What Goes into Making a Narcissist
Who is to blame?
What is NPD?
Aka Narcissistic Personality Disorder, as the name suggests is a personality disorder where individuals face difficulties empathizing with others, have an inflated sense of self-importance, & have an excessive urge for admiration.
Well, that’s an outline of the narcissistic personality disorder which seems merry, however, the in-depth analysis of narcissistic behavior is scary. Here’s a glossary of what includes narcissistic behavior.
Traits of Narcissistic Personality Disorder
- A belief in superiority over others
- Shaming, manipulating & belittling people
- Very fragile self-esteem, intolerance towards slightest criticism
- Using rage to dominate people around them
- Mood shifts when they feel inferior
- Boasting their achievements, although they’re meager
- A tendency to exploit others due to their lack of empathy
- Vulnerable self-esteem & insecurity hidden behind their superficial charm of perfection
Narcissists have a great impact on the people around them, be it their children, spouse, friends, or neighbors. As they feel entitled to deserve what people around them have the best to offer, they tend to exploit them. When caught, they’re likely to use manipulation & gaslighting techniques to get their way and prove themselves right. But what goes into building such a toxic personality?
Making Of a Narcissist
There’s no one particular person or circumstance to blame, but there are multiple factors that contribute to the making of a Narcissistic Personality Disorder.
Parenting, upbringing & environment play a major role, however, scientists have found evidence that suggests the involvement of genes that contribute to NPD. Let’s discuss what kind of parenting, upbringing & environment makes a narcissist.
Parenting Don’ts
- Helicopter parenting
- Excessive praise
- Valuing success, or goals over values and morals
- Not teaching the kids to empathize
- Neglectful parenting, not being present for the child
- Excessive criticism
- Not attending to the child during emotional breakdowns
If you are wondering why both excessive praise and excessive criticism cause narcissism, there are two kinds of narcissists.
Grandiose Narcissists & Vulnerable Narcissists;
Grandiose narcissists as their name suggests have a high sense of entitlement and feel they are superior to others.
Vulnerable narcissists, on the other hand, have a fragile self-esteem, they are negative, hostile, and insecure. And need constant approval & validation from people to be normal.
When parents show excessive admiration for their children, a sense of superiority is developed and they feel entitled. These traits are seen in grandiose narcissism. On the other hand when the child is undervalued & criticized at each step the child develops an insecure personality and struggles with low self-esteem. Such traits are seen in covert narcissism.
The child starts seeing the world as an unfair place as he/she had experienced with neglectful parents, and hence develops covert narcissism. However, it doesn’t imply that every child who had faced abuse in childhood grows up to be a narcissist.
Upbringing & Environment
Environment involves culture and culture has a huge hand in making a narcissist. Especially the patriarchal cultures where males are taught that they are entitled to all the services by the women.
The child gets his narcissistic behavior essentially when he is the successor of his narcissistic father. He watches and fantasizes about all the privileges his father has unquestionable authority. I’ve written an entire article about how culture is responsible for narcissism, do check it out.
Upbringing is toxic when the child is either taught that he/she deserves all the best no matter what. His/her values are jeopardized when achievements are valued more than empathy & compassion. As in, “Just get it done, you can follow the values later.” This kind of environment is prone to raising a narcissist.
Genetics to Blame?
Not much. Genetics do play a role as the narcissistic personality disorder can be inherited, but for a fully-fledged narcissistic behavior, environment, parenting & upbringing is responsible.
Chinese research conducted on 305 pairs of twins based on the Psychological Entitlement Scale and the Narcissistic Grandiosity Scale showed that about 35% of the entitlement and 23% of the grandiosity can be inherited.
That doesn’t mean 35 & 23% of narcissism is inherited but those are the percentages of only entitlement & grandiosity. Narcissism has a lot more traits than entitlement & grandiosity.
