Summary

The author reflects on the cyclical nature of personal dissatisfaction and complaints, from childhood desires for long hair to adult concerns about hair quality, ultimately realizing the importance of appreciating what one has.

Abstract

The narrative begins with the author lamenting the condition of their hair, which is dry, fragile, and malnourished, and extends an invitation to readers to consider their own complaints. The author reminisces about their childhood in the early 1990s in Sri Lanka, where a lack of fancy salons led to a unisex haircut imposed by a local barber at the behest of their parents, who prioritized practicality over the author's desire for long hair. The author's persistent complaints eventually led to a promise from their mother that they could grow their hair out upon reaching adulthood. As an adult in 2021, the author, now married and with the freedom to style their hair as they wish, finds themselves caught in a new cycle of complaints about their hair's condition. The author's husband's question, "What is your complaint?" prompts a moment of introspection, where the author sees their childhood self's yearning for long hair and realizes the discontent with their current situation despite achieving their dream. The author concludes by encouraging readers to recognize the fulfillment of their childhood dreams and to embrace contentment with what they have, emphasizing the personal journey from complaints to acceptance.

Opinions

The author believes that complaints are a common human trait, an endless cycle where satisfaction is temporary and new concerns quickly replace old ones.
They suggest that personal dissatisfaction can overshadow the fulfillment of long-held dreams, leading to a lack of appreciation for what one has achieved.
The author implies that societal and parental expectations, such as practical hair maintenance, can conflict with individual desires, particularly during childhood.
A significant moment of self-reflection occurs when the author's spouse echoes the same question once posed by their mother, highlighting the ongoing nature of personal complaints.
The author's tone conveys a journey from frustration to gratitude, advocating for a shift from focusing on complaints to recognizing and valuing the realization of childhood aspirations.

What is your complaint?

The Story of finding the Contempt

Look at my hair! It’s dry, fragile, and malnourished.

My dear friends, what is your complaint?

Is it the color of your skin? Bodyweight or your height? Or a Feature you never had.

If you have nothing to complain about yourself. What about your spouse?

Each day, every moment, we have something to worry about. It’s not just you and me, it’s the nature of all human beings. Complaints are like a never-ending cycle. At the very moment, we get satisfaction or get rid of one complaint, there will be plenty of brand-new complaints.

So, what is your complaint?

For me, it was my poor hair!

When I was young, like every other girl all I wanted was very long hair. But my parents always wanted to cut it short.

One reason for this was, they thought it was so cute! The other reason or the real reason was that it was easy to maintain. They preferred one less trouble.

I was born in the early 90s and we didn’t have fancy salons in Sri Lanka those days. We had only one gloomy saloon in a dark corner of the town, where an old barber gave haircuts as per his own will.

Whenever we were to get a haircut, my mother gave a very simple instruction to the barber. “Same hair cut for both please”.

What she meant by both were me and my brother. Yes, my brother, he’s a boy.

Can you imagine, I always wanted to have very long hair, for me that was a definition of a girl. Since my parents didn’t allow it, I was okay to cut hair. But, thanks to this barber and his stupid haircut, technically I became a boy.

Every day to the saloon was like world war 3. I yelled, cried, and quarreled. Since we went through this consistently, one day my mother very kindly asked me.

Darling, what is your complaint? I looked at her and answered, all I want is long hair.

She replied yes you can have long hair, but before you need to grow up! Grow up!! I was delighted.

From that moment onwards all I wanted was to grow up as soon as possible.

Fast forward to the future, it’s 2021.

I have grown up and happily married. I have the freedom to grow my hair as long as possible. No restrictions no zombie barbers.

Technically I should be the happiest in the world.

But every morning when I sit in front of the mirror, I have another set of complaints.

Hair loss, split heads, silver hair, oiliness you name it. Not a single day passes without these complaints.

One fine day, while I was going through my daily routine of complaints, my husband asked a strange question. Darling, what is your complaint?

Isn’t this the same question I answered a few decades back?

At that instant, I saw a little girl inside the mirror. I saw her struggle to grow her hair. Her dream is to comb it, decorate it, and try different styles.

Is that the same me, who waited for this moment for more than two decades? Is that same me, who dreamed to have this hair so badly. Is that same me, who thought to be the happiest with this same hair.

I have gained what I always wanted to have. I am living in the dream of that little girl.

But still, I have been trapped in this never-ending cycle of complaints. I have almost forgotten what I wanted.

How many of you are living in the dreams of your childhood? But how many of you are happy with what you own?

Once again, I looked at my hair. It’s still dry, fragile, and malnourished.

I tried to forget the complaints and feel the contempt.

Because it’s me, my hair. This is all I have.

My dear friends, what is your complaint?