What I Learned From Taking Better Advantage of Mornings

And from enjoying the morning light

Mornings have never been my brightest moment.

During high school, I had to wake up at 6 A.M. to take the bus and go to school.

While attending my bachelor’s degree classes, I had to wake up at 6.30 to drive to the nearest station and take the train to my university.

For all those years, mornings were nothing but a confusional rush, where I rolled around the house still half asleep, with swollen eyes, trying to eat breakfast while washing my face, and still being constantly late.

It was only during the years of my master’s degree that I discovered the beauty of mornings.

The fact was that, for the first time in my life, I lived nearby my school. I moved to the city where my university was located, since it was too far to reach every day by train, bus or car.

So, I learned that mornings could be more than what they had always been for me.

The chance to wake up a little later (at 7.30!), take things easier, live my mornings slowlier, sitting in the kitchen with a cup of hot tea, looking out of the window, enjoying the diffused, cold morning light that filled the room, making me feel full of expectations and optimism for the day ahead.

I kept up with this routine while working my first job, but then brutally quit once I lost it.

Since then, while slipping down the path of my mental health downfall, I found myself waking up later and later, feeling hopeless and hopeless each day.

Now, while striving to recover from a no-going-back-kind of breakdown, I fight each day to wake up, get up (not to be taken for granted) at a decent time, and get back to a more productive morning routine.

After doing my skincare (a very important part of life for me) and eating breakfast, the one thing I try to keep up with doing each morning is writing. About anything. I just take my feelings out of me and let them flow through my fingers, into my articles.

A very important role in how I feel in the morning is played by the kind of light that peeks through the window when I open my eyes. I personally prefer a morning light that’s colder, that comes from a sky full of clouds. Maybe it’s because, working inside of my home with my laptop, this makes me feel less guilty about not being outside, enjoying the sun. If it’s a bright, warm light, it makes me want to go outside rather than to stay inside working, and therefore I feel bad for two different reasons: because I don’t feel like going outside as a result of my mental illnesses, and because I want to stay inside and be productive with my writing.

So, a warmer light is best for the mood, but worst for productivity, while a colder one is best for productivity, but puts me in a 90’s movie kind of mood: great for writing inspiration, not so great for the way I feel.

But, either way, I do my best to enjoy soaking up the morning light while sipping my hot tea on the couch (I leave the only table we have in our studio apartment to my boyfriend, who works a full-time job), trying not to feel smashed by the day ahead before it even begins, but instead trying to find inspiration in the light.

© Francesca Dallaglio, 2021

VERY IMPORTANT DISCLAIMER: I am not, in any way, a doctor, a psychologist, a psychiatrist, or a medical expert of any kind, in any field. This article is not meant to suggest to you what to do or not to do with your mental health nor your health in general, it is not meant to define what type of behavior or what choices are best. That said, if you’re struggling with mental issues or with any other health-related issues, PLEASE, SEEK PROFESSIONAL HELP. Take this story for what it is: my very personal story. This means that your experience (past, present, or future) with mental health and health in general could be completely different from mine. This is just my story.