What I Learned Flying to Japan with Two Strangers
It was one of the most terrifying but most pivotal moments of my life
Most people don’t really learn independence until it’s their only choice. Until they move away from home for the first time or they’re in a position where they have to act as the “adult,” true independence isn’t necessary. As a result, they don’t use it.
As I grew up I had many experiences where I learned the basics of independence, and going away to college was certainly a big moment of growth. However, even in college my mom was only a phone call away. There was a health center on campus, and I had easy access to any material thing I needed. There wasn’t much I had to figure out on my own besides what to cook for dinner.
Traveling to a foreign country where I didn’t speak the language and didn’t know the currency was pivotal to my growth, and it altered my confidence for the better.
I was 20 years old when I flew across the world to Japan. Old enough that I shouldn’t be that scared right? To be honest, I was terrified. I had never been out of the country by myself and the kicker was, on this trip, I went with two strangers.
Let me explain.
The long story short is that I had applied to attend a student conference through my university. It happened to be held in Japan that year. I, along with two other students, won the essay competition and our flights were booked. The entire conference was just 10 days long. But, as our flight was paid for, we decided to go a week earlier to see more of the country as opposed to just the university we would be attending.
The three of us met on campus so that we could fill out paperwork. The second time we saw each other was at the airport minutes before boarding our flight.
The Preparation
I don’t want anyone to get the wrong impression. I was SO excited for this trip and so grateful to have been selected. But it didn’t eliminate the anxiety I felt. I did as much research as I could, examining how to use the transportation system, how to order at a restaurant, where we would stay, and what we wanted to see while we were there.
We each bought a two week unlimited train ticket to get around, booked our stays in hostels, exchanged some money, and researched how to exchange more money once we got to the country with our respective banks/credit cards.
But no matter how much preparation we did, we couldn’t learn the entire language before hand and we certainly couldn’t learn what exactly to expect. I think I was most apprehensive about not speaking Japanese. I was a writing major in college and I understood the value of communication.
If you can communicate, you can find an answer to anything you need. If you can’t communicate, this is much more difficult. I also knew this obstacle would be amplified because I wouldn’t have a phone that operated in the country.
In other words, there were some things we just couldn’t prepare for prior to the flight. We just had to experience them once we landed.
The Lessons
Here are a few things this trip taught me about life, and about personal growth.
1. You will figure it out
First and foremost, I learned that if you have no other choice but to figure it out, you will figure it out. One night we spent hours wandering the streets in the pitch black and pouring rain trying to find our hostel. The streets were deserted and there was no one around to ask for help. We had no choice but to find it. It was essentially that or sleeping on the streets. I was finally able to locate it by using my Google Maps app without internet, by moving the phone and following our little blue dot to see what direction we were traveling.
Preparation is important but the unexpected will happen, and you will find a way to work through it, especially when there is no other choice.
2. It’s okay to ask for help
Learning independence doesn’t mean you can’t ask for help. We had to ask for directions, ask for help understanding menus, and ask for help understanding what the admissions costs were for various museums and gardens. Most of the time people will tell you if you are doing something wrong and correct you, trust me.
You’re not supposed to know everything in the world, even if you are not navigating a foreign country. We weren’t designed that way. Everyone needs help sometimes, no matter your level of independence. I have always been bad at asking for assistance, but being in a foreign country made me realize I sometimes really didn’t have a choice in the matter. Sometimes it’s just necessary. You ask, or you screw up. Those are the options.
Many of the times we asked for help were when we were unsure of which train we had to take to get to our next destination. If we got on the wrong one we could be hours away from where we needed to be without shelter that night. The decision to ask sometimes becomes essential.
3. You’re not alone, ever
Even when you don’t speak the same language, there are always ways to communicate. I downloaded a translation app on my phone prior to getting to the country and I always had a pocket dictionary on me. We used hand gestures, facial expressions, and body language to get around in addition to the few sentencees of Japanese we knew.
We also used each other. Despite not knowing each other prior to the journey, my two counterparts and I knew we had to work together to make it through those two weeks.
No matter what kind of situation you are in, or what country you are in, there are ways to communicate with others and find the information you need.
You are never alone, even if you feel as though you are.
Sometimes you may have to rely on the help or knowledge of strangers. This doesn’t mean blindly trust, but lean on others when you need it. My travel partners and I took turns being the “leader” if you will. One would take the lead navigating our travel one day, and the next someone else would take over. We utilized each other to prevent burnout, and asked each other for help when we needed it. By the end of the trip, we had become friends.
4. Life lessons are best learned through living
No matter how much I tried to anticipate how I would feel and what I would experience during this trip, I would never truly understand until I had gone and come back.
We can learn from the mistakes of others, sure. I received lots of advice from my parents prior to the trip, and as they have traveled all over the world they had valuable advice to give. But no matter what they taught me before I left, I wouldn’t actually develop the life skills until I did it on my own.
The Takeaway
The only way to really get out of your comfort zone is to get out of your comfort zone. I’m not saying you need to fly all the way across the world with two people you don’t know in order to do that, but find something that scares you and force yourself to do it.
There was a part of me that was so anxious the week of the trip that I wanted to cancel. But I knew I would never forgive myself for giving up that kind of opportunity.
Sometimes you have to literally make yourself take the leap and not look back. Once I got on that plane, there was no going back until my return flight and if I hadn’t gotten onboard I don’t think my growth as a person would have been as exponential that year.
Growth is not always comfortable, but sometimes being uncomfortable is necessary, and the outcome will be worth it.
Sign up for our newsletter to stay informed with up-to-date curations from our editors:👇
