What I Wish Men and Women Knew About Each Other
Unfortunate common ground
Look, I am going to be real with you.
I am not going to pretend that I understand men. Not completely.
How could I relate fully to the male experience when I am not, in fact, a man?
However, this post isn’t about our differences as men and women. It’s about something that we have in common. And it’s something I have learned over and over again while discussing mental health with various members of both sexes.
And it’s an unfortunate one:
When we struggle — men and women alike — we often feel alone.
Completely alone.
Sadly, I think we’ve been tricked into not accepting this.
After all, women (as a generalization, of course) tend to be good at reaching out to others, to their social networks, when they are feeling lost. So, as a society, we have been conditioned to believe that this makes them feel more understood. Less adrift.
Men, on the other hand (from what I have been told), are committed to putting on a brave face and smiling as they struggle. This can cause outsiders to think that they have it all together — at all times. No sad face? No problem!
In both cases, we’re often wrong.
So what can we learn from acknowledging this?
Well, first of all, it helps us to know that we aren’t as different as we think. That we’re in this together.
And secondly, it can aid us in making fewer assumptions about one another. Maybe also feel less competition about “who has it the hardest”.
Because the truth is, we all have it hard.
It’s a tough world out there, and it only seems to be getting tougher.
I would love to see us — men, women, and others — supporting each other. Every day, yes, but especially during our times of trouble.
Let’s stop assuming that the other sex has it easier, and start coming together.
We may be able to help each other more than we think.
Pssst…I helped start a new publication. It’s a cohesive space for men and women to share our struggles together, and help understand each other better. I think you’d be a good fit. Check it out here! https://medium.com/what-the-f-k-did-you-say