sing with us and others who are after a different song.
There’s nothing to freak out about. It’s the most normal thing to happen.
Critique will come from those readers who are after a different song or who can’t wholly embrace our song. They will invest their time and thoughts to tell us what they think, and that’s where a remarkable thing happens. Their critique might appear to be mostly on the negative side because they will point out what they didn’t like or what in their opinion didn’t really work.
And this is a valuable gift. Because hey are giving us that opportunity to hone our skill, and therefore to become better storytellers.
This is what I’ve learned:
1. Praise is good
It’s when we receive praises that we know that what we’re doing is worth it, no matter what else happens. Seeing that readers enjoy our stories is possibly the biggest boost an author can get. And it’s educational, to a point, knowing what of all we do actually works. That what we write resonates with our readers. But there’s little grow in praise. It’s when we learn that something doesn’t quite work that we have a real opportunity to take action, and by doing so, to grow and evolve as an author. Sometimes, the critique will point out something we were dubious about, but let it be. Sometimes it will point out something we didn’t see. Both cases are incredible occasions for exploration.
2. Critiques are not about solutions
Critiques are far more likely to point out the issue than to offer a solution. I’ve heard writers complaining about this many times, asserting this is the reason why they don’t take part in critique groups. But let’s be honest. It’s isn’t the critiquer’s job to solve our story’s issues. It’s our story. We should find the best solution. When we have soft skin, we think: easy for them to say that something is not working. Why don’t they also offer a solution? When we have a thick skin, we think: How lucky that I was pointed out that weakness I didn’t notice. Now I have the opportunity to address it.
3. Being able to handle ANY critique comes with the territory
We need to handle whatever critique we receive. Receiving a critique or a review is a gift. I truly believe it. Whatever it’s positive or negative. But because it is a gift, it doesn’t mean we’ll be able to use all of it, all the time. Some of the critiques we’ll receive will be off-target. They will be about what the reader desires more than what the story can offer. This also is natural and we shouldn’t resent it. But we should also use our best judgment to see when a critique is useful to enhance the story and when it isn’t. Above all, we should notice patterns. If more than one reader points out the same issue, no matter what we think, there probably is an issue.
Rejections
The difference between a critique and a rejection is that the critique, even when negative, is subject to elaboration. We can work with it. Rejection is just a no, with nothing attached to it. Most of the time, we won’t know why our story is rejected.
I won’t hide that taking rejections is hard. Finding opportunities to grow is also hard, precisely because we can’t work with them. So having a thick skin in regards to rejection is more accepting that this is part of the game and not dwell on it too much. Especially not enough to drag us down.
We’ll mostly receive rejections from the industry, be it from agents, editors or publishers. People who work with stories and authors, who have a lot of experience and know what they are talking about. Which are still more reasons why taking their rejection is hard. We tend to take it personally.
But we really shouldn’t. Rejections are never personal.
This is what I’ve learned:
1. Stories are rejected (mostly) for a good reason
Most of the time, there is a very practical reason why the industry rejects our story. There’s no point in resenting it. Most of the time, the reasons why a story is rejected are far more pragmatic and have nothing to do with us personally. Sometimes the theme is not quite right for the current market, or the professional is already working with a few novels with the same theme or idea. Sometimes our work didn’t arrive at the right time. There might be unnumbered reasons.
2. Volume submissions mean volume rejections person
Sending out our story to anyone, relying on the fact that numbers will give results isn’t the smartest of strategies. It may result in some requests. It’ll certainly result in lots and lots of rejections. Researching the best person to whom to submit our work will reduce rejections and heightened the opportunity of acceptance.
3. The story may be not ready
We have to come to terms with the fact that our work is not as good and/or as ready as we thought. And usually, when we keep receiving rejections, it is because something doesn’t work with the story, rather than any other reason. The bad news is that, because most of the time we’ll only receive a prewritten, impersonal rejection email (when we do, because many industry people don’t even reply, and that’s to be considered a rejection), we’ll never know why we are rejected. When this happens, I try to have a very hard look at the story. I rework it base on my best judgment, knowing something must be wrong with it. But it’s all guesswork. It will make the story better, but there’s no guarantee it will make it easier for it to be accepted.
Rejections are maddening, I agree. But there’s no way to avoid it altogether. So we’d better find a way to cope with it. Call a friend. Write a rent in our secret diary. Go for a walk. Eat lots of chocolate. Whatever works for you, but get that bad feeling out of your system.
Then go back to writing something new.
Things won’t always work
Wouldn’t it be marvelous if there were a formula? A formula to write the story that everybody likes. A formula to find our ideal reader. A formula to communicate successfully with that reader and have them buying lots of our books.
Sadly, there is no formula.
So there’s no point going out looking for it. Even when we analyze the success of another author and replicate what that author deed faithfully, there is no guarantee that we’ll have the same results.
This happens because several variables are involved in the success of an author, and not all of them are objective. We may write in the same genre. We may have the same ideal reader. We may have a similar style or approach to storytelling. We may apply the same strategy of promotion in all the same places. But we haven’t written the same story. We’re not the same person and haven’t written the same story. We won’t have the same personality. We won’t be interested in the same things. We won’t enjoy the same stuff in the same way. This means that our approach to the readers will be different, the way we interact will be different, and the way readers perceive us will be different.
The same elements can turn to a very different result for a small variable something we might not even consider important enough.
Replicating someone else’s success is almost impossible because we are different people.
What we need isn’t decoding the formula of someone else’s success, but to find our own formula.
This is what I’ve learned:
1. You learn from studying what others do
We still need to watch what others do, because it’s by watching that we learn. It is most likely that by watching what successful authors do, we’ll find something that we also like doing as wells as something that makes sense to us. Something we’re also good at. By putting all of these things together, we’ll start to build our own formula for success.
3. There is no substitute for listening
Listen. We always need to listen, not only to other authors’ experiences and strategies but also to our readers. After all, it’s for them we are writing. Let’s listen to what they like, to what they enjoy, what they care, what makes them laugh or cry. Let’s notice to what action they don’t react at all. In many respects, readers are our compass.
3. Some things simply won’t work
If something doesn’t work, it doesn’t. Let’s not dwell on it. Yes, we should analyze it and try to learn all we can from it, but once we’re done, let’s move on. Let’s try something different. Sometimes a small change will turn into a totally different result.
Having a thick skin here means keeping an open mind. Don’t get scared by the failure. Don’t drop everything only because it didn’t work at that moment. Things may change. We may change. Let’s keep the enthusiasm to try one more time.
Conclusion
Having a think skin will keep us floating as authors. It’s a characteristic we need to develop.
But to me, it isn’t the ability to let everything wash over us and go. It isn’t shrugging our shoulders and let everybody think what they will, because it doesn’t matter to us.
On the contrary, having a think skin means taking everyone’s opinion in consideration. Give it a hard look. And then finding the opportunity hidden in there.
A think skin is what distances us from doubts, and brings us closer to opportunities.
Sarah Zama wrote her first story when she was nine. Fourteen years ago, when she started her job in a bookshop, she discovered books that address the structure of a story and she became addicted to them. Today, she’s a dieselpunk author who writes fantasy stories historically set in the 1920s. Her life-long interest in Tolkien has turned quite nerdy recently. She writes about all her passions on her blog https://theoldshelter.com/
An online magazine about the art, craft, and business of storytelling, STORIUS is a publication for everyone interested in how stories are created, discovered, distributed, and consumed.
➢ Subscribe to Storius Direct to receive articles like this to your inbox
➢ Subscribe to Storius Digest to receive a weekly digest with links
Storius Elsewhere: LinkedIn • Facebook • Instagram • Twitter • Flipboard
