Summary

The article discusses how gardening has provided the author with valuable life lessons on coping with failure and anxiety.

Abstract

The author shares personal experiences of dealing with mental health challenges and career setbacks, highlighting how gardening has served as a therapeutic outlet. Through the process of nurturing plants, the author learns to accept the unpredictability of outcomes, understanding that effort does not always guarantee success due to factors beyond one's control. The hobby dispels the myth of innate talent, emphasizing that skills are developed through practice and failure. The article also touches on the unexpected surprises that can arise from seemingly hopeless situations, drawing parallels between plant propagation and personal growth. The author encourages readers to remain open to life's unpredictable nature, suggesting that opportunities may arise when least expected.

Opinions

The author believes that the cultural narrative of "pulling yourself up by your bootstraps" can lead to unnecessary self-blame when outcomes are not as expected.
They express that the concept of a "green thumb" is a misnomer and that gardening success is more about following instructions and learning from failure than innate ability.
The author suggests that acceptance of failure is crucial and that one should not get too attached to the outcome, instead appreciating the experience.
They offer a realistic perspective on positivity, acknowledging that while it's important to remain hopeful, one should also be prepared for unexpected challenges and opportunities.

ARTICLE

What Gardening Has Taught Me About Failure

When a hobby to ease anxiety gives you unexpected lessons along the way.

“Lucky Bamboo” plant (left) Dracaena Reflexa (right)

For many of us who struggle with mental health, failure can be quite an agonizing and triggering experience.

On multiple occasions, I have let career opportunities pass me by, out of not only a fear of failing but fear of potentially spiraling due to that failure. From purposefully ignoring calls, missing phone interviews, and skipping evaluations, let’s just say I’ve succeeded in avoiding potential failures by creating new ones.

My last year of university was rough. I struggled to keep up with my classes, the online format was exhausting, to say the least.

During these times, gardening became a much-needed outlet. If I was too anxious or stressed out, I would take a breath and take care of my plants. I ended up becoming attached to them.

I gave them names and sometimes I’d pet their leaves and talk to them, which initially made me feel like I was approaching insanity, but it’s only natural for us to become attached to the things we spend the most time on.

I’ve realized this hobby has been helping me cope with my anxieties, and reframe my failures in ways I never thought I’d be able to do.

1) At times, it doesn’t matter how hard you try: the flower will not flourish.

Hard work does not always pay off.

It’s one of the hardest things to admit, especially when you’ve lived your life surrounded by the nonsensical “pull yourself up by your bootstraps” narrative. You end up blaming yourself when there are many factors at play that are out of your control.

There is a meditative mantra that gardening helped me truly understand:

Don’t get too attached to the outcome, appreciate the experience.

Yes, I tried very hard. Yes, I did all of the right steps, but man this plant will not propagate. These roots have gone completely rotten.

Sometimes, it just happens. The outcome is not what you were expecting.

However, there is no use in blaming ourselves. As difficult as it may be, at times all we can do is accept it and move on.

2) There is no such thing as having a green thumb or a brown thumb.

My sister is great at baking, and something she said one day while mixing her cake batter really stuck out to me: “It took me a while to realize that a recipe is just another word for instructions.”

We tend to be amazed by the “talent” of people as if the creative process is some intrinsic, almost divine quality. When in reality it’s all about trying, failing, and growing. Your favorite artist has spent years perfecting their technique, just as your favorite bakery has perfected their recipes.

Their delicious brownies and intriguing art is not a product that necessarily comes out of spontaneity and pure talent — as we tend to romanticize the creative process — no, it took many tries and failures to get there.

Similarly, before I started sowing seeds and propagating plants on my own, I viewed gardening as this unattainable thing that only those with “green thumbs” and years of experience are capable of doing.

This is just another way this fear of failure manifests itself in our internal thoughts. An excuse we tell ourselves to not try, in order to avoid a potential disappointment.

3) Sometimes when all seems hopeless, life surprises you.

I’ve done a lot of propagation experiments. Many have failed and many have succeeded. For instance, these Wishbone flowers were a successful first-time experiment:

Whereas these Petunias were a complete flop:

However, at times just when it looks like the plant can’t possibly grow, some green sprouts start to manifest:

I’m not gonna tell you to be in a state of unrealistic positivism since that doesn’t help anybody on this planet. However, if you find you’re being too tough on yourself, try to remind yourself that things can turn around for the better, in surprising ways. There is so little we know about how this world works. Sometimes opportunities appear when you least expect them.

For instance, just when I thought my job hunting was a fruitless endeavor, I unexpectedly got an interview.

Remember that doors will open. Your time will come!

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