Summary

Gaslighting is a manipulative tactic that causes individuals to question their own sanity, often leading to severe mental health consequences, as exemplified by the extreme case of Betty Broderick.

Abstract

Gaslighting is a psychological manipulation technique that induces an individual to doubt their own perceptions or sanity. The term has gained prominence in media discussions, and its effects are illustrated through the story of Betty Broderick, whose real-life marital struggles with her husband Dan, who cheated and emotionally abused her, culminated in a tragic outcome. Gaslighting, as a form of emotional abuse, erodes a person's self-confidence and can exacerbate underlying mental health issues. The article references the Netflix series "Betty" to provide a narrative example of gaslighting, highlighting how Betty's intuition was repeatedly dismissed by Dan, contributing to her escalating distress and eventual violent actions. The article also lists signs of gaslighting, such as frequent self-doubt, confusion, and apologies, suggesting that recognizing these can be crucial in addressing such harmful relationships.

Opinions

Gaslighting is a serious issue that can lead to significant mental health deterioration.
The show "Betty" is considered a good representation of the effects of gaslighting.
The real Betty Broderick's case is an extreme example of the consequences of gaslighting when combined with other mental health issues.
Gaslighting is not just a minor disagreement but a persistent pattern of behavior that undermines a person's reality and self-worth.
Recognizing the signs of gaslighting is essential for individuals to identify and address the issue in their relationships.
The article implies that gaslighting is a form of emotional abuse that should be taken seriously and not trivialized.

What is Gaslighting? Prey or Victim?

We see the term Gaslighting/Gaslit getting used a lot in mainstream media right now. But, what exactly is Gaslighting?

Gaslighting is to manipulate (someone) by psychological means into doubting their own sanity. It makes you question your own judgment or reality if you are a victim of Gaslighting.

To understand this better let’s take an example of two friends, Barney and Ted, Barney made a comment that hurt Ted’s feelings and he tells Barney, but Barney responds by saying I wasn’t being rude you are being sensitive.

These are mundane examples that don’t seem to matter in a bigger picture, but Gaslighting can have severe consequences on one’s mental health because it’s a form of emotional abuse. It builds up over time decapitating your sense of self.

If the content above doesn’t make any sense, a show that captures this is Netflix’s Betty.

The show is based on real-life events of Betty Broderick’s life where a young couple Betty and Dan met in their youth, fell in love, and got married. The couple struggled a lot and Betty was Dan’s main support. She supported him when he graduated as a Doctor and when he decided to go to Law school. Despite everything, she continued to support him. The couple got out of their rut and started to live a pretty comfortable life.

So, what happened? It boils down to a lot of things, but the aspect of gaslighting comes in when Dan starts to cheat on Betty. To not dwell on the details, Betty does suspect something is going between Dan and his new assistant. For two years he denies, plans to leave Betty while keeping her in the dark the whole time.

The real Betty Broderick suffered from other mental health issues as well and “being gaslit by her husband created a loss of control for her, which exacerbated her underlying issues,” according to Tarra Bates-Duford, a forensic psychologist specializing in severe mental illness as well as a marriage and family therapist.

Again, I can’t spoil the ending because everything has already happened, Betty ended up killing Dan and his new, younger wife. Betty’s case is an extreme case of gaslighting coupled with various issues that culminating in a tragedy.

Betty’s intuition told her that something was happening between her husband and his assistant, but her husband’s refusal to acknowledge that truth and implying that “she was being crazy” is gaslighting.

Invalidating the other person’s feelings about a situation is telling them that their perceptions are wrong. This makes the other person feel that they may be “imagining things” “making up” scenarios that don’t exist, when in all reality, what that person is feeling or experiencing is real.

Vox news compiled a list to recognize if gaslighting is happening to you, and if this list resonated with you then you may be involved in a gaslighting relationship that needs to be addressed.

· You ask yourself, “Am I too sensitive?” many times per day.

· You often feel confused and even crazy in the relationship.

· You’re always apologizing.

· You can’t understand why you aren’t happier.

· You make excuses for your partner’s behavior.

· You know something is wrong but you don’t know what.

· You start lying to avoid put-downs and reality twists.

· You have trouble making simple decisions.

· You wonder if you are good enough.

Some common phrases you might hear from your gaslighter are:

· You’re so sensitive!

· You know that’s because you are so insecure.

· Stop acting crazy. Or: You sound crazy, you know that, don’t you?

· You are paranoid.

· You love trying to throw me off track.

· I was joking!

· You are making that up.

· It’s no big deal.

· You’re imagining things.

· You’re overreacting.

· You are always so dramatic.

· Don’t get so worked up.

· That never happened.

· You know you don’t remember things.

· There’s no pattern. Or: You are seeing a pattern that is not there.

· You’re hysterical.

· There you go again; you are so ungrateful.

· Nobody believes you, why should I?