What is the most important lesson we can teach our children?

I was a primary school teacher for a while, and I absolutely loved it! However I left because I was not allowed to do the job I loved doing. I wasn’t able to meet the children where they were, to work with them to create opportunity and possibility where they could learn in an environment that was devoid of testing and competition. I felt restricted and pushed into a box known as the National Curriculum. We were told to follow it slavishly otherwise when the inevitable Ofsted inspection (a term that still makes me shudder) came we were seen to be covering all bases. Or more accurately, covering our backs. Being seen to tick all the boxes seemed to be the most important thing for us to do.

Quoted in Huffington post -the CBI (confederation of British Industries) said

“decades of ‘patchwork’ reforms have confused schools, encouraged a tick box culture that has put off teachers and resulted in a narrow focus on exams and league tables”

Sadly although that was written in 2012 the situation now is no better.

As teachers we found weekends were lost to planning and evenings were lost to ticking boxes, and I don’t necessarily mean marking the children’s homework. The culture we had slowly declined into was creating safe yet boring, uninspired teaching and I hated it.

To acquire knowledge is the most fascinating journey. To then understand how to utilise that knowledge is empowering and satisfying. Yet our children are coming out of school feeling bored, frustrated, and worse — stupid. There is no dispute — we are failing them. Organisations such as the CBI are understandably focusing on the skills that are transferable to business such as leadership and management, however I believe that there are more fundamental skills that will better equip our children for life outside the world of education. Skills that currently teachers are ill equipped to teach themselves and indeed even teacher training facilities seem unaware of the gravity of the omission.

We are not teaching our children how to communicate effectively, how to listen with a view to grasp understanding or how to think without pre conceived influences affecting their ability to grow. They leave school feeling marginalised, confused, with a need to conform juxtaposed with a fundamental nature for excitement and adventure. Our current Millennials are leaving full time education with a mission to pay back a vast loan rather than a vision to take a risk, start a business, be entrepreneurial and change the world. On every level this is wrong.

Baiju Solanki said in the June edition of The Quest

‘when you have a system that encourages people to be the same, be secure and be safe it is not a society that will produce happy vibrant innovative people that will change the world. It is a system that produces people void of dreams, lacking enthusiasm and low creativity’

Is this what we truly want for the next generation?

Imagine for a moment a classroom where the fundamental ‘soft skills’ were taught. If children as young as 4 or 5 were shown how to truly listen to each other, to empathise, to understand the other person’s point of view. To be given tools to equip them with the best way to share their opinions and thoughts, to understand in its basic form how conflict resolution works. Imagine if they were given the opportunity to present themselves to their classmates. Not to stand and read aloud and be ridiculed for not being able to read well, but simply to stand and share their authentic self. Show and Tell may be in each classroom but the real, powerful, message is often lost when a teacher takes over a conversation in order to complete the lesson in time. How many really valuable lessons are lost simply because we have a bell to rule our time? As adults we do not respond to a bell, so why do we make our children?

How might it look if we threw out our conventional system and instead adopted radical new options to try on for size? How I would have loved to attend a school like the one Ricardo Semler describes here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y3nU3j_niU8 where children learn what they are actually interested in. Another great example is World Without Walls Green School in Bali. Who knows if these would translate into Britain, but unless we provide the space for possibility outside of the norm we will never know.

In my dreams I have built a school where children are listened to, where they find their own solutions, develop their ideas, supported in their learning in areas that aren’t necessarily on a curriculum. Where technology has its place but not every topic is centred round a white interactive board that is supposed to assist learning. Where teachers are allowed to try something new, look for growth through understanding and not from a series of tests. Every child has something special in them – their genius. Teachers –and by teachers I mean every adult, have a duty to bring that genius out of them so they can flourish, create possibility for themselves and others and grow. Exactly as a gardener would nurture the best rose so too should we nurture that genius.

I am not saying that there aren’t teachers out there already who do just that. I applaud them! However I know that they are not always supported in their ideas, are restricted by attainment targets, where weeks of a curriculum can be swept aside to hot house in readiness for SATS – which in truth puts immense pressure on children and staff alike. What would it look like if creativity, ingenuity, diversity and empathy should be given equal billing with the 3 R’s?

Currently there is no space in each school day to allow for personal growth, communication on a deeper level, self-reflection, mindfulness, introspection. If a child was feeling fulfilled, listened to, understood and happy how much more would they be able to learn and absorb?

I remember one day when I was supporting another teacher and she was reprimanding a child for not having a pencil. The stress the teacher was under due to an Ofsted report and upcoming SAT’s exams spilled over into her teaching. I had to intervene and later sadly had to tell her that once a child is in tears it really isn’t necessary to carry on screaming at them. This seems like an extreme example, sadly it is not. I have no doubt that child will still be suffering repercussions of that encounter even though she is now an adult. How can any child be expected to learn under such circumstances? Who was at fault?

There has to be a better way.

The results of this type of education are evident. As a business owner I have employed many young people to support me. When they first arrive I am often astounded at their lack of enthusiasm and drive. Lacking ambition or even a simple dream they drift aimlessly from day to day not realising that it is their time being wasted. They have learned by default of years at school to get by, do the minimum, just enough to keep out of trouble. Often the conversations around integrity, ambition and life goals are met with a blank stare. Believing that they are incapable they resign themselves to the world of virtual reality computer games – another reality where they can escape. Where did their genius go? Who was responsible for their light being dimmed?

Where will these young people end up if they know nothing of how to communicate, how to develop true understanding, bond friendships with compassion and love?

It’s not all doom and gloom. There is far more education available now than when I went to school. The Internet provides parents with seemingly infinite knowledge that can be shared with their children. Places like MindValley.com. although focused on adults has a massive library of resources to support parent, teachers and children’s learning. It is easier now to home school your child because of the availability of such resources.

When I was looking for schools for my children in the 1990’s I knew that wherever they went they would have the opportunity for a better education than I had. I went to one of the first comprehensive schools and was lucky to come out with any qualifications at all - although in the east end of London I felt I came out fully qualified in the university of life. We must remember how far we have come and that parents no longer have to abdicate responsibility to the teachers for educating their child, as happened in the past. I knew that no matter what education my child received they were only in school for 30 hours a week – I had them for the rest of the time and would ensure they experienced everything they needed to support their talents. Our children’s education is a three way commitment Parent/Child/ Teacher and as long as they work together, in collaboration for a unified goal then even ‘The System’ cannot stop the desire for excellence.

We therefore do not have to rely solely on what the state provides. Schools are an excellent place for children to socialise and learn independence, but they also have to be a space where success is not measured in ticked boxes or correct exam papers. Success is a well-rounded individual who understands that collaboration will get them further, listening and communicating clearly will empower them and helping others is the gateway to fulfilment.