What Happened When I Ordered A Fabulous Day!

I had ordered a fabulous day but I wake up and immediately fall headlong into a self-pity, victim, idiot, beat yourself up hole. It was completely unmarked. I had absolutely no idea it was there and it really did take me by surprise. It completely knocked the stuffing out of me.

Bloody hell! I could’ve sworn I ordered a fabulous day and yet there I was wallowing in self-pity.

I began to cough and splutter a sure sign that I needed to get something off my chest but I really wasn’t sure what it was. My inner being was shouting up at me but in truth, I was feeling too peeved to pay proper attention.

Apparently, something had gone wrong in the cooking process but I was too busy being pitiful and a victim to bother to find out. So far it had been not such a fabulous day and it wasn’t even 8 am!

I moped for a little while longer in the hope that my mood might brighten but there was nothing doing.

“How the hell did this happen?” I asked myself.

I had quite clearly set my intention before going to sleep and I quite clearly ordered a fabulous day. So exactly how had I ended up in this big black hole before I had even put a foot out of bed?

And then it struck me. Obviously, something had gone wrong in the cooking process because no one in their right mind would have created this. Was this what inner being was going on about?

I felt a little better knowing that it wasn’t my fault and that it was the cooking process that had caused the problem. After all, I was a master manifester and I was sure I always manifested the very best. Or did I?

Had I really been using the best possible ingredients to manifest my fabulous day? Hmm. It got me thinking.

Was there any evidence to suggest I hadn’t done my best?

I looked around my room and realized that actually, I had a few old spices lingering in hard-to-reach dark places. The sort of strong spices that would have been used to disguise the flavour of meat that was turning rotten.

I really should have thrown them out a long time ago or better still used them whilst they were fresh, but I hadn’t because I was just too lazy.

Yeah but I’m not lazy all the time I reasoned. I’m sure I wasn’t lazy when I put in my order!

Turned out it wasn’t just the spices. There were some old decorations that should have been thrown out or kicked into touch a long long time ago. But no, they sat there, winking at me.

A constant reminder of better times, better places, better everything but now they looked like I felt. Unloved and unwanted, tied to a glittering past; they used to look good but now they had long since lost their shine. It struck me that they were a sad reflection of me. Oh, dear!

A few more questions popped into my little muddled brain.

Why was I keeping them? Why couldn’t I let them go? I am no longer the same person who bought them, they no longer match who I am so why are they still cluttering up my space and making things look ugly. Am I afraid of change?

I didn’t want to answer those questions simply because I knew I didn’t have any good answers and that was kinda embarrassing.

This day was just getting worse and worse. So far it was definitely not full of the fabulosity I was hoping for.

Feeling frustrated I go outside and begin to clean my balcony. The city dust clings persistently to my windows. No rose-tinted windows for me.

They are black like my thoughts covered in the insidious urban dust.

A nasty little question pops into my head.

Why do I live in the city?

I try to ignore it but my inner being has grown a little stronger and sends a couple more in quick succession.

Is close proximity to the 24/7 booze shop a better choice than 24/7 fresh air?

Churlishly, I had to admit it had a point.

A water wagon passes by spraying the road with water. I smile momentarily as the lyrics from Fleetwood Mac Dreams blasts into my mind.

“When the rain washes you clean, you’ll know.

You’ll know. You will know.”

So here I am. Like so many of us I’m somewhere I don’t want to be living in a body that I have modified very badly so that it no longer performs at optimum capacity, heading towards an undisclosed location.

Ping. Another notification pops into my brain. It’s inner being again. This time with a bit of positivity.Silver lining and all that stuff.

Perhaps this is a fabulous day after all it suggests. Perhaps this is a wake-up call!

It had a point. If I had never fallen into this hole I would never have noticed the faces that surround me.

Without this hole, I would never have questioned my creation process.

Without this hole, I would never have decided that it really is time to throw away the old and clear out the clutter. A time to decide on a new recipe.

What do I really want to bake? One thing is for sure I will be using the best possible ingredients. I will follow the instructions carefully and maybe even watch a Masterclass or two.

A well of emotion brims up inside of me and my eyes begin to water. I catch a whiff of coffee and remember I left it brewing on the stove. I rush in and find the geezer crying coffee tears. I open up the lid to peek inside and realise I have filled it too full and now it’s brimming over. I have an abundance of the dark bitter stuff.

I reflect on this for a little while and realise it is yet another mirror of me.

At this point, my head’s ringing but my body is calm.

What’s next?

I don’t know but I do know it’s going to be a fabulous day!