What It Means To Be A Husband

Is The Term Husband Relevant In The 21st Century

A few weeks ago, my wife and I were at a dinner party. Sipping wine, chatting with friends, and trying to mingle with others as well. We struck up a conversation with another couple who also have kids and we went through the usual introductions.

I do not remember exactly what was said, but introductions usually have the same nouns, verbs, and adverbs in order like: “My name is ‘X’, the is my husband, ‘Y’, and I think our kids robbed a liquor store together.”

The response went something like, “Oh, those were your kids? I do remember seeing you at the arraignment!” Maybe it was an underwater basketweaving class, I don't remember all of it.

It was the word “husband” that caught my attention. Husband. That is an old word from an older time. Nowadays, we use spouse, partner, hubby, or other words to talk about our significant other. But, many times when it comes to a religious ceremony, the word husband comes up.

According to the dictionary, the husband is a noun and a verb. The noun means: “a male partner in a marriage, but also means a frugal manager”. The verb means: “to manage prudently or being conservative with resources” (https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/husband).

Maybe now is the time, early in the 21st century, to invest in a new term. One that represents an equal life partner. The person you can always talk to when your day goes south. The person you can depend on to get the kids when you have to work late. The person that you can trust with your life stories and will always be on your side. When it rains outside, they always have an umbrella, as you would do for them. Not to manage resources or be a financial manager, but to work together and everyone moves the family forward, taking on the risk and decisions, and making a life together.

As I stand there in conversation, chatting, and talking about the kids: I start to realize something. Regardless of the term, my wife gives me, the fact that I am in the room, standing next to her, in this conversation as a partner, means the world to me. Nothing will ever change that.

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