What Gets In The Way Of Our Commitments?

The title of this piece is a solid question, but it’s one that we probably never put much consideration into. If any at all. However, when I give you the answer that I think it correct, many readers might totally agree that I make sense. To me, I think it’s all about emotions. Expert state that the real question should be, “what emotions get in your way of seeing through on commitments?” When I was learning about this, I did have an “ah-ha” moment. Because it made so much sense. And it didn’t seem at all difficult to answer.

Many experts that deal in emotion health seem to usually have only a few go-to categories that deal with the answer to this. One that I relate to right away is emotions connected to perfectionism.

Now at first, that might seem like a total opposite. While my times as a perfectionist have calmed down through the years, I can still relate to how many believe that perfectionism can and does interfere with following through on commitments.

In my own life, when I had those type of tendencies, I found that I would have many “almost finished” kind of projects all around me. Perfectionism can be a positive tool, but it can also be something that really holds me down.

Repetitive starting over, do-overs, a constant thought that more preparing was needed, but on almost neurotic levels. I never completed any task nor commitments because, in my mind, I just wasn’t quite done. It was not perfect enough. This type of process can cause emotional turmoil inside. A battle over oneself whether a commitment was good enough. Meanwhile, it had been just fine, when first completed. Before perfectionism took over.

To sidestep a little bit to another roadblock is one where motivation seems lacking from the very start. It can relate to low self-esteem or lacking confidence. A person avoids attempts at committing to something because they really think that anything they touch turns to an instant mess.

Does it branch out further than that? Maybe its other things as well that show themselves through this type of thinking and tactic. For instance, this can also be people that don’t lack the actual drive, but instead, it is just pure laziness.

An excuse maker. Someone who can always one up, on you, when they always are able to give you an excuse as to why they cannot make a commitment. They are too busy, too tired, they don’t feel well, they have other alleged commitments, etc etc.

This too has a definite connection to emotional roadblocks in the mind. This type of scenario has the negative potential to grow in strength as time goes on. With laziness or lack of motivation, becoming easier and easier. Not only getting us out of commitments but also lessening our confidence in ourselves and our own abilities.

Another type of scenario for things interfering with our commitments is not one which is representative of a person’s lack of drive or their laziness.

While it may be disguised as so, but instead we are talking about people who are completely guided in an emotionally fueled manner. One that easily generates a feeling of being overwhelmed over almost any kind of commitment. Commitments, even smaller ones, just seem almost impossible.

These people get so flustered when the thought of commitment or responsibility comes up. These types of people are very difficult to rely on and for the most part, they get a reputation that’s given accordingly.

My point with all of this is basic in nature. I give the advice that states if we are finding ourselves struggling with following through and completing commitments, instead of looking outward, as we might usually do, look inward first.

Doing that will allow us to determine if we are being our own roadblocks when it comes to being depended on when handed a commitment. Whether it’s handed to us, or we actually volunteer for one leads us down the same path, and can teach us, whether or not, we are blocking not only commitments but our own maturity and development as well.

Thanks for reading!

Michael Patanella

is a Trenton, New Jersey Author, Publisher, Columnist, Editor, Advocate, and recovering addict, covering topics of mental health, addiction, sobriety, mindfulness, self-help, faith, spirituality, Smart Recovery, social advocacy, and countless other nonfiction topics. His articles, publications, memoirs, and stories are geared towards being a voice for the voiceless. Hoping to reach others out there still struggling.