What Harry Doesn’t Realise is The Media is Using Him

He thinks it’s a weapon, but it’s a noose.

The Sussexes claimed they didn’t want media attention. That’s what started all of this. They were running from all the bad press. They want media attention, but only if they can write it themselves.

I have no sympathy.

Harry says he wants reconciliation with his brother and father. How will airing his petty grievances and childish whinges globally help? These are the sorts of discussions you have privately. How will his family ever be able to trust him again?

Short answer — they won’t. They will never be able to have a safe and private discussion again because if Harry doesn’t like what he hears, he’ll be out there telling the world about every detail and perceived slight. He has weaponised the US media.

Harry says he left a lot of material out of his book because he was concerned his father and brother would never forgive him if he made it public. Really? That shows some awareness of the problem, but he went ahead with the rest.

“Kensington Palace and Buckingham Palace have said they will not comment on the contents of the book”, to quote the Guardian. Of course not. They don’t want to have this conversation in public. [Note — palaces can’t really talk. This use is the Brit way of referring to the royal families. Prince William lives in Kensington Palace; King Charles at Buckingham Palace.]

The global media is not the place for family healing. Asking the media to be the moderator in this stoush is like trusting a 200kg gorilla to look after your banana.

Harry, dear Harry, media presenters and book publishers are not your friend. They are there for a purpose — to provoke attention — to be controversial — to bring an audience. They act out of self-interest. I’m not being judgemental here — that is their business model. If you think they have your interests at heart, you are wrong.

The downside of putting all your grievances out there for people to judge for themselves is that they will do just that. The Sussexes initially cried foul with how the media treated them — particularly the British press. That may have been true. I think they got some sympathy for this originally. (I’m not a monarchist and do not live in Britain, but I have two British parents, and I live in the Commonwealth, but the press here is not as feral as in the UK.)

Unfortunately, the US press has convinced him he should “tell all”. This tactic was never going to work. It has revealed an ugly side of Harry we hadn’t seen before. There is a reason why the British royal family remains aloof and keeps their inner workings private. They have learnt over the centuries that keeping their daily actions and thoughts secret keeps the public awe and respect intact.

Harry and Meg have blown this wide open. The world now sees the royals as ordinary families with everyday jealousies and quarrels. They are just like everyone else. Who would have thought? If Harry aimed to reunite with his family, he did everything wrong. Every example of ordinary family disagreements and brotherly scuffles he gives damages the monarchy, to the detriment of his family and the monarchy as a whole — perhaps, even all monarchies.

Worse still, Harry has revealed that he is an entitled brat and a jealous younger brother. He really couldn’t have been paying attention during his upbringing. Of course, the future King was — and will always — be treated differently. He must have been a poor learner.

He just needed to look to his aunts and uncles (ignoring, for the moment, the poor judgements of Andrew) to see how other “spares” have gone on to accept their positions and work tirelessly for this thing called the monarchy. They have given every appearance of being in lockstep with the sovereign. To support and stoically accept, and in return, earn the respect of the people. They see it as their duty for the incredibly fortunate position into which they have been born.

Not young Harry. He is now coming across as an ungrateful, whinging Pom. (Excuse the local colloquialism, which was rife here a few decades back, but Australian readers will understand.)

Just look back one generation. Harry’s great-aunt Margaret had a terrible life. She had the right to complain, but she didn’t — not publicly. She rebelled privately, but she had a reason. She was not allowed to marry her true love. The Queen told Margaret she must forego love in favour of family honour (as misguided as that is). Margaret took it stoically but never really recovered.

In contrast, Harry married the person of his choosing, despite some apparent family questioning. He doesn’t express any gratitude for that. I don’t know if that family questioning came from racism, but I suspect not. I feel it was much more likely some doubt over Ms Markle’s understanding of the necessary sacrifices and the behaviours expected of “working royals”. This scepticism proved correct, as Meg now ridicules some royal practices and completely lacks understanding. Perhaps she thought she could single-handedly change royal traditions. Maybe she thought the old fuddy-duddies needed a new young outsider to help them!?

Harry clashed with his brother over who could call Africa their own. Really? Patronising and colonialism “gone to hell”. I assume this passion for Africa is a yearning for recognition, if only from his mother. Diana undertook a great deal of humanitarian work in Africa. Boys! There is plenty more that both of you can do!

Did the world need to know that William is circumcised? Wtf?

Jealously that his brother, the future King, and his wife, who both undertake full-time royal duties, live in a spacious and well-appointed residence is understandable. However, they should not have been surprised. The media reports that Meg was blown away by the décor and the grandeur of Kensington Palace. Possibly, she did not know that her sister-in-law Kate is very well-known for her taste and style. Compare this to Meg’s online purchase of a second-hand sofa and Ikea table lamps. Don’t be jealous; ask for help! Fact check: Harry is now 5th in line to the Crown.

The Sussexes complain about living in Nottingham Cottage. Diana lived there after her marriage broke down. Did she complain? William, Kate, and their son George lived there for two years before moving into Kensington Palace. Did they complain?

Harry and Meg were later given a much larger residence — Frogmore Cottage — a ten-bedroom, Grade II listed heritage house. The Sussexes converted it into a four-bedroom-and-nursery single-family home at a reported cost of £2.4 million from the public purse. Not something to be scoffed at. (They have since repaid the renovation costs and use the property as their home in the UK.) If Meg thinks the décor does not match that of Kensington Palace, she has no one but herself to blame.

If Harry truly wanted to lead his own life, he would denounce his title — their titles. But it was always about remaining The Sussexes! They initially tried to cash in on their royal titles by setting up a company to market “Sussex” memorabilia. The “firm” told them “No”.

It is all unfortunate. Harry is a troubled soul worthy of compassion, and my heart goes out to him. Losing your loving and caring mother at such an early age, especially in a family that generally seems to portray the old English values of putting on a “stiff upper lip” and “getting on with the job”, was always going to be traumatising. It was so sad.

Harry has taken on the underdog role, claiming to be wronged, misunderstood and neglected just like his mother. His mother was — Harry was not. I have to say, for all of the wrongs she experienced, Diana always seemed to respond with grace and elegance, characteristics beyond the nuances of young Harry.

What do they want? It is not to be ignored by the media. To achieve that would be easy. They could walk away and live their own private lives and use their wealth to do some real good in this world.

But they need more than that. They want approval. Harry says he wants family approval. However, what they are chasing is public approval. In this case, the two are mutually exclusive. They want to be media darlings, yet everything they do to pursue these aims harms the royal family.

If Harry honestly thought, “ If my family would listen and see my hurt, they would understand, “ he should have had those discussions with them directly and privately. Not with the whole world looking on and clambering for the next trivial bit of sensation. At best, he has won pity. Who wants that? Maybe only a damaged motherless, mummy’s boy.

Attempting to use the media to meet your ends is misguided and a losing game. Publicising your conflicts and lack of ability to resolve them only reveals your failings of character. Claiming to want to be free of the burdens of media scrutiny while simultaneously attempting to use the media to seek public approval reeks of being disingenuous and leads to mistrust.

I can’t help but think that Harry began to lose his way entirely when he connected with a media-craving B-listed actress who courted the media and actively worked her social media accounts. The mix of Meg’s naivety about the British royal family (maybe she saw it as an exciting new starring role) and her “influencer” lifestyle, together with Harry’s sense of entitlement without awareness and his desperate need for love and coddling, is unfortunate. It has resulted in an unlikeable whiney media-hungry couple. Neediness and a sense of entitlement without a clear life purpose.

So, who are the winners in all of this? The media, of course. Every fresh revelation titillates, and that is the fodder of the press. Only the media networks win.