What if Your Monday Morning Anxiety Could Mean This?

I notice the sensation in my chest first. That kind of tightening. Not enough to affect my breath, but an observable tension. It’s there when I wake, and sometimes it’s there as I complete the evening routine with my wife. Anxiety on the rise.

Over the last year, along with millions and millions of people, life has become increasingly uncertain. At times, that uncertainty has induced significant stress. The low point for me was October 2020, when loved ones, friends, and colleagues all reported that they were gravely concerned about my wellbeing. Soon after I received a clinical diagnosis of chronic stress and acute depression — related largely to ‘environmental stimuli’, such as the prolonged uncertainty of life and work conditions impacting myself, my family, my team and the business I lead.

During my journey to overcome these conditions, I began a journalling process with an app-based CBT platform. Having failed for years to keep a handwritten journal, it’s been interesting how stacking this new habit to less productive established ones has created a positive affect (see my next article on nudges) Over the last 200 days I’ve made a morning entry in my journal 198 times. The observations of that data show a predictable trend — my anxiety peaks on a Monday morning.

Feeling anxious in anticipation of the week

I began paying serious attention to this experience around 4 months ago. Why was this still happening? At this time, none of our major markets were in extended lockdowns. Business was good and family life outstanding. I love my work; I have the honour of leading the best team I’ve ever worked with and I welcome the opportunity every single time I and the team get to impact the life of a leader within our clients. Why was I feeling anxious about beginning the week?

It was only after my own considerations had left me sort of an answer and I shared my experience with a psychologist that I received a different way of thinking about this sensation, which allowed me to reframe, reset and lean into this experience.

Reframing discomfort, resetting the relationship, and leaning in a calling that takes you to the edge of your comfort zone.

The question I was asked was this — “What if your anxiety is not based on any fear of something you hesitate to do, but discomfort of challenging yourself so much during the work week?”. The discussion that followed progressed like this. I’ve made a significant effort to cleanse my weekend of work, having transitioned from a close-to-burnout state of working 7 days a week to a more regular 5 days, and also focused on being entirely present with my family on the weekend.

The transition from a complete comfort state at home back into work, even though right now that’s at the end of the same building in my home-workspace, is naturally going to induce a shift in emotions as I’m moving into a place of less comfort. Time with your family should always feel less challenging than time at work.

One of the observations by the psychologist over our time together is that I don’t just work — I strive. As a purposeful person leading a purpose-led business (to enable leaders to create our better world) we rise into the work week not just to turn up, but to show up with all of ourselves, pushing the boundaries of our own capabilities as we do.

What if the question was repeated and reframed, this constant pushing of the boundaries was enough to induce this increased anxious state? And what if that kind of discomfort is not just okay, but a really, really good thing? A positive indication of striving, of not being complacent or content with ‘good enough’?

I had not thought about this state that way at all until these questions were asked. Which led me to think, what if this is true for others? That those of us who consider ourselves to be ‘of purpose’, to be following a calling to do and be more, maybe many others, were experiencing a heightened anxiety too.

Having had this realisation, and explored this in conversations with colleagues and teammates, I’m writing this in the hope that this realisation, along with some of the suggestions below might be of benefit to others who experience the same effect of the flow of emotions following shifts in focus between home and work.

Don’t question what you’re doing, ask why.

Each time this sensation rose in my chest, initially I did ask myself — “Does this mean I’m doing the right work? I’m running my own company, with a team and client list I’ve built, if I’m anxious does this mean I need to do something else?” Reframing as I have outlined above has helped me to realise the answer to these introspective examinations is no, and the answer is in the why rather than the what.

My why has not shifted in years, potentially decades. What has changed is the depths to which I’ve connected with it. The what might be causing the anxiety because I’m pushing the limits all the time, but that always reflects the why, the purpose to help leaders create our better world.

This alignment to purpose, and to my and the company's values (which include courage and commitment) reassure me that these brief but regular encounters with discomfort and beneficial in the long run, manageable in the short term and informative in the medium term.

Do. Breathe. Do again.

To offer a few specific tips along with the revelation of my realisation, the greatest two I’ve discovered involve a positive habit stack and a breathing technique.

The first of these pairs is now well established, so I can report a very real benefit. 200 days, to be precise. This is the beneficial process of priming myself with a nudge to stack a new, positive habit against an established, less productive one. I’m guilty of checking my phone pretty much as soon as I’m out of bed. I don’t keep the phone by my bed (see my article on sleep practices here which includes this) but the device still gets to my hand as soon as I’m into the next room.

Recognising that this habit was locked in, rather than try to shift away from it I’ve moved into making this productive. The first thing I do each morning is open the journaling app and make an entry. Then I do a breathing exercise, also app based on the phone. After this, if I create enough space in the day, I do a 10–15min yoga practice, also app based. Once these are complete, more often than not, my habitual phone stimulation is satiated and I’m far less likely to open email, LinkedIn or Instagram. A positive habit stack.

The second pair is heart-felt breathing. This technique I’ve been exploring with one of my colleagues, a HeathMath certified coach, and I’ve found this practice to be rejuvenating and revitalising overall, and very effective at discharging any anxiety. Essentially, the technique is to concentrate on your heart as you inhale and exhale, a subtle but significant shift in intention and focus. A series of deep breath cycles over a couple of minutes is sufficient to shift emotions and physical sensations of the emotions, either in anticipation of or response to a shift in emotive state. You can read more about this practice at the HeartMath site here.

One final suggestion would be to find a means to measure and observe your anxiety, especially if the level is pronounced at a certain time. This practice of documenting by itself can be beneficial, and I’ve found the combination with reframing, resetting, leaning into the discomfort of calling and these two techniques (one of which could be your record of measurement) to be really progressive in shifting both the experience of anxiety and my relationship to it.

Progress and sitting with discomfort

I’m pleased to report that over the last few months since being gifted this realisation, my anxiety on Monday mornings has reduced. It’s there ever so slightly as I write this now — yes, on a Monday morning. However, it’s completely manageable, actually at the point where I welcome it as I embrace the discomfort of leaning into my calling, pursuing my purpose and living my values.

I hope that if you’ve read all the way to this point that this article has been of some interest and potential use.

Be well, lead well and keep on striving to create our better world.

Tim

I’ve been writing about wellbeing in the context of leadership performance since 2017. If you’d like to read, watch or listen to my thoughts, observations and reflections on sleep, nutrition, movement and stress, you can head over to the Leadership Wellbeing section of 4iLeadership.com