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outside activities. I confess that our family is completely dependent on him. As I am the elder one from the family and have little brothers, we could not perform our external house activities. The main reason is studies. It is difficult for an individual to study and keep a check and balance on all the family and friend activities. So for this, we will remain thankful to our maternal uncle.As my maternal uncle lives with us, we do the respective work properly, like cooking. I never asked for anything such as money for shopping as I asked from father. My whole day is fully planned. I remain busy in completing tasks. Such a routine has changed the mood and me. I do not know why — but I am becoming more silent every day. It may be due to the pressure of societal norms. I do not demand anything, never argue for things, but follow the orders of my uncle and family members. My ethics do not allow me to speak in front of elders. I think — if I utter any word, people will say that we forget the favors of our uncle. To overcome societal questions, I prefer to stay silent.<figure id="4618"><img src="https://cdn-images-1.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:800/0*BcRmGKcLViB_U5Pd"><figcaption>Photo by <a href="https://unsplash.com/@jannerboy62?utm_source=medium&utm_medium=referral">Nick Fewings</a> on <a href="https://unsplash.com?utm_source=medium&utm_medium=referral">Unsplash</a></figcaption></figure>Certainly, this silence, horrifies me. Sometimes, I feel suffocation at home. The environment has had a significant impact on me. It does not allow me to live the life of my dreams. I’ve been living at home for about a year. I tried different ways to overcome my thoughts, but failed to do so. Instead of getting out, I stuck with this new issue.Here is an example:One day, we were doing dinner at home. We (sisters) served the food to other family members and then sat back, to start our meal. A little cousin demanded water. At that time, my aunt said, “why you people do not do your little work. They are your sisters, and it does not mean you will keep ordering the things. Sometimes, try to do your work such as drink water, and eating food. They are the human beings, and get tired with house chores.”After listening to such remarks from the aunt, our maternal uncle states, “why are you saying such words. What is the work of a woman? She is there to do home tasks. It is their duty to serve us.”I experienced a quiet heartbreak after hearing such statements. I wished my father was alive. If he was among us, he will never utter such words. Well, I got depressed, as I could not speak in front of them. I quickly finished the dinner and went back to the room. I sit silently and start to lament life. Not only this, but I wished to have a father alive. I could not do anything, so random thoughts started to burst into my mind. The questions like —</p

Options

<ul><li>What is hell is this comment?</li><li>Why is he (maternal uncle) doing so with us?</li><li>Are we dummies who are there to follow the orders, as well as listen to the harsh remarks?</li><li>Is it true a woman have only this thing to do?</li><li>Will we remain in a constrained life?</li><li>Why should men always direct women?</li><li>If a woman’s work is to follow man’s orders, then what is the work of a man — 0nly rule, criticize, and give order?</li><li>For how long, will I stay in such an environment?</li><li>Will I ever get a chance to present my perspective? I think a big NO.</li></ul>After a few minutes of self-questioning, I decided to <a href="https://readmedium.com/its-ok-to-let-things-go-64013edb5351">let things go</a>. I let the random thoughts down as if they are useless and only ruin my complicated life.I decided to share my heart with you people so that I feel free. Likewise, I know there are a lot of people who have a similar mind like my maternal uncle. The rest of the people will stand along with me — whom they will call feminist.Now, guys, suggest to me what is wrong with the comment — “what is the work of woman?” Am I a victim of overthinking? Or is there something wrong with the remark? Am I feminist, or uncle is patriarchal?I know everyone has a different perspective about the same thing. Let me know, what do you think about this issue. I do not have a broad perspective about life, but what I share in my writing are the words of my heart. Whatever I think and experience, I share with others. I know, that writing will not sort out real life, but does lighten the heart.I am thankful to Medium for a lovely platform. Where I can share anything. It gives me freedom of speech and increases my contact. It heals my <a href="https://readmedium.com/o-bruised-heart-6ad1d7756cf5">bruised heart.</a> Furthermore, it has given me the power to speak. I will stay in touch with writing for as long as I can.You will surely like the following story.<div id="1997" class="link-block">

      <a href="https://readmedium.com/why-is-she-constantly-thought-to-be-filthy-and-disgusting-924248321530">

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            <h2>Why Is She Constantly Thought to Be Filthy and Disgusting?</h2>
            <div><h3>She is like everyone else, except — a Creole girl.</h3></div>
            <div><p>medium.com</p></div>
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            <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/0*F1RTQGBjo7kJlwZF)"></div>
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      </a>
    </div><p id="e848">Thank You</p><p id="6f8f">Dear reader, you can sign up to medium membership with<a href="https://medium.com/@arbabzahoor6/membership"> <b>my referral link</b></a> and share your experiences.</p></article></body>

“What Is The Work Of A Woman”?

Is there something wrong with even thinking in these terms?

I have done a lot of thinking before sharing these words. Finally, I reached the point where I decided — if I cannot speak among family members, why not share with the other people. By sharing this, I will get the arguments and validating remarks I need to hear from you.

Firstly, I must confess that I am living in an invisible cage. It has limited my thoughts and always pulls me back to stay at home. To get out of the cage, I always push myself up by doing the practices I wrote about here:

Do You Feel That You Are Living in a Cage?

Open up the cage of the heart and feel the freshness

medium.com

I know home is a blessing. It is a place where we can feel things and live a peaceful life. Here is a beautiful quote from Giovanni’s Room,

“Perhaps home is not a place, but simply an irrevocable condition.” ― James Baldwin

A few years back, I was living a good life — full of both good and bad experiences. Everything linked with my father, who never raised questions. We enjoyed spending time together. Whenever we were stuck on an issue, we discussed it with our father. He always supported us and gave good suggestions. Our father did not put restrictions on us like nowadays. Instead, he guided us about the best way of doing things, like performing work and other responsibilities. I call him a guiding angel. In this way, we were living a good life.

The shared moments of care, love, and compassion were lost somewhere with the death of our beloved father. We entered into the milieu of a strange patriarchal system. I do not know what this is or why it happened, but I feel this system’s existence.

After my father’s death, our maternal uncle took on the role of family guardian. No doubt, he provides us with the best of material things. We are financially dependent on his alms. He brings things and does external work like attending far functions, and outside activities. I confess that our family is completely dependent on him. As I am the elder one from the family and have little brothers, we could not perform our external house activities. The main reason is studies. It is difficult for an individual to study and keep a check and balance on all the family and friend activities. So for this, we will remain thankful to our maternal uncle.

As my maternal uncle lives with us, we do the respective work properly, like cooking. I never asked for anything such as money for shopping as I asked from father. My whole day is fully planned. I remain busy in completing tasks. Such a routine has changed the mood and me. I do not know why — but I am becoming more silent every day. It may be due to the pressure of societal norms. I do not demand anything, never argue for things, but follow the orders of my uncle and family members. My ethics do not allow me to speak in front of elders. I think — if I utter any word, people will say that we forget the favors of our uncle. To overcome societal questions, I prefer to stay silent.

Certainly, this silence, horrifies me. Sometimes, I feel suffocation at home. The environment has had a significant impact on me. It does not allow me to live the life of my dreams. I’ve been living at home for about a year. I tried different ways to overcome my thoughts, but failed to do so. Instead of getting out, I stuck with this new issue.

Here is an example:

One day, we were doing dinner at home. We (sisters) served the food to other family members and then sat back, to start our meal. A little cousin demanded water. At that time, my aunt said, “why you people do not do your little work. They are your sisters, and it does not mean you will keep ordering the things. Sometimes, try to do your work such as drink water, and eating food. They are the human beings, and get tired with house chores.”

After listening to such remarks from the aunt, our maternal uncle states, “why are you saying such words. What is the work of a woman? She is there to do home tasks. It is their duty to serve us.”

I experienced a quiet heartbreak after hearing such statements. I wished my father was alive. If he was among us, he will never utter such words. Well, I got depressed, as I could not speak in front of them. I quickly finished the dinner and went back to the room. I sit silently and start to lament life. Not only this, but I wished to have a father alive. I could not do anything, so random thoughts started to burst into my mind. The questions like —

What is hell is this comment?
Why is he (maternal uncle) doing so with us?
Are we dummies who are there to follow the orders, as well as listen to the harsh remarks?
Is it true a woman have only this thing to do?
Will we remain in a constrained life?
Why should men always direct women?
If a woman’s work is to follow man’s orders, then what is the work of a man — 0nly rule, criticize, and give order?
For how long, will I stay in such an environment?
Will I ever get a chance to present my perspective? I think a big NO.

After a few minutes of self-questioning, I decided to let things go. I let the random thoughts down as if they are useless and only ruin my complicated life.

I decided to share my heart with you people so that I feel free. Likewise, I know there are a lot of people who have a similar mind like my maternal uncle. The rest of the people will stand along with me — whom they will call feminist.

Now, guys, suggest to me what is wrong with the comment — “what is the work of woman?” Am I a victim of overthinking? Or is there something wrong with the remark? Am I feminist, or uncle is patriarchal?

I know everyone has a different perspective about the same thing. Let me know, what do you think about this issue. I do not have a broad perspective about life, but what I share in my writing are the words of my heart. Whatever I think and experience, I share with others. I know, that writing will not sort out real life, but does lighten the heart.

I am thankful to Medium for a lovely platform. Where I can share anything. It gives me freedom of speech and increases my contact. It heals my bruised heart. Furthermore, it has given me the power to speak. I will stay in touch with writing for as long as I can.

You will surely like the following story.

Why Is She Constantly Thought to Be Filthy and Disgusting?

She is like everyone else, except — a Creole girl.

medium.com

Thank You

Dear reader, you can sign up to medium membership with my referral link and share your experiences.