What Idea Is Keeping You Small?
Stop holding yourself back and let it go.
Do you have a dream?
How long have you had that dream?
What have you done to get closer to achieving that dream?
Do you genuinely believe that you can achieve it?
Let’s start with a few home truths :
- The longer you have had the dream without taking action, or the longer you have ignored it, the less likely you will ever achieve it.
- You can spend as much time as you like visualising it, talking about it and putting it up on your vision board, but you will never achieve it unless you start taking action.
- Maybe you are someone who has a secret dream, one that you never even admit to yourself. The kind of dream that niggles at you in the background, that you try to ignore whilst telling yourself you do not need anything more than you have.
- It doesn’t matter what the dream is nor how much you push it away. If it comes from the heart, it will never disappear, but it will never appear unless you start taking action.
I am sure you would love to do something about it — start a new career or business, embark on a healthy lifestyle, meet “the one”, start a new hobby, learn something new, leave a relationship, or travel. Still, there seems to be an invisible barrier that is in the way, stopping you in your tracks and providing excuses that facilitate giving up or not starting.
That barrier keeps you small and invisible. It keeps you in your comfort zone, and you probably like it there. It is risk-free, comfortable, easy and most likely a bit dull, frustrating and disappointing. However, you know what to expect; there are no surprises.
How will you feel when yet another year goes by, and you have done nothing to get closer to your dream?
I know it’s scary, I know it’s a risk, I know you don’t know where to start, and I also know that if you never start, you will regret it.
So please take a deep breath and let go of whatever is keeping you small because you are destined for big things; we all are.
You will not be able to let go of this idea overnight. It has probably been around for a long time and is, by now, ingrained into your everyday thoughts. These ideas that are holding you back are known as limiting beliefs.
Firstly, before we deal with your limiting beliefs, you need to be clear on what it is you dream of, and you need to admit this dream to yourself. You don’t need to justify it, rationalise it or explain it, this is your dream, and it is perfectly valid, as long as it comes from your heart.
So many of us cling to unfulfilled dreams that aren’t even our own. They are what our family, friends, colleagues, peers, teachers and society have placed upon us. Therefore, your first step in letting go is to realise your true, heartfelt dream that, when indulged in, can evoke strong emotions. Let go of what everyone is telling you you should want; stop listening to your head chatter and listen to your heart and gut instead. Feel your dream, don’t just think it.
Where do limiting beliefs come from?
Our beliefs start from birth and constantly evolve, changing shape with every new situation and circumstance. Those things we hear, see and experience repeatedly form strong beliefs.
As adults, we operate within the limits of our self-image. This image has developed over time due to other people’s opinions, reactions, guidance, praise and criticism. Parents and teachers tend to significantly impact our beliefs due to the repetition we hear from them, the length of time we spend with them and the age from which we are provided with their opinions.
Our self-image is a general accumulation of every attitude and opinion we have been told about ourselves since birth and has become ingrained due to reinforced repetition. This image forms our belief system, which determines our comfort zone and affects how we respond to life and what we believe we can achieve.
Limiting beliefs are those beliefs that are holding us back and keeping us small, such as :
- Too fat to exercise / too unfit to go to the gym.
- Never be able to afford that / I never have enough money.
- Making money is hard work / you have to graft to make money.
- I am not good enough / I will never be good enough.
- I fail at everything / I am not good at anything.
- Everything goes wrong / nothing ever goes right.
- Life is hard / life is a struggle.
- Love is full of heartache / I don’t deserve to be loved.
- Just my luck / those successful people are just lucky.
- Too good to be true / things are too good; something will go wrong.
- Rich people are selfish/poor people are more down-to-earth.
So what idea is keeping you small? I bet you have more than one!
What things do you say to yourself in the context of what makes you feel unable to do something? Why do you feel unsure of yourself?
What quickly knocks your confidence?
What beliefs make you feel helpless and stop you from moving forward?
Here are some common ideas that keep us small and invisible :
Fear-based — fear of success (if I am successful, I might change), failure (failure means that I am stupid), what others will think (I don’t want them to dislike me), the amount of time and hard work it will take (I don’t have enough time).
You are stuck in a negative-biased, “what-if” mindset.
Identity — seeing yourself as someone broke, overweight, a failure, a loser, not good at something, unlucky, or too busy.
You are stuck in a lack, struggle or hustle mindset.
The key to becoming aware of what is holding you back is approaching this self-awareness stage with curiosity.
Don’t beat yourself up for beating yourself up! You have not done anything wrong. It is simply the way it has been for a long time, and through this emerging wisdom, you are now putting yourself in a position where you can change your path. This is precisely the right time for you to be doing this.
The second step is to work out where these limiting beliefs came from.
Consider your references to this belief — your childhood, role models, experiences and situations. What messages do you hear from people all the time? What circumstances do you find yourself in time after time? What experiences have you lived through that reinforce limitations, can’t do’s, struggles etc.?
Got all that written down?
Now, you’ve got to let it all go!
- Those ideas, thoughts, and beliefs are either false or no longer serve you. Meditation can help here — close your eyes and focus on your breathing to quieten down your chatter. Breathe in happiness, success and expansion and visualise your old ideas evaporating from your body as you breathe out.
- Come up with a few new thoughts and ideas that contradict the old ones and empower you to take action and move forward. Repeat, repeat, repeat. Your old ideas became beliefs by repetition of thought so they can be replaced in the same way.
- Regarding achieving your dream, goal or aspiration, stop trying to tackle the whole mountain in a few days. All you need to know is what your next couple of steps are, and as long as you make even a tiny pigeon step each day, that is enough.
Yep, it’s scary going for what you want. It’s scary even just admitting what you want! But you know what is even more frightening — the idea that five years on, you are STILL going to be right where you are now — small and invisible.
So let it go and trust that you know exactly what you are doing. You would not have that heartfelt dream if it were not possible in some shape or form.
Lisa x
