Is a Poor Say: Do Ratio Undermining Your Success?

A few simple habits can improve it.

Yes, I judge people by their Say: Do ratio. Be it friends, family, or work associates. You probably do it too.

A say: do ratio simply means the ratio of times you ‘DO’ as you ‘SAY’. In a perfect world, your say: do ratio is 1:1. A reliable person has a pattern of say, do, say, do; at least the majority of the time. As simplistic as this sounds, it is a major factor in determining how successful you are at anything you do in life.

The saying that a graveyard is the richest place, for it holds the most creative minds that never fulfilled their calling, is false. The death of talent and creativity begins years earlier when people refuse to act on their creative talents because of a poor say: do ratio.

Areas in life where Say: Do ratio matters

#1 Interpersonal relationships –

“You are what you do, not what you say you’ll do.”

Every human relationship is based on some form of give-and-take. Be it your family, friends, or work associates. For a relationship to thrive, it must be centered on a commitment to do what it takes to nurture it. That said, we all know people in our lives who don’t hold their share of the bargain. It could be a friend who breaks their promise, numerous times, or a family member that never shows up for a commitment.

Such people suffer from a poor say: do ratio and with time we learn not to count on them for any 911 situations.

In my circle, there is a childhood friend that I’ve known since elementary school. Although she is thoughtful, kind, and intelligent, her say: do ratio needs work. So when this friend told me, she would read my next Medium article and give me written feedback on it, I inwardly chuckled and simply didn’t believe her. Why? Because over time I’ve learned; despite all her good intentions, she rarely does what she says.

It’s not uncommon to see this behavior among family members and colleagues.

Remember that family member who was supposed to help you move and then bailed out at the last minute with a pitiful excuse?

Or that co-worker that holds up every project deadline because their portion of the research is still work-in-progress.

We all learn to accept and work around such people but internally we realize that their poor commitment standards reflect in other areas of their life.

#2 Work-Life

“Most people fail, not because of a lack of desire, but, for a lack of commitment.” Vince Lombardi

Your say: do ratio is clearly visible at work.

Your performance and career graph at the company reflect it, especially in your yearly performance review.

Rarely will a poor commitment keeper be promoted to a C-Suite position. In fact, the higher up the corporate ladder you are, the higher say: do ratio you exhibit at work. The people making the most excuses, for shoddy work, or not meeting deadlines, simply reflect a low say: do ratio.

#3 Parenting Style

“When you make a commitment, you create hope. When you keep a commitment, you create trust.” John C Maxwell

It’s often said, kids learn from what their parents do and not from what they say. It’s true.

If you want your children to follow your instructions, watch your say: do ratio while raising them.

Did you attend their Soccer game or Music/Dance recital when you promised that you will? A million excuses for not keeping your promise will fall on a child’s deaf ears when they recognize that their parent(s) have a pattern of not doing what they said they would do.

What about the time when you boasted to your child that you’ll start a new workout regime in the New Year and now it’s the end of the year and you’ve never exercised, even once?

How can such parents expect their child to learn to keep a commitment when they constantly see their parents failing to keep theirs?

#4 Self Progress

“The biggest commitment you must keep is the commitment to yourself.” Neale Donald Walsh

A low say: do ratio hurts an individual the most. All the commitments you make and break with yourself, are deeply etched in your life.

• The gym membership that remains unused because you’ll get there someday.
• The course in photography you signed up for but couldn’t get yourself to commit to the time it takes.
• The failing promise to stop midnight snacking to control your rising blood sugar levels.
• The article you wanted to write on Medium that keeps getting shoved to the back burner.

These are just a few examples of how a poor say/do ratio interferes with your own progress.

Think of all the successful people you know, what do you think their say: do ratio is like?

What if Martin Luther King Jr. decided not to show up for the rally in Washington DC to deliver his “I have a dream” speech?

What if Mahatma Gandhi stopped halfway through the Salt March in India and quit his non-violent peace movement?

Can a Say: Do ratio be improved?

Yes. Try these simple ways to improve it.

1. Think before you commit — Before taking on any task/responsibility think about your involvement and your schedule. Do you have the time to do what you’re signing up for?

2. Say ‘Yes’ to what matters most to you — People ‘make’ time for things they are passionate about. Does the task involve something you enjoy doing? Is it important for your progress at work?

3. Learn to say ‘No’ — Most people-pleasers say yes to everything and then rarely deliver on any of it. Don’t say ‘yes’ just to appease the other person. Learn to say ‘no’ and be truthful about it.

At the end of the day, how you do anything, is how you do everything!

Decide. Commit. Succeed.