What Guilt Feels Like

Summary

The text is a poetic reflection on the personal experience of guilt, describing it as an onslaught of invisible, poisonous arrows that cause deep emotional pain and turmoil.

Abstract

"What Guilt Feels Like" is a prose poem that metaphorically equates the sensation of guilt to being constantly struck by invisible arrows. These arrows inflict silent and acute pain, akin to the sharpness of a physical arrow, but without any visible wounds. The author describes the relentless nature of guilt, which strikes unexpectedly, saps strength, and erodes sanity. Despite the desire to be happy and the recognition of one's own innocence in certain situations, the individual is consumed by self-blame and a sense of responsibility for things beyond their control. The poem conveys a struggle to understand the purpose of this suffering, questioning whether it is a form of salvation, punishment, or redemption. Amidst the pain, there is a persistent hope for relief, even if it's just a faint glimmer or a distant rainbow, illustrating the resilience of the human spirit even in the face of overwhelming guilt.

Opinions

Guilt is likened to a continuous assault by invisible arrows, suggesting it is an omnipresent and pervasive force in the author's life.
The author feels that the pain of guilt is not only emotional but also affects one's mental stability, indicating a

Prose Poem

You know the feeling when an arrow pierces you? Arrows are sharp (quite sharp) and cause a lot of pain (acute pain) — when they hit you. This getting hit by arrows is in old tales, isn’t it? — of people killing each other during battles or the good people killing the bad people with arrows? But what if you have arrows hitting or piercing you every moment of your life? Invisible arrows, their edges poisonous enough to kill you, or incapacitate you if they can’t kill you, not just cause pain. No blood seeping out, only pain — the silent and acute pain only you can feel. The arrows pour in from all sides and hit you at certain times, certain moments — there is a weird continuum. No wonder, you get killed almost every day. Yet, you live — You live because these are invisible arrows.

You cannot defend yourself unless you try to avoid them, but you can’t avoid them because these are invisible arrows — You don’t know when they will hit you. You need to be strong enough to avoid them, but you can’t be strong enough in a trice because these are invisible arrows — You don’t know when they will hit you. You cry in pain every day, but you can’t avoid them because these are invisible arrows. It is not the physical pain that you endure, your sanity also acts up. You try to save your sanity, but you can’t because these are invisible arrows. So, you face this oddity and continue to live.

You also try to find out what this is all about. You know you are not at fault for some things, but blame yourself. You try to be happy, but you aren’t. Your mind keeps whirring at an unbelievable speed. You can’t stop the madness and the sadness. You are blank most times, trying to understand why these invisible arrows target only you. You live this life, which is like a mountain that you can’t move. Yet, you move it every day whilst getting hit by these invisible arrows, and live with that burden, in so much agony. You learn lessons every day. That distress, that unease keeps hurting you. You don’t know if there’s a way out. Yet, you feel responsible for so many things, some not even related to you. Yet, you like to get hurt every day, and live this life. Is this your salvation, punishment, redemption? — You quite don’t know, what you should name it.

Yet, you wish to get rid of these feelings someday — even getting rid of some of them will do. You wish to see a glimmer of hope someday — even a faint one will do. You wish to see a colorful rainbow someday — even a distant one will do. You’re waiting, you’re waiting, you are waiting — You know, it’s a long, agonizing wait. Yet, you are hopeful!