What is Living With Endometriosis
We do not fake being sick, we fake being well
I have been suffering from a chronic illness called Endometriosis for a decade, as you may imagine I have learned many things, I have gone through hell, I have really bad days and really good ones, I’m pretty sure I can write about it more than anything else and even with so much to say I had doubts on writing this, mostly because sometimes when you’re honest about how bad is and can be your illness people just say “you’re being pessimist” but not, I’m not, I’m being realistic.
If you haven’t heard of it before, Endometriosis happens when endometrial-like tissue grows outside of the uterus on other areas of the body such as fallopian tubes, ovaries, diaphragm, bladder, bower, etc. The symptoms can vary and there are also asymptomatic cases. It normally takes years to be diagnosed since everybody including doctors dismiss our pain.
Living with endometriosis or any condition that causes chronic pain will greatly impact your life from social interactions, relationship, work, etc.
People living with chronic pain often compare their lives to a roller coaster ride. There are good days when they feel uplifted and in control, followed by bad days when their mood sinks and they feel helpless — Mayo Clinic on Chronic Pain
What is like living with Endometriosis?
Living with Endometriosis is waiting for years for a diagnosis, feeling exhausted, frustrated and defeated.
Living with Endometriosis is crying alone until you fall asleep because you feel you can not continue like this. You just feel sick of being sick.
Living with Endometriosis is feeling your body hates you and it is fighting against you but you don’t find a way to win this battle. Later you learn your body is not the enemy but it feels like this sometimes.
Living with Endometriosis is waking up feeling tired because you spent time of your night awake due to the pain.
Living with Endometriosis is to accept you won’t probably have a family since it can cause infertility and if you still can have a kid, you will be worried of doing it because you’re afraid of them getting the same disease from you.
Living with Endometriosis is having to make decisions like “live in pain” or “live with numerous side effects from treatments” which sometimes I feel are worse than the pain itself.
Living with Endometriosis is going to vacay and the first thing to pack is your heating pad and medication because you are afraid of having a crisis that prevents you from having fun.
Living with Endometriosis is to stop eating things you like or doing it at your own risk because your body will take its toll on you later.
Living with Endometriosis is dealing with people giving you advice on how to manage your disease when they don’t even understand it.
Living with Endometriosis is to hear frequently phrases like “You don’t look sick”, “At least it is not deadly”, “You should have kids now before it gets worse”.
Living with Endometriosis is being totally fine one minute and crying five minutes later with unbearable pain.
Living with Endometriosis is being dismissed by doctors telling you “you’re a woman, pelvic pain is normal” or “you are just seeking attention”.
Living with Endometriosis is to celebrate when you don’t have pain two days in a row.
Living with Endometriosis is being anxious when going out because pain can hit in any moment.
Living with Endometriosis is putting your dreams on hold to manage your illness.
Living with Endometriosis is being afraid to talk about it because people think you want their pity.
But…
Living with Endometriosis is also to know you’re stronger than you thought.
Living with Endometriosis is having virtual sisters in social media who understands you and supports you more than any close person.
To all the Endo Warriors out there, I see you, I know it hurts physically and emotionally but don’t give up on yourself, be your greatest advocator.
