Summary

The web content describes the complex and multifaceted experiences of a woman navigating a career in the male-dominated STEM fields, balancing pride in her achievements with the challenges of bias, harassment, and underrepresentation.

Abstract

The article delves into the emotional landscape of a female engineer who grapples with the duality of empowerment and vulnerability in her profession. She takes pride in her academic and career accomplishments, serving as a role model for increased female representation in STEM, where women constitute only 28% of the workforce. Despite her successes, she faces the exhaustive burden of proving her competence, dealing with sexual harassment, and overcoming the subtle biases that question her abilities. The narrative underscores her resilience and commitment to paving the way for future generations of women in male-dominated industries, aspiring for a future with equal opportunities for all.

Opinions

The author feels a mix of pride and exhaustion from being a woman in a male-dominated field, often having to overcompensate for perceived biases.
She acknowledges the importance of camaraderie and being part of the team but also highlights the discomfort of navigating inappropriate behavior and blurred lines.
The article suggests that the normalization of certain behaviors in the industry can lead to a lack of recognition of what constitutes sexual harassment.
The author expresses frustration with the persistent surprise from others upon learning she is an engineer, indicating societal stereotypes.
She is determined to challenge stereotypes and biases, working hard to prove her competence and to inspire other women to pursue STEM careers.
The author is hopeful for societal progress towards equal opportunity and actively supports fellow women in male-dominated fields.

What It Feels Like to Be a Girl in a “Male-Dominated World”

A badge of honor and a chip on the shoulder

What does it feel like to be a girl in a male-dominated world? It feels like many things.

Some days I feel proud and strong but other days, I feel vulnerable and different. Sometimes it feels like I’m the king of the hill and other times, I’m tired of being beaten down.

It’s exhausting having to be better in compensation for a perceived bias of inferiority that’s beyond my control, but it’s also exhilarating to be a champion for a righteous cause.

Sometimes, it’s a claim to fame

I’m proud of my accomplishments and successes despite the additional difficulties and roadblocks that stand in my path.

I graduated from engineering with honors and I’m a professional engineer with a fancy iron ring and an important-looking stamp to go with it. I did the internship and I got the job after graduation. I’m climbing the corporate ladder and I’ve dodged the reorgs that are euphemisms for company-wide layoffs.

To the outward world, I look like the picture of someone who’s got her life together with career achievements behind me and a bright future ahead of me. All under the banner as a “female engineer”.

And with my successes, I’m a proud advocate of increased female presence in the world of STEM (science, technology, engineering, and mathematics) — an industry in which women make up only 28% of the workforce.

Sometimes, it’s the weight of the world

But sometimes, I falter in my strength and I’m tired of being the odd one out. I’m tired of having to eye the line between “being one of the boys” versus putting up a wall about inappropriate behavior.

You work as a team and it’s important to “be one of them”. You joke, you kid, and you drink — the camaraderie is a necessary part of the work. Though it’s often disguised as “being a team player”, you’re brushing up too often against the blurred lines of having accidentally signed up for a fraternity.

You understand the definition of “sexual harassment” but you say, “Nah, that’s not what’s going on”. You laugh off the cat-calls and whistles onsite and instead you frame it as a strength that you can better cajole cooperation in the ever-existing tension between engineers and the trades.

It happens to all the girls and nothing “actually bad” happens. After all, I knew I was entering a male-dominated world so I kinda signed up for this, no? Or so we tell ourselves …

It becomes so normalized that we don’t think twice about it. We tell ourselves it’s about “toughening up” and it comes with the territory. We start believing it and develop the “thicker skin” that’s required to get the job done.

It isn’t till someone not in the industry tells us, “Hey, this isn’t ok” that we pause and wonder, “It isn’t?”

Sometimes, it’s a chip on the shoulder

Sooner or later — and normally, it’s sooner — you meet someone who looks down on you for your gender. You aren’t good enough, you aren’t confident enough, you aren’t manly enough.

With the spotlight on diversity and the #metoo movement, they don’t dare say these things out in the open publicly anymore. But their opinion of you doesn’t change and their message gets through insidiously.

Your opinion isn’t considered and the high-profile project that should have gone to you is delegated to someone else. Your technical competence is challenged more than any of your male coworkers’ and every setback is held against you.

And so, we go out to prove these people wrong. We work harder and we work to be better because we know our failures and mistakes will be held against not just us but all of our gender.

Even when we succeed, it’s no guarantee of acceptance. Our achievements may be brushed to the side as flukes and our accomplishments might be overshadowed.

But we won’t quit. We’ll just keep persevering to prove them wrong about us.

Sometimes, it’s a badge of honor

I hope to be an inspiration to girls who get told they aren’t smart enough or aren’t good enough to “make it” in any of the STEM fields.

I was lucky enough to have parents that always told me I am smart enough and I am good enough. I just have to work hard enough to unlock my potential.

I hope that one day, I don’t get looks of pleasant surprise when I tell people that I’m an engineer.

Truth be told, these reactions used to really annoy me — actually, it still annoys me if I’m being honest but I’m learning to be more understanding. If every guy in my group is an engineer, why is it assumed that I “belong” to one of the guys? Why can’t I stand and speak for myself as an engineer?

Looking at the statistics, I recognize that in today’s society, these onlookers have a better chance of being correct if they guess I’m a girlfriend to one of the guys. But maybe one day, it won’t be such a novelty to be a female engineer.

The world is an ever-changing place.

I’d like to believe that society in general moves forward for the better. I hope that with enough championing and support, we’re heading towards a world with equal opportunity regardless of gender, ethnicity, or sexual orientation.

Till then, I’ll continue lending my voice and my actions in support of fellow women in male-dominated fields. We may not have known exactly what we were signing up for — I know I certainly didn’t — but now that we know, let’s make it a better place for future generations of women to come.