What I Regret I Didn’t Do When I Went To University

One thing is that I didn’t graduate

I went to university for four years. It was the most fun I had had up to that point.

That was the problem. It was all play and no work.

At frosh week, which was a week for freshmen to acclimatize themselves to university life, the chancellor gave a speech in which he stated that there were some of us who would not graduate.

I purposed that I would not be one of them.

My family had immigrated to Canada from Kenya with the very purpose of ensuring that we had a good higher education. At that time, in 1985, being landed immigrants and with my parents still studying or engaged in minimum wage work, I was able to get my school fees fully paid by government grants.

Who wanted to disappoint their parents who left good jobs in Kenya and traveled thousands of kilometres to ensure that their five children could get the education they needed. I didn’t.

But I did.

Why?

Let me answer that question by telling you about what I regret I didn’t do when I went to university.

1. I majored in something I didn’t really want to.

As I was completing high school in Kenya I had made up my mind that I wanted to pursue architecture. I had taken a number of technical drawing courses which I enjoyed very much.

When we came to Canada I was pushed toward Computer Science. I was good in math and sciences and was told that IT was the wave of the future and I would be good at it.

I wasn’t. I didn’t understand it and my brain just wasn’t wired for that kind of thinking in programming. Even later on in life, I’ve tried to take some programming courses and gave up. I tried to learn Python online because it supposedly is one of the easier languages to learn. Not for me.

Majoring in Computer Science was a mistake I never recovered from.

2. I didn’t leave when I discovered that I wasn’t ready.

I should have left university after my first year, even if it was to take a year off to mature. I didn’t think I could. Not because there was something in my program or university stopping me.

I thought that my parents would be disappointed in me. They were proud that they had a son in university who was pursuing a worthy degree. For an African family education was very important. It was considered a privilege not to be taken lightly. There were many who would gladly take my place if they could.

My fears were unfounded. I had a sister who came after me who did quit university and went unbanished to our parent's bad books. It was all in my head and the end result was unfavourable.

After discovering that I was ineligible to graduate my parents were sympathetic. In consoling me my Dad partly blamed himself for not being able to help me. I totally misread my parents and should probably add that as another of my regrets.

Not leaving was a mistake that led to wasted years.

3. I didn’t work hard.

Who would if they were in a major that they didn’t enjoy or wasn’t good at. Well, some might but I’m not built that way. This is not an excuse. I’m just sayin’.

I went completely the other way. I partied at any opportunity.

I hardly worked on my courses. It was surprising that I passed any at all. I did work on my assignments but just what I needed to do. I studied for exams the night before, sometimes pulling all-nighters which I do not recommend doing. The fruit of the pudding is in my poor results.

As a result, I changed my major. Twice. I went from Computer Science to General Math to General Science.

All I wanted to do was graduate with something. I looked for a major that had a low requirement for graduation and General Science fit the bill. Even with that, because of my work ethic, or lack thereof, I failed.

There’s no substitute for hard work. I regret not knowing that sooner.

4. I didn’t seek help.

My parents didn’t know that I was struggling. I was an A-student in high school and the fact that I had become a D-student was shameful to me so I didn’t tell anyone.

My university had good help for those struggling with university life mentally or academically but I never took advantage of that. I didn’t think I had a problem. I was having a good time.

I wanted to figure it out on my own. I did well enough on some exams which gave me a false sense of turning things around. The thing is I didn’t do well in enough of them and my average kept dropping.

I wish I had sought help from my parents, classmates, professors, or counselors. God knows what might have happened if I had.

Conclusion

I went to college and pursued something else that I have been doing for 30 years. I considered trying Architecture again but didn’t really pursue that seriously. Similarly, I looked into seeing what it would take for me to graduate at this point. It is something that I think about once every ten years.

I have a wonderful relationship with Jesus Christ. I have an awesome wife of 26 years. I have three great children and one cute grandson. I have friends that I consider my brothers and sisters.

Why do I tell you that?

Because it all worked out in the end. It usually does. I didn’t dwell on my failed university journey.

I just started again.