What Great Writers and Conversationalists Have in Common

Writers and conversationalist are sisters of a big happy family

Reading a great piece always feels like listening to something from someone really interesting.

There is this feeling about exceptional write-ups that makes the reader became an attentive listener. It is the same as when a great conversationalist talks to you.

You can feel the connection through words as if the writer is sitting right next to you; and telling you the exact thing you are reading.

What do these two have in common?

Their approach

Even the word “okay” can be offensive in certain situations.

We can say the same thing differently and it can make a huge difference. Great writers understood the significance of this blessing and use it to their advantage — and so did conversationalists.

Their face expression, their genuine interest in their audience is the same. Yes, even for writers. Try writing with an open and embracing expression on your face and you’ll see what I mean. The readers will reciprocate. It works wonders.

Our readers become listeners too, but only when we are truly interested in the message we are trying to convey. We are behind the screen, but that interest reflects in our choice of words even if we don’t notice it.

I’ve made it upon my self to never write an article on Medium when I am in a bad mood. Because the result is catastrophic. I will have this amazing idea that I want to pen down, but after the first draft, I can hardly feel the connection between the words myself.

The contents we enjoy a lot on this app aren’t those which we can relate to, but those that the writer feels like a friend.

Talk to a friend.

They both listen

This can be straight forward for a conversationalist. But, have you ever met a great writer that is not an avid reader? I haven’t.

Take a look at when you supported a friend with a counsel and watch closely at the whole process. It began with that friend of yours speaking and you listening — not hearing.

Listening takes more energy than mere hearing. Listening involves paying attention and becoming genuinely interested in what the other has to say.

If you aren’t writing for fun, then you’ll be okay with going the extra mile in listening to what your readers have to say. From their kind responses to criticisms.

Listening is a skill and it is always heartily rewarded.

“Wisdom is the reward you get for a lifetime of listening when you’d have preferred to talk.” — Doug Larson

If you’ve ever interacted with editors of popular publications on this platform, then you know exactly what I mean. They make you feel like a friend and listen to your complaint. Not just that, they make an effort to help you with what you need providing it is not out of their reach.

Jessica Jungton has a way of making you feel like you are the only writer on The Writing Cooperative. These editors are great conversationalists, and to say they are great writers is an understatement.

Listen.

Impression comes last

It will amaze you to notice that the coolest guy in any circle isn’t the one that is forcing it. The coolest and badass writer doesn’t have to use those complex phrases to show that his words matter.

Read a piece from Tim Rettig, Sergey Faldin, Josh Spector, Tim Denning, or Niklas Göke; and count the number of words you’ll have to think twice before grasping the meaning. For me, it is mostly none.

To a great conversationalist or writer, expression matters more than anything else. How you express yourself is more important and does a better job of marketing your brand than if you focus on impressing your readers or listeners.

Write to express not impress; and everything will fall into place.

Arch Lustberg ended his book “How to sell yourself” with an old proverb:

“Tell me and I will forget. Show me and I may remember. Involve me and I’ll understand.”

Become a better conversationalist and it’ll reflect in your writing. Why? Because you are involving yourself.

In brief:

• Make the reader a friend, and talk to them.
• Listen.
• Express.