What Happens When You Think of Life as a Grocery Store

And 4 things you can do for the optimal shopping experience.

Have you ever thought, the system we live in is inaptly designed?

The world has gotten this wrong?

Krishnamurti, a reputable Indian American philosopher, agrees with you;

It is no measure of health to be well-adjusted to a profoundly sick society.

Krishnamurti was advocating against spending our energy trying to adjust to the world, the system, to society, then judging ourselves as inadequate when we fail to do so.

A few contemporary philosophers tried to expand on this thought and pull on its thread. One of which was Charles Eisenstein.

Charles is a respected philosopher of life. He gives his perspective as, in summary: the system is set up wrong, so stop trying to adjust to it.

His view is, the system is set up well for you to succeed if you study ‘right’, get good marks, go to college, get a steady job, family, etc. If you do so, if you play by the rules, the world will work, you will be adjusted to this system.

If you are ‘different’, may it be through different skills, interests, societal backgrounds, then you fall out of the system. You might be left behind, you might get called lazy, or a slacker, you might get into unhealthy habits like excessive use of drugs, find yourself demotivated or depressed, anxious or afraid, and potentially resort to relying on medications to be ‘okay’ or ‘successful’.

Charles therefore concludes, the system is wrong, he wishes he can change it, senses a desire to get out of it, and to be liberated from it.

I see his point. We are on the same page when it comes to how the system is set up — optimized to the ‘average’.

However, I do not think we need to rid ourselves of it. On that, I would like to present another point of view.

Another view of the world system. Of how we measure ourselves and our adjustment.

Let’s view the world, as a grocery store.

Similar to how Charles describes himself, when I was a kid, I could’ve been described as a “weirdo”.

Simply put, I knew I was a bit different. Often frustrated at everything around me. Like many, I needed to understand the why behind everything — for me, in an obsessive way. I was often told to stop asking questions in class. If I did not agree with a teacher’s ask, I never did it. And got frequently punished for it at school.

Back then, I sometimes wished I had this magic ability to follow the rules, simply because the rules existed. It’s a skill, I admire it sometimes. Certainly keeps you out of trouble a lot more than I get into!

The task of philosophy is to cure people of such nonsense. . . . Nevertheless, wonder is not a disease.

I later started to understand. It is ‘wonder’ which keeps us going, which differentiates us from other animals, and which Alan Watts put more crudely differentiates “the intelligent or sensitive humans, from the morons”.

Some rules did not make sense to me, so I never followed them — not out of defiance, more out of confusion as to why they existed. And therefore, an inability to follow them. I was in an endless vortex of wonder in my head.

This is where Charles and I start to differ.

I was not sold on some rules, yet at the same time, I never got to the conclusion they should not exist.

I fully acknowledge the system is flawed — unconscious biases, built against minorities, and other aspects.

To me, the real flaw is the ruler by which we measure our success and happiness by. This is why, to me, I view the “system” as a grocery store.

It is up to each of us to decide what we buy and what we leave behind.

If you think of your experience in a grocery store:

• You are selective: When you walk into the aisles, you are aware that not every product will work for you; some products will work for you, others will not but will work for others.
• You know what you want: When you walk into a grocery store, you do not buy every product, it is not a realistic expectation of the grocery experience. You will buy only what you want.
• You are satisfied: If you see someone standing in front of you, in line to the cashier, with an item you did not grab, it does not mean you are less than them, that you deserve more or less than they do, or there is anything wrong with you.
• You know it is not tailored to you: If you have an allergy or specific food preference which most people might not have, you accept and acknowledge that the general store would have limited options for you. It is not ideal, yet it makes sense economically.

Your optimal experience, and expectation, of the visit is: to walk in, stroll through, pick what you need, and what works for you, find some replacement items for those you could not find, and satisfactorily walk out.

Now you can look at our world and our system on the same basis:

• Be selective: as you walk through life, know that you cannot have everything. You need to select what you want and need.
• Know what you want: without it, you might end up wanting everything or nothing, neither of which will make you happy. In other words, just because it is on Instagram or a top seller on Amazon, does not mean this is the right experience or product for your life.
• Be satisfied: we look around us, we see others standing in the line of life, like friends traveling to spots we might not actually enjoy but look beautiful, or couples who look so happy with matching ‘ugly sweaters’ we would never wear. Be satisfied with the life you have made for yourself, use your own tools to make it the best version for you.
• Know the system is not tailored to you: the system is designed, tailored, and operates, for the majority. For the ‘average’. In some aisles, you might be the average, in other aisles, you might be different. Some aspects of life will be optimized to you. Others will not be. Accept it. Make the best of it.

So how do you measure the health of your life then?

How do we measure success, or value?

When you walk out of the grocery store, your measure of success of the trip is not by what your neighbor bought, or by what brand of pasta your best friend chose. It is measured by your own grocery list, made by you, for you.

In life: the measure by which we value success is not wrong — all measures are wrong.

Maybe all rulers are wrong — Phoebe Buffay, Friends.

There is no one metric to success, to happiness, to value. It is all subjective. It is what you need, what makes sense to you, what you believe you deserve.

There is no one person, for whom this grocery store is made, and for whom this life is designed.

So this is where I disagrees with Charles. It is all up to you. As Tim Denning aptly notes in his article, the system is not rigged – the system is you.